[lord warrior]

I am not new here. But I have not been to this holy place for a year and a half.For the way my life has spiraled out of control. I use to talk about our little hollow church and my teen wife, Amy. Now these things are gone.

My little Amy, the girl I tried to save from her life of sin, ran away. She said she could not take the discipline I was imposing on her to make her a good, christian wife. She ran off to the city where she meet a "nicer" boy, a black man. He is part of a gang, and since he will not work, forces her to lie with men for money. She is also a crack addict. I tried to get her back. I got the opportunity to "discipline" her little stud. But she was with another groid well before that funeral. While I tried after that, and loved playing "sniper", I knew that she truly belonged to Satan, and had to give up.

I was also a pastor of the Holy Rolling Hollow church. But a terrible scandal put a end to that. One of our youth pastors lured into a sexual relationship with a couple of the 6th graders from St Mary. We found out that they were trollops looking for fun. And since the boys there age were always with there priests, they went to find some non-homo's. Well when the cops found all the kiddie porn in the rectory, they also found some undercover vids that had some of our boy's in there. The girls said they were inspired by Paris Hilton, and wanted to be just like her.
So the catlick DA charged some of our members with various sex crimes. He said " all relegions are full of pedophiles".


So when we morgaged the church to get the boy's out of trouble, the catlick bank managers forclosed on us.


So here I now sit, in my little trailer in Coon's hollow. No wife to cook and clean for me. No church for me to save and redeem souls. And then Miss April says she want's to be my friend. And I remember that her the are true christians. Real god fearing women who already know how to act like a good christian lady. And now I have returned.

I just hope that the good pastors and deacons will allow me to stay after losing to Satan every time in the last year.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Welcome back Brother. It's great to see you again. Sorry to hear about your woes. Can I assume that the 18 months worth of Tithes you owe us will be forthcoming? Our joo accountants are standing by.

BTW: Pastor Huckabee lost.

[Max Bayes]

The recession is not just a recession of the economy, it is one of faith. As long as you can repay your debt to God, I'm sure he'll consolidate all your sins into one low, monthly, affordable flagellation.

Only kidding, brother! Sorry to worry you if we thought we went all jew-catholohick on you. I'm sure the pastors will understand your woes, and welcome you back with open arms.

My name is Max, I'm one of the few (but ever growing) representatives of Landover here in Godless UK. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

[Brother Lazarus]

Originally Posted by lord warrior

I am not new here. But I have not been to this holy place for a year and a half.For the way my life has spiraled out of control. I use to talk about our little hollow church and my teen wife, Amy. Now these things are gone.

My little Amy, the girl I tried to save from her life of sin, ran away. She said she could not take the discipline I was imposing on her to make her a good, christian wife. She ran off to the city where she meet a "nicer" boy, a black man. He is part of a gang, and since he will not work, forces her to lie with men for money. She is also a crack addict. I tried to get her back. I got the opportunity to "discipline" her little stud. But she was with another groid well before that funeral. While I tried after that, and loved playing "sniper", I knew that she truly belonged to Satan, and had to give up.

I was also a pastor of the Holy Rolling Hollow church. But a terrible scandal put a end to that. One of our youth pastors lured into a sexual relationship with a couple of the 6th graders from St Mary. We found out that they were trollops looking for fun. And since the boys there age were always with there priests, they went to find some non-homo's. Well when the cops found all the kiddie porn in the rectory, they also found some undercover vids that had some of our boy's in there. The girls said they were inspired by Paris Hilton, and wanted to be just like her.
So the catlick DA charged some of our members with various sex crimes. He said " all relegions are full of pedophiles".


So when we morgaged the church to get the boy's out of trouble, the catlick bank managers forclosed on us.


So here I now sit, in my little trailer in Coon's hollow. No wife to cook and clean for me. No church for me to save and redeem souls. And then Miss April says she want's to be my friend. And I remember that her the are true christians. Real god fearing women who already know how to act like a good christian lady. And now I have returned.

I just hope that the good pastors and deacons will allow me to stay after losing to Satan every time in the last year.

You certainly have trod the rough road. Perhaps if you had maintained fellowship with the flock here at Landover your path would have been less difficult. I can't speak for the Pastors, but assuming you are still right with Jesus I certainty would have no problem joining you in Fellowship with the Lord.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[lord warrior]

Forgive me. Yes I know he lost, but the site will not let me delete the sig. It is just another reminder of the bad year all men of god are having.

[Vavoline Johnson]

Well, it be a pleasure to introduce myself to yo! I got me a daughter, LeVitra that jist may help you fo-git yo troubles, that, combined wif pray, of course