Brothers and sisters, as you all heard me announce last Sunday in church, the notorious atheist thug Christopher Hitchens
has been stricken by Jesus with throat cancer. I praise Jesus for this, as I know you all do as well. His will be done
I think it is particularly appropriate that Jesus has chosen to strike Mr. Hitchen's voice box, as it has been the atheist's main weapon in convincing people to worship satan. This particular atheist has spent years giving lectures
and writing thick books espousing the typical hatred that atheists espouse, and so he has a lot to answer to Jesus for. If he follows his chosen path, he will certainly be hurled down into the deepest abyss of hell
, there to be tortured in unspeakable painful ways for all eternity. One can only imagine
But friends, I have been touched by this miserable, obese, alcoholic foreign godmocker's plight. As America's leading True Christian™ Pastor, I feel it is my Christian duty to do everything I can to get this angry sinner Saved and sent to Heaven. Yes I do.
Therefore, I am calling on all my Prayer Warriors to start Praying today to CONVERT CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS FOR CHRIST and that he be WASHED CLEAN OF SIN IN JESUS' SWEET, SWEET BLOOD. I'm ordering round the clock Prayer on this one, because the demons he worships are strong. Use whatever it takes, Prayer Warriors. Time to do battle with satan and post your Prayers here.
I'm putting a $1 million bounty on Christopher Hitchen's soul. Bring him to Christ and you shall be *rewarded.
*Certain conditions apply. Must be a practicing True Christian™ with tithes paid in full. Must bring material evidence of the conversion. Offer void where prohibited.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)