MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part. |
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-26-2007, 10:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Dear Kiki,
It is well known that Atheist, especially the men, are hard core perverts. All serial rapist killers have all ben atheists. Doubtless he is waiting until you are in too deep before his true nature comes out. When he starts asking for you to put on a chicken costume it will be too late! Run now. Doubtless right now he is polluting himself on the internets to some disturbing fantasy about women getting their cars stuck in the mud while playing with his surgical knife collection or something like it.
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wow, If I was ever scared to be by myself for the rest of my life, you sure cured that. I think I'll remain single. As of now he is just a friend,though.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-26-2007, 10:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
Why of course Pastor.
BUT I would need a Godly man to brandish a Chopper whilst chasing me around the Bedroom.
Can you suggest someone to do such a thing?
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Hmm, we have to be careful about this , we don’t to get a sicko involved in this by mistake. I suppose I’ll have to do it.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-26-2007, 10:47 PM
I just had an awful thought!
Deuteronomy 4:
16 Lest ye corrupt yourselves, and make you a graven image, the similitude of any figure, the likeness of male or female, The likeness of any beast that is on the earth, the likeness of any winged fowl that flieth in the air,
Chickens don't really fly very far.............. do they??
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Professor of English Landover University
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,501
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ministering to the Liebral Godless of New Zealand
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-27-2007, 09:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
I just had an awful thought!
Deuteronomy 4:
16 Lest ye corrupt yourselves, and make you a graven image, the similitude of any figure, the likeness of male or female, The likeness of any beast that is on the earth, the likeness of any winged fowl that flieth in the air,
Chickens don't really fly very far.............. do they??
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As I recall they usually have their wings clipped, so they can't. Unclipped, I don't know what they might be able to do. I can't imagine them soaring through the air like eagles or anything like that though...
Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-27-2007, 09:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Hmm, we have to be careful about this , we don’t to get a sicko involved in this by mistake. I suppose I’ll have to do it.
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Why thank you Pastor. I'd hate to think I may be defiled by some Atheist Prevert Monkey Worshipper brandishing his unclean Chopper. Will you be bringing your own?
I'll make some room available at the Mansion.
Perhaps we could send some Pictures to Kiki? Make her realise how kind and considerate our Pastors are?
Oh, Pastor Eno, thank you for the Biblical advice. Silly me, I should have also realised that the costume isn't a "Graven Image".
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Unsaved Trash, filthy sodomite
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Posts: 158
Join Date: Sep 2006
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04-27-2007, 12:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee
Warrior, your coming here has stirred up the piety among our True Christian™ sisters -- And I'm wondering if this isn't the time to re-introduce Friday night girl-on-girl liturgical wrestling. Friday night matches used to be a regular part of our weekly worship services, but after Moon smacked the cubits out of Mrs. Rogers, we had some trouble finding a suitable challenger for Moon's crown, and the Lord suggested that we should put the Wrestling Ministry on hold, while He directed us in other areas. But I think I hear His voice STRONGLY commanding us to schedule a match for this Friday evening, starting at 7 pm in Fellowship Hall, between the wrestlin angel, herself, Sister Talitha and the bodaciously blessed, BTB. It'll be a holy event. Warrior, if you've never before witnessed the power of girl-on-girl liturgical wrestling, then you're in for a blessing from the Lord.
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Is this event open to the unsaved Brother Larry? Would it not be a good way to bring the Lord's blessings to outsiders? I could bring a few friends who'd pay a buck or two to get in. As long as I get a free ticket myself. I'll personally guarantee that none of them will try to steal baptist babies from the parking lot.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kikirnw
wow, If I was ever scared to be by myself for the rest of my life, you sure cured that. I think I'll remain single. As of now he is just a friend,though.
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Take no notice of Bobby-Joe, Kiki. He is grossly exaggerating. I guarantee you that few athiests or secular huminists are serial killers. That silly story about the baptist baby was all blown out of proportion too. You are in much more danger from the bapwits or witches like Rachael and Alie. Bobby-Joe is just jealous because our chicken suits are flasher than his.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
FYI; all True Christian™ men are as studly as Brother WIC. If you accept Jesus as your personal Savior, you will have access to such Masculine Manliness, just as I do.
