Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
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Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-03-2012, 10:35 PM
I think i am going to buy a shock collar for my wife.
I found a nice one with a control unit. It works from far distances.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-04-2012, 12:14 AM
If you buy a woman something that expensive, she is bound to get notions. The last thing you want is her forgetting her place.
If she is trained up right with the Rod, then there should be no need for such extremes. If she really needs a shock collar, you have worse things to worry about than her running away. What about her immortal soul?
You need to reach out to your wife and communicate in a way that is simple, so she can understand. You need to let her know that you have sight of the lode star, and the wheel is under your control. This will ease her silly mind. Tie her up by the thumb, and put a spike under her foot. She will be so worried about whether to rest her weight on the thumb, or the foot, it will clear out her mind. Then, when you let her down in a few days, she will be the empty vessel that you always wanted. It will make her teachable.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-04-2012, 12:20 AM
I use them on my 14 year old Indonesian houseboys sometimes. Especially when I'm breaking them in.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-04-2012, 12:46 AM
I have a couple of them. One remote can operate multiple collars. You just have to remember which button operates which collar. My little boys get so wide eyed when I bellow "When I said to move it, I mean JUMP!!!' then hit the button.
Sometimes I just hit a button at random to see the reaction in their faces. They act like retards with each press. Do not do it when they are bringing you a cold beverage or else it can be accidentally shaken.
A word to the wise. Pop-Rivet the collar ends together. Eventually the female is capable of figuring our how the buckle works and she may remove it on her own.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-04-2012, 01:30 AM
I'm not quite sure if it has enough power. Today's products are made that no one gets hurt. But sometimes there is a trick to get the full power out of these things.
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-04-2012, 04:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton
I think i am going to buy a shock collar for my wife.
I found a nice one with a control unit. It works from far distances.
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Brother, as Billy Bob has pointed out, if you need a shock collar for your wife, you are remiss in your husbandly duties.
How often do you apply the rod to her? Why does it continue to be necessary?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-04-2012, 04:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Brother, as Billy Bob has pointed out, if you need a shock collar for your wife, you are remiss in your husbandly duties.
How often do you apply the rod to her? Why does it continue to be necessary?
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Reverend, please pay attention. Titus is German. Okay?
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-04-2012, 04:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Reverend, please pay attention. Titus is German. Okay?
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OK . . . does that mean he's a weak husband?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-04-2012, 04:42 PM
If you're going to use a shock collar it's important to get an little hand-held clicking device. When you use the shock collar, you also make a click. That way when you need her to pay attention to you, you can eventually alternate between the two. The pain of the collar isn't what is going to make her behave, it's the anticipation of discipline.
For example, when you're in a restaurant you might want a discreet way to get her to shut up about all that housework crap. One click and she's paying attention to you, again.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-04-2012, 05:01 PM
When I lost my ex-wife Ethel to the flames of Hell, it was easier to process because I knew I had done everything I could. I made sure she had tasted those flames in her Earthly life. Any woman who doesn't worship her husband in accordance with the Book of Ephesians, doesn't really believe in God's Word and is therefore doomed. God has put the fear of Hell on our hearts so that we are incentivized to believe despite the sinful passions of reason and intellect. Anyway, God felt that fire was a better motivator than electricity for some reason. He never said that non-believers would experience eternal electrocution. Perhaps you should consider that, Titus.
I know it sounds like a lot of work, but as husbands we must be vigilant and dedicated to the salvation of our wives. Don't let modern gadgetry get in the way of your Christian duty.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,914
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-04-2012, 07:13 PM
I just have the package with the collars in my hand.
There was a offer that if i take three collars the third is half price.
I think i have to send my wife to the supermarket to buy batteries.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-04-2012, 07:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
OK . . . does that mean he's a weak husband?
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Look Rodimer, I know they can be pretty isolated in Indiana, but come on. I mean there is a reason why the street scenes in The Matrix were shot on location in Germany.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-04-2012, 08:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Look Rodimer, I know they can be pretty isolated in Indiana, but come on. I mean there is a reason why the street scenes in The Matrix were shot on location in Germany.
