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  • MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

    Hi y'all, this time it's not a dating request for myself, but instead for my dear mother; Dutchie.

    That's her, in the centre.



    My mother has been there all my life, and I can say I really take after her; she is sweet, caring, fair and funny. A real handful sometimes, but what mother isn't? Mr. Hoaring isn't in the picture anymore after a rocky divorce, so I speak for mum when I say she's now looking for fun beyond retirement and maybe a little more.

    So come on, men! Who would like to butter my mother's muffin?

  • #2
    Re: MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

    "Meet Christian singles" is the title of this section. I have my doubts she qualifies.

    And, of course, we'd all like to know if her last name is "Whoring"?
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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    • #3
      Re: MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

      Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
      "Meet Christian singles" is the title of this section. I have my doubts she qualifies.

      And, of course, we'd all like to know if her last name is "Whoring"?

      No Johny, that's just the booby name you guys gave me. Her name is Dutchie (nee Fletchingooch) Hoaring

      And of course she's a Christian. Look at that sweet, blessed face. I would hate the thought of her ever being Hell; getting flayed and raped.

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      • #4
        Re: MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

        Originally posted by GaleWhoring View Post
        No Johny, that's just the booby name you guys gave me. Her name is Dutchie (nee Fletchingooch) Hoaring
        And of course she's a Christian. Look at that sweet, blessed face. I would hate the thought of her ever being Hell; getting flayed and raped.
        Before you and/or your mother invest too much in the effort to snare an older husband from Freehold you should be aware the preferences of older Christian gentlemen in our city. I've noticed our male senior citizens usually take on younger women.

        The exceptions are older ladies who are very wealthy. If your mother is wealthy that information should be passed along.
        Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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        • #5
          Re: MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

          If the one in "the center" is the brunette towards the back of the photo, behind the fat biker wearing gang colors, I'd be pleased to book a room at a hotel for a few hours so that we might get acquainted. Tell her I can pick her up from the airport and drop her off afterwards.
          If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

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          • #6
            Re: MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

            Originally posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
            If the one in "the center" is the brunette towards the back of the photo, behind the fat biker wearing gang colors, I'd be pleased to book a room at a hotel for a few hours so that we might get acquainted. Tell her I can pick her up from the airport and drop her off afterwards.
            Sorry Doc Toole, I don't know her. Besides, she couldn't possibly be my mother - in fact, I'm old enough to be her mother!

            And Johny, we come from modest means. She didn't come away with much from the divorce, but she does have a unique antique spoon collection that might be of interest.

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            • #7
              Re: MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

              Originally posted by GaleWhoring View Post
              Hi y'all, this time it's not a dating request for myself, but instead for my dear mother; Dutchie.

              That's her, in the centre.

              . . . .
              There is that old adage (probably from Oscar Wilde) - if you want to know what the daughter is eventually going to look like take a look at her mother.
              Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
              brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
              ...and get off my lawn
              sigpic

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              • #8
                Re: MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

                Originally posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
                There is that old adage (probably from Oscar Wilde) - if you want to know what the daughter is eventually going to look like take a look at her mother.
                You can also just look at my profile picture, Bill. Not too bad, eh?

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                • #9
                  Re: MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

                  Miss Gale, bless your heart! Maybe your mother will find a husband sooner if she repents of her ways, becomes a proper Christian woman and starts eating salads! My husband (God rest his soul) always said a man doesn't want a fat, sloppy wife. -Mrs. Elizabeth
                  "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

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                  • #10
                    Re: MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

                    Originally posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
                    Miss Gale, bless your heart! Maybe your mother will find a husband sooner if she repents of her ways, becomes a proper Christian woman and starts eating salads! My husband (God rest his soul) always said a man doesn't want a fat, sloppy wife. -Mrs. Elizabeth
                    Mrs. Johnson, I'm sure it's a saying you've been familiar with at some point, but for some - there's simply just more of them to love.

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                    • #11
                      Re: MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

                      Sorry gentlemen, I know there was a long line, but my mother has now wed. Say hello to Mrs. Dutchie Fletchingooch Force-Hoaring Beaumont, and her interesting new husband, Dingus.