Also, if you act now, you may qualify for a free Playstation 3!
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Do you? You have access to a lot of Masculine Manliness? Are you sure that is what you really meant to say, Pastor Zeke?
Quote:
Originally Posted by kikirnw
He is a good wealthy heathen atheist who wants me for more than my body. He accepts me for me and enjoys my point of views on all things, and no I have not had um.....done anything a woman shouldn't.
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"You haven't done anything a woman shouldn't", I wonder if he sees it the same way? Take no notice of these xians. I have it on good authority that most of their avatars aren't of them anyway. In reality the lot of them look like that old fool Enobarbus's avatar. Ugly as hell.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
Why thank you Pastor. I'd hate to think I may be defiled by some Atheist Prevert Monkey Worshipper brandishing his unclean Chopper.
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If you really look anything like your new avatar it's a distinct possibility. Do you still have your school uniform?
Last edited by OnYourKnees; 04-27-2007 at 09:45 PM.
Reason: Merged posts
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-27-2007, 12:53 PM
You filthy hippie! Have you ever heard of spam? You are about to get a whole pile of infractions for forcing your imbecility on this Godly forum.
Go take a bath, get a haircut and get a job. Or better yet go join the Army and they'll take care of all three, plus give you a chance to stop wasting oxygen.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-27-2007, 12:57 PM
(I want in on this....)
I still have my Home-school uniform! It is below knee-length, as is Proper, and has a huge, Church-Approved lace collar!
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-27-2007, 01:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hairy Homer
If you really look anything like your new avatar it's a distinct possibility. Do you still have your school uniform?
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Well, Waddya know, the Hairy Homer trying to Hit on a True Christian™ Lady.
Listen Flea Bait, come more than 100yards near to me and I'll have my Security take you out as a Terrorist.
Go Get a wash, Get straight and Get with The Lord.
I may consider Saving you too.
............. and yes, I do still have my School Uniform.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-27-2007, 03:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
Why thank you Pastor. I'd hate to think I may be defiled by some Atheist Prevert Monkey Worshipper brandishing his unclean Chopper. Will you be bringing your own?
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Sadly I don't, the last one got rusty and with all the false accusations flying around I don't need people misinterpreting rust. So on the advance of my lawyer I destroyed by old one. However it is easy enough buy a new one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
I'll make some room available at the Mansion.
Perhaps we could send some Pictures to Kiki? Make her realise how kind and considerate our Pastors are?
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Excellent thought. Maybe this will help Kiki see the depravity innate in all atheists and open herself deepest parts to HIM.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Unsaved Trash, filthy sodomite
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Posts: 158
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-27-2007, 09:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV
(I want in on this....)
I still have my Home-school uniform! It is below knee-length, as is Proper, and has a huge, Church-Approved lace collar!
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Excellent! Just the ticket! I can pick uniforms of any type from the local drama society who hires them our. One of my favourites is a Rasputin costume. Have you ever played the game: Me Rasputin; you Queen?
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Unsaved Trash, filthy sodomite
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Posts: 158
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-27-2007, 09:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
Well, Waddya know, the Hairy Homer trying to Hit on a True Christian™ Lady.
Listen Flea Bait, come more than 100yards near to me and I'll have my Security take you out as a Terrorist.
Go Get a wash, Get straight and Get with The Lord.
I may consider Saving you too.
............. and yes, I do still have my School Uniform.
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I see sister, I see. I can read between the lines. You have a recurring fantasy of being a schoolgirl abducted by handsome terroists!
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On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-27-2007, 09:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hairy Homer
I see sister, I see. I can read between the lines. You have a recurring fantasy of being a schoolgirl abducted by handsome terroists!
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What part would you play in that fantasy, exactly?
The homeless man who witnesses the event?
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian™ Woman -
04-27-2007, 09:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hairy Homer
I see sister, I see. I can read between the lines. You have a recurring fantasy of being a schoolgirl abducted by handsome terroists!
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I have no need of your irrational fantasies Homer.
The only thing Terrorists are good for is target practise in preparation for this years Wiccan Hunt.
The only thing Homers are good for is target practise in preparation for this years Wiccan Hunt.
I'll give you a 30 second head start as a gesture of True Christian™ Goodwill.
I suggest you start running.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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