Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum
Reload this Page Save my Children
Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Dwayne DeKalb Dwayne DeKalb is offline
Unsaved trash, hippie dopehead
 
Posts: 156
Join Date: Nov 2006
Dwayne DeKalb is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Dwayne DeKalb is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Save my Children - 08-23-2007, 06:52 AM

I’m sorry I haven’t gotten back to you sooner, but I just got out of jail and things could be better for me.
I just got out of jail and the state took my kids and I can’t get them back. I’m so afraid some queers or other such libral trash is going to get them. I don’t know what to do. It is really unfair. Yes, to be sure Iwas absent while serving my time in jail, but the kids know how to do their chores and where the food is. Little del has been to a Landover Camp ™ and he knows how to handle a gun. So does his older brother. They were never in any danger of starving to death.

I beseech you good people from to intervinve and adopy my children as foster carers so that they don’t go to Hell. I have worked so hard under so much adversity to raise them right.
Please, do whay you can to keep them out of lesbians and gays. Don’t let my little ones think that it’s ok to have two dads or moms! Please help me. I can’t sleep at night thinking my young ones aren’t reading the Bible every day because they are in a state sponsered building where people aren’t allowed to think about Jesus and God.

I cry myself to sleep thinking about what has happened, but I awkae smiling knowing the Lord has a plan. I am but a little ant in the field to question his almightness,

I was put in jail by the facist left wing government that controls the USA. Yes, Hitler, Staklin, Chairmin Mow, all left wingers and still in control of the world!

Well anyway, I must confess some guilt. I did return to the bottle. I went to the lamplighters blounge and I had quite a few. It was the fault of a queer. I could tell he was queer because he was drinking winesprinklers. No real man drinks them. I hunored him and wanted to know more about this terror cell, so i tried to keep up. But he must have sleeped me a mickey because I soon lost comtrol.

But God stayed with me. I started to feel sleepy, but then the word flowed through me and I fely inspired. I began to testify. Yes, I testified before the entire bar. I let them feel the power of God and what he could do. I testified for a half an hour and then the next thing i knew I was out on the the street. The threw me out.

Well, I got in my Ford F-150 and headed home and got my Bible. I returned to the bar and I began reading Leviticus in a Lordly tone of voice. I didn’t let up until dragged away by the left wing facist atheist conspiracy that rules the USA. These are the same peole who have the soles ofg my dear children in their hands. Please help me and be foster parents to my children. Send me a pm or to any senior Pastor for information and také my children into a God fearing home until I get on my feet again.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
eliot mayfield's Avatar
eliot mayfield eliot mayfield is offline
God Squad
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 3rd class Tin Tither Ribfest '06 Public Awareness Medal Saved 5 Years Long service medal, 2nd class Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Friend of Jesus Tell her once Flat Earth Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Save my Children - 08-23-2007, 07:45 AM

Looks to me like you're still drinking. Did you sign any papers when they took your kids? If not you need to give power of attorney to the church ASAP!