                      As once mentioned, mother had previously been divorced by Mr. Hoaring, whom I also married afterward, and too divorced due to irreconcilable complications. I always keep an eye out for anyone interested! Meantime, wish my ma the best! She still has child-making capacity surprisingly, which should make some happy here, I think.

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                      • #12
                        Re: MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

                        Originally posted by GaleWhoring View Post
                        As once mentioned, mother had previously been divorced by Mr. Hoaring, whom I also married afterward, and too divorced due to irreconcilable complications.
                        Thank you for proving that all unsaved trash have no morals whatsoever, and showing that we True Christians(tm) are the only beacon of light and moral behavior.

                        Will you repent for your past sins and accept Jesus into your heart?
                        God created fossils to test our faith.

                        * * *

                        My favorite LBC sermons:
                        True Christians are Perfect!
                        True Christian™ Love.
                        Salvation™ made Easy!
                        You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                        Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                        Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                        Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                        Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                        The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                        Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                        God HATES Rational Thinking!
                        True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

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                        • #13
                          Re: MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

                          As long as I can still have fun, sure why not?

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                          • #14
                            Re: MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

                            Originally posted by GaleWhoring View Post
                            As long as I can still have fun, sure why not?
                            You shameless hussy! God clearly states that lust is not to be allowed and is a ticket straight to hell! He also speaks strongly against defiling the marital bed!
                            1 Corinthians 6:18 - Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

                            1 John 2:16 - For all that [is] in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

                            Romans 8:6 - For to be carnally minded [is] death; but to be spiritually minded [is] life and peace.

                            Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
                            Also, Ms. Gale, your shameless, hedonistic views are really ungodly! God wants you to focus on Him and doing His Divine Will, and not running around, self-pleasuring you. That is what sinful people and young children do (until they get the hedonism and satanism beaten out of them). You should focus on becoming a proper, Christian woman, for Jesus, can make a miracle, even out of you, so there is still hope and time!
                            2 Timothy 2:22 - Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

                            Proverbs 21:17 - He that loveth pleasure [shall be] a poor man: he that loveth wine and oil shall not be rich.

                            Luke 8:14 - And that which fell among thorns are they, which, when they have heard, go forth, and are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of [this] life, and bring no fruit to perfection.

                            Romans 12:1 - I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, [which is] your reasonable service.

                            I'm praying for you dear! -Mrs. Elizabeth
                            "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: MAN WANTED: Who would like to meet my mother?

                              Originally posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
                              You shameless hussy! God clearly states that lust is not to be allowed and is a ticket straight to hell! He also speaks strongly against defiling the marital bed!
                              1 Corinthians 6:18 - Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

                              1 John 2:16 - For all that [is] in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

                              Romans 8:6 - For to be carnally minded [is] death; but to be spiritually minded [is] life and peace.

                              Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.


                              Well then there is something seriously messed up with the Good Book if it claims that marriage is the end all to everything. I've grown wise to marriage ever since my father, Mr. Hoaring laid his hands on me when I was just a confused gal, and manipulated me into awful marriage, with him, my own father! Where was God when that happened? And the marriage court in my state did nothing to stop it either. So, I'm sorry if I'm not gun-ho for marriage quite just yet, but we all have our skeletons, and I'm just starting to live life and move on.
                              Originally posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
                              Also, Ms. Gale, your shameless, hedonistic views are really ungodly! God wants you to focus on Him and doing His Divine Will, and not running around, self-pleasuring you. That is what sinful people and young children do (until they get the hedonism and satanism beaten out of them). You should focus on becoming a proper, Christian woman, for Jesus, can make a miracle, even out of you, so there is still hope and time!
                              I do my best, I've been devoted to the Catholic faith much of my life, though often I do question why, given the circumstances of molestation I previously elaborated. Again, where was God?

                              Maybe you aren't aware, but I have a new beau now, J-Tyrone, and maybe this is the miracle that God is giving me, after the series of unfortunate events He put me through prior. Maybe I will marry J-T, maybe we will have a bunch of beautiful, healthy children (which is doubtful as I'm in my 60's and quite past my child-bearing years, but you never know.). It's up to us and time will tell.


                              Proverbs 21:17 - He that loveth pleasure [shall be] a poor man: he that loveth wine and oil shall not be rich.



                              Well, it's a good thing I'm not a man!

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