Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 02:49 PM
As some of you know, I am an owner of a mini-market. Inevitably, lots of people have passed here. Unofortunately, many people are sinners, and sometimes, even fags dare to enter! Though I kick them out as soon as possible, I am afraid some demons might have taken the opportunity to enter the mini-market. This is a very serious issue, as they could harm my family. It is very well protected, but I am afraid it is not enough. Can you give me some ideas?
Leviticus 18:22 Romans 1:24-27 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 Jude 1:7
Here is proof that homosexuality is indeed a sin, for all those out there saying otherwise. Got a problem with it? Romans 9:20
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 04:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Allen
As some of you know, I am an owner of a mini-market. Inevitably, lots of people have passed here. Unofortunately, many people are sinners, and sometimes, even fags dare to enter! Though I kick them out as soon as possible, I am afraid some demons might have taken the opportunity to enter the mini-market. This is a very serious issue, as they could harm my family. It is very well protected, but I am afraid it is not enough. Can you give me some ideas?
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He is very expensive, but Pastor Zeke can clean out the most persistent demons. He is know all over the country.
For yourself, meeting the public all day which will invariably include some homers, I'd advise wearing the magic necklace Pat Robertson sells. We may market in here at LBC eventually.
All the best in your business endeavor.
http://www.newslo.com/pat-robertson-...ling-necklace/
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 04:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
He is very expensive, but Pastor Zeke can clean out the most persistent demons. He is know all over the country.
For yourself, meeting the public all day which will invariably include some homers, I'd advise wearing the magic necklace Pat Robertson sells. We may market in here at LBC eventually.
All the best in your business endeavor.
http://www.newslo.com/pat-robertson-...ling-necklace/
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Thanks, Mr. Hold. I will get the necklace as soon as possible. Thankfully, most demons were not very persistent and got away with an exorcism, but they still pose a threat for the Allen family. Imagine one of my sons becoming homers! Do you know if a necklace kept somewhere in the mini-market will have an effect?
Leviticus 18:22 Romans 1:24-27 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 Jude 1:7
Here is proof that homosexuality is indeed a sin, for all those out there saying otherwise. Got a problem with it? Romans 9:20
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 06:30 PM
If they're gay demons they're probably already 'out'.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 06:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
If they're gay demons they're probably already 'out'.
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A very valid point, Mr. King
Leviticus 18:22 Romans 1:24-27 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 Jude 1:7
Here is proof that homosexuality is indeed a sin, for all those out there saying otherwise. Got a problem with it? Romans 9:20
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 08:33 PM
Maybe this is too philosophical a point for my meager training in Bible studies, but are there demons that aren't flaming homos?
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 10:49 PM
Probably not. Homosexuality is an abomination (Leviticus 18:22), so demons must have it in them. They are evil after all.
Leviticus 18:22 Romans 1:24-27 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 Jude 1:7
Here is proof that homosexuality is indeed a sin, for all those out there saying otherwise. Got a problem with it? Romans 9:20
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 11:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow
Maybe this is too philosophical a point for my meager training in Bible studies, but are there demons that aren't flaming homos?
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I guess they're into upsetting GOD anyway they can, so they can be "straight" just to prick HIM (I'm thinking about Genesis 6:2).
PRAISE THE LORD!
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 11:09 PM
Perhaps they're pansexual. (Attracted to everything)
Leviticus 18:22 Romans 1:24-27 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 Jude 1:7
Here is proof that homosexuality is indeed a sin, for all those out there saying otherwise. Got a problem with it? Romans 9:20
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 11:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Allen
Perhaps they're pansexual. (Attracted to everything)
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Just to spite GOD, HE wanted them chaste!
Matthew 22:30
For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.
But GOD took care of them.
II Peter 2:4
For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved unto judgment;
PRAISE THE LORD!
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 11:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by see_the_light
Just to spite GOD, HE wanted them chaste!
Matthew 22:30
For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.
But GOD took care of them.
II Peter 2:4
For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved unto judgment;
PRAISE THE LORD!
