HOME WELCOME! FORUMS Register FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read
Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Promise Enforcers - Men Only!
Reload this Page Is impregnating your wife with a turkey baster sinful?
Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

View Poll Results: Is it sinful to use a turkey baster to impregnate your wife
Of course not - provided no seed was spilled. 7 87.50%
Yes it is - I'm jealous I didn't think of it. 1 12.50%
Voters: 8. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
Page 2 of 2 1 2
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#21)
Old
Callisto's Avatar
Callisto Callisto is offline
WARNING: Canuckistani feminazi! Approach with caution!
Forum Member

Bleeding heart liebral Uppity Woman/Enabler Atheist

 
Posts: 174
Join Date: Oct 2008
Callisto is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Callisto is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Callisto is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Callisto is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Is impregnating your wife with a turkey baster sinful? - 12-29-2014, 09:21 PM
Here's how you should do it so you don't have to perform a gay handjob on yourself.

Go down to the nearest truck stop, and look for a "Glory to God" hole in the restroom. Put your tallywhacker in the hole where someone will then milk your precious seed for you. Have them place the precious seed in the turkey baster for you, and voila! What you don't know won't kill you or send you to eternal hell!
Reply With Quote
(#22)
Old
alooneymormon's Avatar
alooneymormon alooneymormon is offline
Unsaved trash, avowed godmocker
 

How dumb can you get?

 
Posts: 187
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: New York
alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Is impregnating your wife with a turkey baster sinful? - 12-29-2014, 09:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
Now Cathlick priests recognise that the nearer to God one is, the less driven by base instincts a man is. And hence their vow of celibacy. But therein lies their big problem. They are not close to God despite what they may think. In fact they couldn't be much further from God. And hence their interests in small boys.

Is it starting to make sense now, Mr Looney mormon?
Well, kind of....
But just to be fair, despite the name that was given to me in this forum, I attended 12 years of Catholic school. Not all of them were interested in young boys. It only happened to me once.......

Mark 13:22
“For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.”
Reply With Quote
(#23)
Old
Joanna Lytton-Vasey's Avatar
Joanna Lytton-Vasey Joanna Lytton-Vasey is offline
True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
 

Christian Love Heaven Bound Most Obedient True Christian Lady True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Kirk Cameron Fan Club Touched by Jesus Quiverful Cleanest Kitchen Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls One Year/1000 posts The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Grammar Nazi Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Mission to Messico Hands Off Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award In Love With Zeke Pro-Life Ex-eurotrash Persecuted Stamp of Approval Mower Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Crown of Incorruptibility God's chosen ones Anti-Biden True Christian Beauty Midget porn survivor Crown of Rejoicing

 
Posts: 8,772
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is impregnating your wife with a turkey baster sinful? - 12-29-2014, 10:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by alooneymormon View Post
I attended 12 years of Catholic school. Not all of them were interested in young boys. It only happened to me once.......
Only? ONLY??? And once was all it took, it seems.

Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
Reply With Quote
(#24)
Old
Didymus Much's Avatar
Didymus Much Didymus Much is offline
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
 

Hellbound Heathen Atheist Cancer on Society hippie Caution - Poster is Crazy Evilution Perv Baggie Condemned Reaper Evil Grammar Nazi Democrat Commmmmunnissss How dumb can you get? Five years in the service of the Enemy Beastiality Barney Caution - Poster is on Drugs Demonized Bleeding heart liebral Glutton Drunk Devil Rides the Short Bus Fiddler Potty mouth Retard Posting Philistine skull Pot Head Swiss Skull Sinner Devil's Trill Sonata Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Mower Pastor Ezekiel Prize for Unprecedented Retards Marxist Fake Polling The AIDS Confused about midget porn F1 for Satan

 
Posts: 14,454
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Is impregnating your wife with a turkey baster sinful? - 12-29-2014, 10:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by alooneymormon View Post
...Not all of them were interested in this young boy....
FTFY.

Quote:
...It only happened to me once...
So you're kinda ugly, then? Jesus doesn't care about that.

Reply With Quote
(#25)
Old
Faith_Machine's Avatar
Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Republican The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Ex-liberal Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Tell her once Guns, Guts and GLORY! Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Tagging for Jesus Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Touched by Jesus 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Korea Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Sheep Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Chili Chemtrail

 
Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is impregnating your wife with a turkey baster sinful? - 12-30-2014, 09:40 PM
Oh my goodness!

WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
Reply With Quote
(#26)
Old
alooneymormon's Avatar
alooneymormon alooneymormon is offline
Unsaved trash, avowed godmocker
 

How dumb can you get?

 
Posts: 187
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: New York
alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.alooneymormon is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Is impregnating your wife with a turkey baster sinful? - 12-30-2014, 11:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
FTFY.



So you're kinda ugly, then? Jesus doesn't care about that.
To clarify-- I said it happened only once... regardless of how many times they tried. Oh, and Didymus?....I was voted St Helenas "Best Looking Guy" in both junior and senior year....

Mark 13:22
“For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.”
Reply With Quote
(#27)
Old
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork Kirk Cameron Fan Club Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016!

 
Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is impregnating your wife with a turkey baster sinful? - 12-31-2014, 03:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by alooneymormon View Post
To clarify-- I said it happened only once... regardless of how many times they tried. Oh, and Didymus?....I was voted St Helenas "Best Looking Guy" in both junior and senior year....
Are you actually bragging about being Priest-bait? Sounds like you were asking for it!
Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 2 of 2 1 2

Bookmarks

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
Thread Tools
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved

Send an email to the Senior Pastor - Landover Baptist Church - Top