[John North]

As you all know there are very few video games available that doesn’t force satanic influences upon the players. Numerous are the games that has turned children into homosexuals or Catholics. Now, in one way this is easily addressed; you can simply prevent your kids from playing. Just give them a bible and slap them around a little in case they are incapable of appreciating the true joy of getting closer to Jesus and God.

However, since I’m trained in the art of computer programming, I think it would be a good idea trying to create a True Christian video game. This is of course not all simple but with the guidance of Jesus, I’m convinced that it is possible.

Of the essence is of course that the message sent by any True Christian video game must never be subject of misinterpretation. For example, it’s utterly important that evil will never win in the game. That would send the wrong signals. Equally as important is it to teach the player that true Christianity is superior to everything else.

Here follow some ideas of mine and some concept art. Since LBC is an infinite source of wisdom and creativity, I’m glad for all the input I can get before I actually start coding; like comment or additional game concept suggestions.

1. Pac Jesus

This game is vaguely similar to a God mocking game from the early 80’s where you controlled some Asian guy that was hunted (and often defeated by) satanic ghosts. In my version, this concept is brought to a completely new domain. Here you guide Pac Jesus through a tricky maze. Eat golden power-up crosses and terminate the evil burqa maniacs. The large number of power-ups guarantees that Pac Jesus will always be in terminator mode, thus children playing will learn that nothing is greater than the power of Christ.




2. Romney Kong

Yet another adaptation. In the original game the hero was a pasta eating catholic. The whole concept was insane. However, I’ve made proper adjustments in order for the game to be morally educative. The player controls Romney Kong. With a great arsenal of American made M67 grenades the player must take out the pope before he will reach the top of the building and push Romney Kong down. I have some plans of a boss fight with Obama where he will be eaten by badgers, but this is yet to be settled.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Obama eaten by badgers?

How will that work? Does Romney Kong fling badgers at Obama, while Obama dodges or bats them away with his satellite-dish ears? Once enough of the badgers get a grip on Obama he weakens, bleeds out, and is then dismembered?

That's very disturbing. Where do you come up with these ideas, anyway?

(Of course, if it were a True Christian™ instead of a Mormon flinging the badgers, say Zekey Kong, that would be much less disturbing.)

[lukasekman]

Nice idea, we can't let a*tists dominate the video game market.

I use to think about a Christian version of the Sims, where you need to spank your kids and attend church. When you click the Right mouse button (a basic action apple fags haven't heard of) on a kid, you will always have the spanking option.
The main cause of carrier advances and prosperity is your faith. Faith is calculated by how much you spank your kids, attend church, eat raw meat, vote Republican and doing the Right moral choices. In addition to the faith buff, spanking is also an excellent workout that improve your fitness.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Sleasepits and Sinners is very complex and it would be hard to do justice to the tabletop version. How about starting with a digital version of Ladies' Monopoly? (Though it's really just more of a teaching tool than an actual game).

[BuddyBraeswood]

Hello fellow nerd,

Have only ever designed the simplest of games so can only imagine what all it would take to make what's in my head (only a web dev, front end). Maybe there's a condensed version somewhere after this post...

End of times. Demon slayer. Has to go around collecting armor of God, thwarting temptations or distractions by kicking sinner/heathen butt? (maybe go this path or 'another' would make it a sense of urgency to collect pieces) Has to suit up before Jesus' return (or just make it straight through, no paths needed - there is only one anyway . Once The Almighty is here (either gets raptured because didn't collect all the armor, game ends or is suited to fight next with Jesus). Tasks to challenge knowledge in order to be given pieces of suit of course (maybe a number of similar tasks/questions/etc for same piece to make sure it's driven home). Once suited, second part of the game begins and crushing demon skulls or swinging around a "light" double edged sword or something to that effect (has to use armor or challenged with using it properly). Game ends when all demons are slain, bosses could be generals and could have a number of them with minions in between levels. a few more generals at the end then finale is Jesus destroying the coward or casting him into the pit. Then show character ascending or even finish the story of how the devil loses.

Guess this could be done on 2D playing field (3D in my head but your examples are Nintendo based - could still work like walking across screen, would make the border fixed at certain parts to move around that screen only, fight within before moving to next area) Was trying to look or even remember examples of games I played but since this was a while ago...

Please, feel free to PM, wouldn't mind bouncing ideas for ya or even talking it out. Or, at the very least, am curious to see what you came up with.

[Witch Hammer]

I think a virtual Judas Cradle would be nice.

Using a physics engine, one could developed a simulator where the operator has to deftly lower the sinner upon the point of the cradle with a system of ropes and pulleys... one wrong move and the sinner bleeds to death through the rectum before he has a chance to confess and accept Jesus.