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No matter what a demon's nature is, it will always cause harm. (And potentially make peopke homers) But brother, how could demons exit Hell?
Leviticus 18:22 Romans 1:24-27 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 Jude 1:7
Here is proof that homosexuality is indeed a sin, for all those out there saying otherwise. Got a problem with it? Romans 9:20
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 11:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Allen
Perhaps they're pansexual. (Attracted to everything)
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I'm a bit confused by this. As indeed there are only two sexes, man and woman, would not the term for this be bi-sexual? Or is this some deviance far more foul than homosexuality in which the person lusts after sheep, squid, knotholes, sandpaper, oysters, plastic bags, telephone poles, Mexicans, etc?
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 11:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Des
I'm a bit confused by this. As indeed there are only two sexes, man and woman, would not the term for this be bi-sexual? Or is this some deviance far more foul than homosexuality in which the person lusts after sheep, squid, knotholes, sandpaper, oysters, plastic bags, telephone poles, Mexicans, etc?
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Don't forget children and corpses. And they are all sex addicts too. If I had a day, I could not list all the verses that damn this sexuality.
Leviticus 18:22 Romans 1:24-27 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 Jude 1:7
Here is proof that homosexuality is indeed a sin, for all those out there saying otherwise. Got a problem with it? Romans 9:20
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 11:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Allen
No matter what a demon's nature is, it will always cause harm. (And potentially make peopke homers) But brother, how could demons exit Hell?
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Only some mentioned in Genesis are stuck there, others ...
Revelation12:9
And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.
They just use hell for R&R... for the time being.
PRAISE THE LORD!
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-28-2014, 11:40 PM
They will be punished when the Rapture hapens, along with the sinners then. That is a fitting fate for such abominable beings.
Leviticus 18:22 Romans 1:24-27 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 Jude 1:7
Here is proof that homosexuality is indeed a sin, for all those out there saying otherwise. Got a problem with it? Romans 9:20
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-29-2014, 12:13 AM
Pastor Zeke is always the best option for cleaning out demons. However, he has a very busy schedule, so it may be a while until you can get an appointment. For now, I would suggest keeping a large container of water at your mini-market and dousing every customer with water from the container. This will baptise them against their will and so any demons they possess will be fought against by Jesus.
Hope this helps and God Bless,
MT.
Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-29-2014, 02:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Allen
Perhaps they're pansexual. (Attracted to everything)
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You mean they want to have sex with cooking utensils?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-29-2014, 02:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Allen
As some of you know, I am an owner of a mini-market. Inevitably, lots of people have passed here. Unofortunately, many people are sinners, and sometimes, even fags dare to enter! Though I kick them out as soon as possible, I am afraid some demons might have taken the opportunity to enter the mini-market. This is a very serious issue, as they could harm my family. It is very well protected, but I am afraid it is not enough. Can you give me some ideas?
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I believe that a strong heart, faith in Jesus and a stout cudgel will carry you through almost any situation.
Just as you do not fear to trust in Jesus and just as your strong heart provides faith to banish your physical fear, do not fear to use the cudgel. Use it frequently and you will have good results.
This is my advice.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-29-2014, 12:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss
I believe that a strong heart, faith in Jesus and a stout cudgel will carry you through almost any situation.
Just as you do not fear to trust in Jesus and just as your strong heart provides faith to banish your physical fear, do not fear to use the cudgel. Use it frequently and you will have good results.
This is my advice.
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Thanks, I will remember your advice, and everyone else's
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
You mean they want to have sex with cooking utensils?
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Upon occasion. Their perversion really stops nowhere. They will always find something new to unleash their perversion upon.
Leviticus 18:22 Romans 1:24-27 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 Jude 1:7
Here is proof that homosexuality is indeed a sin, for all those out there saying otherwise. Got a problem with it? Romans 9:20
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Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons? -
05-30-2014, 03:47 AM
Unfortunately convenience stores are magnets for these deviants.
The evidence is there my friends. Most of the bathrooms are without a doubt, routinely defiled by multiple exploding rectums.
Additionally, most quick marts around here are called QT or Sphinx- certainly homogay references.
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)
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