[dawson9b7b]

*Look around on "Sermonsnacks" and let God speak to you through His word.

*Forward some "Snacks" to friends, family, co-workers...you will both be blessed and encouraged!

* Make a "Snack" of your own to share! You can help someone today! (button on left over there!)

* Visit sermonsnacks.com everyday and fill up! There low cal and will make you big and strong!

*Invite Don (our founder) to speak to your group/church! (He's got a button too!)

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by dawson9b7b

* Visit sermonsnacks.com everyday and fill up! There low cal and will make you big and strong!

There low cal? Where low cal?

Don, if your "sermon snacks" are of as high a quality as your spam, I doubt they're very nutritious.

Fortunately, we have the King James Bible, the Word of God (instead of the Word of Don, see the difference?) to nourish us.

Thanks for the kindly offer of Spamburgers, however.

Have you met Jesus, or are you just eager to make a buck off Him? Perhaps you'd like to review a handy-dandy Bible quiz at www.landoverbaptist.org/quizlist.html, and see what things you would like to add to your Smokincrack website!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

I suppose you'd like a nice glass of milk with those "snacks," since you are obviously a milk Christian rather than a meat Christian:

Heb. 5:12-14: For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which [be] the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. For every one that useth milk [is] unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, [even] those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.

Here at Landover Baptist Church, we have the strong meat of the entire King James Bible, not cut-up steak, i.e., the parts of Scripture that bliss-ninny liberal "Christians" like. We therefore have no need for your "snacks."

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by More Saved Than Thou

I suppose you'd like a nice glass of milk with those "snacks," since you are obviously a milk Christian rather than a meat Christian:

Heb. 5:12-14: For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which [be] the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. For every one that useth milk [is] unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, [even] those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.

Here at Landover Baptist Church, we have the strong meat of the entire King James Bible, not cut-up steak, i.e., the parts of Scripture that bliss-ninny liberal "Christians" like. We therefore have no need for your "snacks."

This passage also explains why GOD hates vegetarians and vegans.

[SUV]

Well, "Demon snacks" is more like it.

Where's the Beef, Brother? Where is the Beef?

You call this Meat?



Look at that truly pity-ful shadow of Gravy. And, where's the Mayo? Hey - where's the Bacon? No Ketchup? No Cheese, even?

And what about these "crab cakes?" I don't even want to think about anything scuttling sideways across my Dinner plate and getting in he way of my knife and fork. Plus, I think shell 'fish' are supposed to be...SINFUL!!!

Nice try for a newcomer, but I know you can do better. The Proof is in the Pudding, so now let's see the Dessert that goes with this "Meal!" C'mon, what else you got?

[OnYourKnees]

I had a look at that "sermoncrack" website.

They use some "modern" bible perversion, not even God's Word!

They're a bunch of satanists, is what they are, trying to corrupt the Godly at LBC!

[SalvationSeeker]

Originally Posted by dawson9b7b

*Invite Don (our founder) to speak to your group/church! (He's got a button too!)

I'll take you up on this..
Send this Don here, to God's forum, and we will deal with the satanic antichrist accordingly.
We will show him how he has no idea what God's Word says and that he is going to hell for spreading a false gospel.

He cannot speak for God, nor replace Him, and God will smite whoever who tries to usurp His Glory! GLORY!
You silly crackers are not needed for anyone's Salvation, but the Word of God, The Holy KJV1611 Bible, is what is required!

[OnYourKnees]

He shouldn't be hard to deal with, considering he uses "The Message" and completely ignores God's Word!

Here's a handy article on The Message:

http://www.swrc.com/subscriptions/po/2005/march.htm

There are now over 300 versions of the Bible that have appeared since 1881 when Drs. Westcott and Hort took the corrupted Alexandrian Texts and produced a new Greek New Testament. One of the latest, if not the latest, is The Message (The Bible in Contemporary Language), or in contemptible language, depending upon your point of view. The Message is the holy book, or holey book, of the Purpose Driven Church movement. Dr. Rick Warren references The Message 83 times in his book, The Purpose Driven Life, and it is referenced a majority over other newer translations in a new capsule-sized edition of The Purpose Driven Life titled What on Earth Am I Here For, just published by Rupert Murdoch through Zondervan Publishing.

Dr. Theodore Letis, author of The Ecclesiastical Text, and professor at Concordia University, summed up his opinion of the PDC movement thusly:

He [Warren] decided he wanted to be a winner instead of a loser, and so in a Mephistopheles manner, he suddenly became successful -- the way all mega-churches become successful -- by appealing to the American middle class angst with the suave of affirmation. He has taken Wayne Dyer's pop-psychology/New Age Hippie cosmology (see Dyer's book and VERY popular PBS video/DVD TV series: Power of Intention: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way), given it a dumbed-down, evangelical spin, and like Dyer (an academic drop-out from the field of Philosophy), he has become a very successful -- and I suspect -- a very wealthy man.
[Warren] has gutted the Christian faith of all its content, thus maximizing his capacity to appeal to ALL religious backgrounds, as well as the "unchurched" who possess sizable incomes, but sadly, with no place to direct it.

Horrifying.

Here's a sample:

John 1:1 is a biblical test verse for a translations' accuracy and credibility:

In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

There are no verse numbers in The Message, on purpose, so it will be more difficult to check and compare scripture. But the first five lines in The Message on John were comparative, so I read:

The Word was first, the Word present to God, God present to the Word, The Word was God, in readiness for God from day one.

Will someone write and tell me what this means? It is evident Dr. Peterson didn't know what it meant.

Next I wondered what The Message had done to such passages as the beatitudes, so I read first from Matthew 5:

v. 5: Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
v. 6: Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled...
v. 8: Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

Next, I turned to the seemingly comparative paraphrases in The Message and read:

v. 5: You're blessed when you're content with just who you are -- no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
v. 6: You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat...
v. 8: You're blessed when you get your inside world -- your mind and heart -- put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

Other than endorsing narcissism and pantheism, I get no meaning from Dr. Peterson's interpretation of the Sermon on the Mount. Otherwise, I must appropriate these paraphrase meanderings to the mouthing of an inebriated priest who has lingered a little too long at the Benedictine bottle.

It is one thing to dumb down church members with vernacular translations, but quite another to make Jesus Christ sound like the village idiot, saying things that He never said. I personally would not want to answer at the Judgment Seat for editing or rewriting what Jesus said. I, for one, think Jesus knew what He wanted to say, and said it.