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Smile Guess which True Christian Jesus visited in a dream last night! - 09-17-2009, 01:02 AM

Me!

In the dream, I was making a wine spritzer for my husband, Mr. Whitford, when the room around me started getting brighter. I turned around, and there in front of me was JESUS! If I wasn't already asleep, I would have fainted on the spot!
Jesus looked at me with His piercing blue eyes, and with a warm smile on His handsome face said, "Mary, you're doing pretty darned good. Thank you for spreading My Word."
I stammered a little, and my face was bright red, but I managed to get out a quiet, "Thank You, Lord. Thank You!"
He continued, "You did well when I brought you and your husband, Mr. Whitford, together and I inspired him to chose you to be his wife, and your son is a credit to you both. If I weren't returning any day now, he would grow into a fine True Christian™ man and find himself a fine True Christian™ wife to bear even MORE soldiers for me!"
A grin spread across my face as I asked, "That would have been great news, Lord! But please tell me, when ARE you coming back?"
Christ brushed a lock of His golden blond hair off his face and, grinning, said to me, "Patience, patience! You already know how everything ends, do you really want Me to spoil all the surprises for you?"
I dropped to my knees and cried, "Yes, Lord! YES! Please let me know!"
Jesus laughed - a sound more musical than the most melodious hymn yet unmistakenly masculine - and said, "Oh, sweet Mary Maria! I know all the sin in the world seems to be too much to bear! It hurts Me too. Don't think for a moment that I don't seeth with anger over what Hussein Obama is doing to America, or that sodomites don't stab at My heart with every thrust of their tallywhackers in places I never intended them to go! But I, in My role as My Father, had patience enough to create the world in six days when I could have snapped it all into existence in just one. You can show similar patience and wait a little longer for the trumpet to sound and you will be Raptured up to be with Me forever in Heaven!"
A tear found its way down my cheek. Was it happiness that the Rapture would be coming soon, or sadness that it hadn't come yet? Perhaps a little of both.
"I'm sorry, my precious Lord! I know that You have Your plan set and that You are following it as You see fit! I promise I will keep doing what I can in following Your plan for me too!"
With a chuckle, Jesus took me into His muscular arms and gave me a hug. "I know you will, Mary. Ever since you found My REAL Word and left the filthy world of papism and idolatry, you've done Me proud! Now keep up the good work, and don't let the liberals, sodomites, atheists, witches, and feminazis keep you down!"
He then tussled my hair and said, "You'd better finish making that spritzer and get it to Mr. Whitford. I'd hate for you to ascend to Glory with a blackened eye."
The Lord gave me a wink, then the room brightened once more and just like that, He was gone.

When I woke up, I was so excited that Mr. Whitford had to come into my room and slap me three times to get me to calm down! Jesus gave me a vision, proving without a shadow of a doubt that we are doing His work here at Landover!

HALLELUJAH!


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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Default Re: Guess which True Christian Jesus visited in a dream last nigh - 09-17-2009, 01:05 AM

Well praise Jesus, that must have been nice for you sister....


Note to self: Ask Mr. Whitford if his wife has been at the rum candy again.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Guess which True Christian Jesus visited in a dream last nigh - 09-17-2009, 01:17 AM

Nice? It was glorious! I'd like to see any atheisn'ts or hindon'ts argue with this conclusive proof that Jesus is REAL and only those who accept Him will find their way to Heaven!


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
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Default Re: Guess which True Christian Jesus visited in a dream last nigh - 09-17-2009, 02:47 AM

Sing Glory! Wonderful news, sister!

If you see him again, can you ask him how I can get abs like his! He's positively ripped!

YIC,

Robert


Cling to your guns and religion. "Change" is here.
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Default Re: Guess which True Christian Jesus visited in a dream last nigh - 09-17-2009, 04:07 AM

That is so TOTALLY AWESOME Sister Mary!


If it wasn't a sin, I would be TOTALLY jealous of you! I mean seriously, getting to meet Jesus? Hello, that's just about the coooooolest thing EVER!





(the pink smiley is me!)


Tammi




Girls, do you have embarrassing "problems" with your down there parts like I used to?
Reverend Jim Osborne can help!




He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he. Deuteronomy 32-4
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Default Re: Guess which True Christian Jesus visited in a dream last nigh - 09-17-2009, 04:55 AM

A true vision of Jesus if ever there was one, Sister, Absolute and undeniable. Seeing Jesus after death is truly a rare thing. I have heard that one can usually only see Jesus during to a near death experience telling you not yet.

To see Jesus in a dream, Hallelujah!

Here is another lady who has had visions of Jesus Christ. Sorry it's the 700 club with Pat Robertson.


Visions of Jesus
near death experience jesus
visitations from God


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: Guess which True Christian Jesus visited in a dream last nigh - 09-17-2009, 03:16 PM

Sister M&Ms, did this dream possibly also involve Donuts with Sprinkles on them and an Officer of the Law Shooting his Gun off?

Sister Victory-Over-Sex and I have been having this very same dream for the longest time now.

Could be something that's just "going around."
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Default Re: Guess which True Christian Jesus visited in a dream last nigh - 09-17-2009, 03:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
Sister M&Ms, did this dream possibly also involve Donuts with Sprinkles on them and an Officer of the Law Shooting his Gun off?

Sister Victory-Over-Sex and I have been having this very same dream for the longest time now.

Could be something that's just "going around."
No, it didn't. But now that you mention it, I do believe that Jesus was packing heat. That bulge in His pocket couldn't have been anything less than a Colt or Smith & Wesson!


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
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Default Re: Guess which True Christian Jesus visited in a dream last nigh - 09-18-2009, 04:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
No, it didn't. But now that you mention it, I do believe that Jesus was packing heat. That bulge in His pocket couldn't have been anything less than a Colt or Smith & Wesson!
A .357 Magnum? Or a .45?

I can't imagine He'd have a snub-nosed .38, or some weenie Derringer.


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Default Re: Guess which True Christian Jesus visited in a dream last nigh - 09-18-2009, 05:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD View Post
A .357 Magnum? Or a .45?

I can't imagine He'd have a snub-nosed .38, or some weenie Derringer.
This is Jesus we're talking about here, sister! When He packs heat, He packs it big and powerful!


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
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Default Re: Guess which True Christian Jesus visited in a dream last nigh - 09-19-2009, 09:04 PM

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Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
This is Jesus we're talking about here, sister! When He packs heat, He packs it big and powerful!
It's very ironic, sometimes during slow afternoons at the shop, I have these daydreams where CHRIST comes into buy a gun, and He always goes right for the .357 Magnums. Then I remember, He's already right there beside me the whole time! I LOVE JESUS!



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Default Re: Guess which True Christian Jesus visited in a dream last nigh - 09-21-2009, 12:36 PM

I'm sorry, but I can't see our Lord packing anything less than a .44 Magnum a la Dirty Harry. That's a man's gun and the ideal weapon to cast sinners straight to Hell with.




Jesus says: "I know what you're thinking. 'Did he send six souls to Hell or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off and send you straight to Hell to be sodomized by Satan for all eternity, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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Default Re: Guess which True Christian Jesus visited in a dream last nigh - 09-22-2009, 08:21 PM

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Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
This is Jesus we're talking about here, sister! When He packs heat, He packs it big and powerful!
No doubt! When He comes in glory, I hope He will let me hold His sword when He stops slaughtering 1/3 of mankind to wipe His brow!


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