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Because they are welcoming to the film industry?
Anyway, I recall a man in my congregation once got a bark collar for his wife, because she was loud and very demanding. It got her attention, for sure! First time she yelled for him to get downstairs for breakfast before it got cold, she got quite the shock!
It was so sad, he never got to see how well it would have worked. Seems he fell down those stairs that very first day.
Poor Widow Helen. I must say she was very brave about the whole thing, didn't cry a tear at the funeral. She held it all in until the reading of the will, when she learned that her husband had split his estate between her and Second Baptist.
She just had no idea he was so generous.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-04-2012, 08:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Look Rodimer, I know they can be pretty isolated in Indiana, but come on. I mean there is a reason why the street scenes in The Matrix were shot on location in Germany.
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Well, I guess I can see that the Germans might have some "cultural" problems with wife training.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Ring-kissing Papist dog
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-05-2012, 02:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan
Well, I guess I can see that the Germans might have some "cultural" problems with wife training.
Attachment 19137
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It seems the German women are considerably slighter then their Baptwit counterparts in America but I imagine that to be the case everywhere but maybe Burkina Faso.
As per the topic of collars, I can assure you that a good fit and careful alignment are essential but we Catholics do not encourage putting any collar on a woman and this has worked out well for us since the day Jesus called upon St. Peter (as in the Cathedral) to be the rock He would build His (our) Church on!
There can be no surprise in hearing stories of Landrover 'brides' chaffing at the bit as it were considering they are usually missing half their teeth and all of their teen years.
Bless you, my large dairy air enthusiast,
Father Mo
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A Cardinal in the making.
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-05-2012, 03:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester
It seems the German women are considerably slighter then their Baptwit counterparts in America but I imagine that to be the case everywhere but maybe Burkina Faso.
. . .
There can be no surprise in hearing stories of Landrover 'brides' chaffing at the bit as it were considering they are usually missing half their teeth and all of their teen years.
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Daisy Mae is not going to like seeing what you said about her.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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True Christian™
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-05-2012, 07:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester
It seems the German women are considerably slighter then their Baptwit counterparts in America but I imagine that to be the case everywhere but maybe Burkina Faso.
As per the topic of collars, I can assure you that a good fit and careful alignment are essential but we Catholics do not encourage putting any collar on a woman and this has worked out well for us since the day Jesus called upon St. Peter (as in the Cathedral) to be the rock He would build His (our) Church on!
There can be no surprise in hearing stories of Landrover 'brides' chaffing at the bit as it were considering they are usually missing half their teeth and all of their teen years.
Bless you, my large dairy air enthusiast,
Father Mo
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Well, if it isn't the charming papist dropping by to dispense some gratuitous Vatican unction. In this context one surely has to recall the methods that the Roman Cathylicks used to deal with disobedience problems during the 600 years of what was known as the Inquisition – all started by a pope euphemistically called Innocent III. By all accounts it was a gentile frolic through the fields and meadows of Medieval times – surely more humane than an electric tickle afforded by a modern dog collar as a reminder of Jesus' Commandments.
Bless you too, my tiresome Gregorian chant.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
06-05-2012, 08:35 PM
What have I done wrong that a cathlic appears in my thread?
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Unsaved trash
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
08-08-2014, 09:06 PM
There is not much difference between a woman and a dog, so why not. You might have a good outcome. Unfortunately you can not buy shock collars in Denmark
Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.
Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death.
He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the Lord only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Has anyone of you experience with shock collars? -
08-09-2014, 12:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danish Crusader
There is not much difference between a woman and a dog, so why not. You might have a good outcome. Unfortunately you can not buy shock collars in Denmark
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That's because you live in a viking-run socialist gulag.
Try using the internets. You can order anything you like!
Please make a thread of your own in the " Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.
And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.
I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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