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


http://www.shangrala.org/Pictures/Christ%20Michael.jpg
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.'s Avatar
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is offline
Scientific Advisor
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Publisher's Choice True Christian™ Saved 1 Year Silver Tither True Heterosexual™ Ex-Gay True Scientist™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Trump of GOD True Christian Provider™ award Babysitter Stamp of Approval Alternative Facts Pastor Ezekiel Christian Love True Scientist™ Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Save my Children - 08-23-2007, 02:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb View Post
I’m sorry I haven’t gotten back to you sooner, but I just got out of jail and things could be better for me.
Don't apologize, I didn't even notice you were missing. Why were you in jail? Did you not pay your Jew lawyer enough money? Did you meet Mr. Hovind in there?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb View Post
I just got out of jail and the state took my kids and I can’t get them back. I’m so afraid some queers or other such libral trash is going to get them.
Well if the "man" took your kids, then you might want to get on that immediately Most likely they are in a brainwashing concentration camp (a/k/a "public school") and your time is running out. As Brother Mayfield suggested, turning power of attorney over to God (via Landover Baptist) and we'll see what we can do.... We have agents deep within the government that just may allow us to save™ your children. Whether you'll see them again is another matter entirely...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb View Post
I don’t know what to do.
Turn the matter over to Jesus -- if He can't do anything, no one can.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb View Post
It is really unfair. Yes, to be sure Iwas absent while serving my time in jail, but the kids know how to do their chores and where the food is. Little del has been to a Landover Camp ™ and he knows how to handle a gun. So does his older brother. They were never in any danger of starving to death.
Well this just smacks of oppression and persecution. If your children had firearms in the house, then the government had no right to come and get them -- they had a souce of protection, food and security that very few children have today. Tell me, how did the US Marshalls get in to take them if they were so well-stocked? Were you making payments on the ammunition?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb View Post
I beseech you good people from to intervinve and adopy my children as foster carers so that they don’t go to Hell. I have worked so hard under so much adversity to raise them right.
Well I can see that you have strived to bring your children up in a Godly manner, by sending them to Godly Camp™ and teaching them shoot and such. However, since you were in prison and were likely someone's anal-buddy, then you're probably a homer now and I don't think we can allow your children back We might be able to set up visitation rights though, if your tithing status were cleaned up....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb View Post
Please, do whay you can to keep them out of lesbians and gays.
Well, actually, we will do our best to keep the lesbeans and gays out of them....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb View Post
Don’t let my little ones think that it’s ok to have two dads or moms! Please help me. I can’t sleep at night thinking my young ones aren’t reading the Bible every day because they are in a state sponsered building where people aren’t allowed to think about Jesus and God.
Trust me, this scares us just as much as you. We will do our best to track down these little ones and return them to God. What they've learned is nothing we can't unlearn with a 6-month wilderness expedition with a Bible and a gun

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb View Post
I cry myself to sleep thinking about what has happened, but I awkae smiling knowing the Lord has a plan. I am but a little ant in the field to question his almightness,
Crying is for fags.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb View Post
I was put in jail by the facist left wing government that controls the USA. Yes, Hitler, Staklin, Chairmin Mow, all left wingers and still in control of the world!
You are correct sir -- the Illuminati (aka Democrats) are taking over the world. It is up to us as the last remaining Christians before the Rapture to save as many as we can!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb View Post
Well anyway, I must confess some guilt.
Well obviously you didn't love Jesus enough to keep you out of jail, like Scooter Libby.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb View Post
I did return to the bottle. I went to the lamplighters blounge and I had quite a few. It was the fault of a queer. I could tell he was queer because he was drinking winesprinklers. No real man drinks them. I hunored him and wanted to know more about this terror cell, so i tried to keep up. But he must have sleeped me a mickey because I soon lost comtrol.
You'd best leave the homer-detection work to an expert like Pastor Zeke or myself. We've spent a great deal of time working with their kind and know the ins and outs of their movement. It is very easy to succumb to their sultry glances and soft touches -- it takes a great man of God to resist!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne DeKalb View Post
Well, I got in my Ford F-150 (True Christians™ drive F-250s) and headed home and got my Bible. I returned to the bar and I began reading Leviticus in a Lordly tone of voice. I didn’t let up until dragged away by the left wing facist atheist conspiracy that rules the USA. These are the same peole who have the soles ofg my dear children in their hands. Please help me and be foster parents to my children. Send me a pm or to any senior Pastor for information and také my children into a God fearing home until I get on my feet again.
We will do what we can. In the meantime, stay away from the gay bars. You'll never know what or who you'll find there.


Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
eliot mayfield's Avatar
eliot mayfield eliot mayfield is offline
God Squad
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 3rd class Tin Tither Ribfest '06 Public Awareness Medal Saved 5 Years Long service medal, 2nd class Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Friend of Jesus Tell her once Flat Earth Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Save my Children - 08-24-2007, 09:04 AM

Is this the place you went to?


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


http://www.shangrala.org/Pictures/Christ%20Michael.jpg
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved