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Smile Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 08-31-2007, 02:40 PM

In honor of Paris Hilton's conversion to Christianity (see footnote), this year the gold, silver, bronze, and first runner-up prize for the Sunday School labor-day essay contest ("How the estate tax persecutes America's hard-working heirs") will be this $270 hot pink calfskin Bible.


Don't expect to be the next First Lady of the USA without it!

(The prize for winning boys will be the usual selection of sidearms).

Footnote: Proof of Paris Hilton's conversion to Christianity:



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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 08-31-2007, 03:03 PM

That is gooooooorgeous Brother Jeb!

I want one! As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to order one for all the Ladies of Landover for Christmas presents.

No well dressed True Christian gal should be without one. I bet Betty Bower's already has one.

Thank you for posting it!

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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 08-31-2007, 08:31 PM

Oooooooh that is so beautiful! I want one those pink Bibles too!



1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-01-2007, 12:20 AM

This is pathetic. You're turning your own religion into a market? You people are...
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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-01-2007, 01:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poison__x View Post


This is pathetic. You're turning your own religion into a market? You people are ...
Oh really? ... and what about that homer-pink writing of yours, Poison?

... don't think Jesus will approve, noddy


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-01-2007, 01:15 AM

I'm not selling my pink words And I don't care what Jesus thi... oh wait, he can't think, he's been dead for 2k years!
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Trent Harvey, Jr. Trent Harvey, Jr. is offline
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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-01-2007, 06:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poison__x View Post
I'm not selling my pink words

Only because nobody will pay a penny for your thoughts, ever. If or when you have a thought, anyway.


And I don't care what Jesus thi... oh wait, he can't think, he's been dead for 2k years!
He was dead 3 days, not 2, and by the way 2k means 2000, which doesn't even make any sense.

You said you were here to debate us, and we let you in. Now you've betrayed your promise by explicitly stating that you don't care what we think.

If only you were in Iraq. Over here we know how to deal with people who try to sneak into the Green Zone under false premises. And this forum, friend, is GOD'S GREEN ZONE

In short: Either learn to state your case in an adult manner or get ready to be banned by the first moderator to come along.


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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-01-2007, 08:40 AM

I meant 2000, and it makes perfect sense. And I'm sorry for sounding rude, it's just that I'm getting irritated with you, as you are probably irritated with me.

And please, don't get me started about Iraq.
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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-01-2007, 08:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poison__x View Post

And please, don't get me started about Iraq.
Your words speak volumes, even though you are a hellbound goth and God hates you, you still support the surge and our troops. The Republican Party thanks you.
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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-01-2007, 09:08 AM

I support our troops highly now that we're in Iraq, although it would have been better if they had not had to have gone there in the first place
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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-01-2007, 09:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poison__x View Post


I support our troops highly now that we're in Iraq ...
Well gosh, finally there is some common ground we can share, so maybe it's best to stop right there ...

... hopefully, noddy


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-01-2007, 11:24 AM

I can't tell you how proud we are of our very own Sister Virginia Templeton and her husband, Mr. Gary Templeton, for donating the Bibles at cost plus 3% for the prizes.
Their store, Biblepalooza, has become my husband, Mr. Whitford, and my favorite Bible store in Freehold! The friendly staff is always there to greet you with a smile and some good, solid witnessing, and their prices can't be beat!


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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-03-2007, 06:03 PM

PROOF that Parris has become a TRUE Christian.
Everyone knows that only God fearing True Christian believers like NASCAR.
http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2007/...ghts-on-denny/


Dale, on the left coast for all the RIGHT reasons......
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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-04-2007, 05:40 AM

Everyone else also knows that without a doubt, NASCAR is THE MOST BORING "sport" ever.
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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-04-2007, 06:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poison__x View Post
Everyone else also knows that without a doubt, NASCAR is THE MOST BORING "sport" ever.
True Christians™ don't marry for excitment. We choose our mates based on useful skills: like fast driving, excellent tailgating skills, and intelligence, proven by how NASCAR drivers only mention God and praying when they win, and not when they lose.

What's your idea of a good sport, count drag-ula?


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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-04-2007, 09:24 PM

At night when I close my eyes, I see woman of my dreams, with a pink designer handbag, her pink accessory Bible, and her matching tazer. She will teach the Bible to our many children, and if they daydream or sass talk, her tazer-draw will be the fastest in the west.




So how about that? A special pink bible, pink tazer 2-for-one deal? Make my dreams come true...


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Goal:
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True Christians™ believe they they exist to serve the Bible-revealed will of God.
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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-04-2007, 11:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
True Christians™ don't marry for excitment. We choose our mates based on useful skills: like fast driving, excellent tailgating skills, and intelligence, proven by how NASCAR drivers only mention God and praying when they win, and not when they lose.

What's your idea of a good sport, count drag-ula?
Football (soccer) is an amazing sport. It requires a ton of concentration, training, and precise execution.
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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-04-2007, 11:46 PM

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Originally Posted by Poison__x View Post
Football (soccer) is an amazing sport. It requires a ton of concentration, training, and precise execution.
Football is a Godly American sport.

Soccer is for eurotrash fags.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Wash O'Hanley Wash O'Hanley is offline
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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-05-2007, 12:00 AM

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Originally Posted by Poison__x View Post
Football (soccer) is an amazing sport. It requires a ton of concentration, training, and precise execution.
If I wanted to watch a bunch of half-naked Eurotrash kick a rubber ball around I would go to a Swedish live sex show- at least the seats wouldn't be so sticky.
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Default Re: Get your "Paris Hilton" pink accessory Bible! - 09-05-2007, 01:24 AM

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Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. View Post
At night when I close my eyes, I see woman of my dreams, with a pink designer handbag, her pink accessory Bible, and her matching tazer. She will teach the Bible to our many children, and if they daydream or sass talk, her tazer-draw will be the fastest in the west.




So how about that? A special pink bible, pink tazer 2-for-one deal? Make my dreams come true...
Brother Trent, I think living in the safety and luxury of Baghdad has spoiled you! A tazer? Sure, if she wants to give some junkie hopped up on goofballs an electric tickle, or maybe it's good if the Iraqi poolboys momentarily forget their place. However, once you're back here in the Godly United States, you'll find the land crawling with lieberals, Demoncrats, nigras, feminazis, witches, and the Hellyweird elite!
It may not come in pretty colors, but I personally carry an anodized gray Beretta 3032 Tomcat Inox and it works plenty good!
I know some crybaby lieberals are whining over that incident last month with the Hughes' Mexican't gardener, but how was I supposed to know he was returning our "borrowed" lawnmower? The district attorney here in Freehold found that I had just cause in suspecting that he was stealing it and acted in a reasonable manner, so no charges were pressed, and I've apologized to the Hughes family for making them go through the inconvenience of finding a new gardener.
The upside is that the filthy papist already had 3 children and another on the way. If he was only tazered, who knows how many more brats he would sire to grow up and suck on the welfare treat or join Mexican't gangs and steal from good, honest, God-fearing folk?

Oh dear! I'm sorry if I'm babbling! Some Joo lawyer, probably from the ACLJoo, served me with a summons today. The gardener's family is suing me for "wrongful death" now. If they thought it was so wrongful, they wouldn't have been born as lazy, thieving Mexican'ts! What are they crying about? I gave them $50 and one-way tickets back to Mexico! Greedy and selfish, that's what they are. I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I do envy your easy life in Baghdad, with so few worries and none of these horrible troubles to weigh on you.


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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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