X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Proof Positive: Retardeds are Helping Al Quaida

    Well I hope THIS story will put a cork in all those unsaved folks who have been hurling ridicule at me for years now. I have been telling anyone who would listen that the retardeds are in league with Bin Laden. Today the Communist News Network (CNN) let it slip that a pair of female retardeds blew themselves up in a petshop in Iraquistan, because they hate our Freedom.

    Female suicide bombers kill dozens in Baghdad

    BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Female suicide bombers blew themselves up Friday at two markets in Baghdad, killing at least 64 people and wounding more than 100, authorities said.

    One bomber struck at a popular pet market around 10:30 a.m. in central Baghdad, killing at least 46 people and wounding 82, the Iraqi Interior Ministry said.

    The second blast happened about a half-hour later in a southeastern Baghdad market, killing 18 and wounding 25, according to the Interior Ministry.

    In both bombings, the attackers were wearing suicide vests, according to Qasim Atta, a spokesman for the Baghdad security plan.

    Atta told state TV that both women were mentally disabled and their explosives were remotely detonated.

    The Al Ghazil pet market struck in the first attack is a popular destination where people buy and sell cats, dogs, monkeys and other animals. Attackers have struck the market on Fridays -- its busiest day -- several times in the last year or so.
    If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: The retardeds are trying to take over the world and cannot be trusted!
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

  • #2
    Re: Proof Positive: Retardeds are Helping Al Quaida

    Atta told state TV that both women were mentally disabled and their explosives were remotely detonated.
    I know it's not the point of your story; but the thought of wiring up a couple of retards and remotely detonating them just about makes me pee my pants.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Proof Positive: Retardeds are Helping Al Quaida

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      Well I hope THIS story will put a cork in all those unsaved folks who have been hurling ridicule at me for years now. I have been telling anyone who would listen that the retardeds are in league with Bin Laden. Today the Communist News Network (CNN) let it slip that a pair of female retardeds blew themselves up in a petshop in Iraquistan, because they hate our Freedom.
      Pssst...I don't think it was a petshop. It says it was a place "where people buy and sell cats, dogs, monkeys and other animals", but that probably just means it was a foodstore. Or a brothel.


      But it's pretty obvious that retardeds want the terrorists to win. Why else would they all vote for the Democrats?
      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Proof Positive: Retardeds are Helping Al Quaida

        I think these two just set a record on hellboundness:
        • they were female
        • they were tards
        • they were non-Americans
        • they were towelheads
        • they committed suicide
        • they killed 70 people (OK, other ragheads, so maybe that is a plus)
        • they were too stoopid to detonate themselves and needed remote help
        Now, I won't mention Barbed Tallywhackers torturing their drooling mouths forever, but I'm sure they will get a special treatment "down there".

        Which leads me to a question: are we considering the other cameljockeys blowing themselves up "not retarded"?
        Psalm 81:10:
        I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
        open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Proof Positive: Retardeds are Helping Al Quaida

          I think its high time that our Godly president declare a War on Retardeds as a follow-up on the War on Terror. If we eliminate the threat of mental midgets being used as suicide bomber meat puppets, then Al Quaida will be on the run once and for all. Mission Accomplished, doubleplus good!
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Proof Positive: Retardeds are Helping Al Quaida

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            Well I hope THIS story will put a cork in all those unsaved folks who have been hurling ridicule at me for years now. I have been telling anyone who would listen that the retardeds are in league with Bin Laden. Today the Communist News Network (CNN) let it slip that a pair of female retardeds blew themselves up in a petshop in Iraquistan, because they hate our Freedom.



            If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: The retardeds are trying to take over the world and cannot be trusted!
            Thank you for this story, Zeke. This is yet more proof that these ugly deformed monsters are nothing more than staggering stammering stammering demons in human skin. Mark my words, come Judgement Day ALL retards will turn on us, foaming at the mouth and fitting, like the rabid dogs they are.

            Even LIBERAL Christians know this! As Rev Phelps said, "When a 'tard dies, God laughs!" Hallelujah!

            - Rev RG Green
            God Hates Retards Movement

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Proof Positive: Retardeds are Helping Al Quaida

              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
              I think its high time that our Godly president declare a War on Retardeds as a follow-up on the War on Terror. If we eliminate the threat of mental midgets being used as suicide bomber meat puppets, then Al Quaida will be on the run once and for all. Mission Accomplished, doubleplus good!
              Hopefully this one should be a bit easier to win. If we can't outwit the retards after five years, I may become quite depressed.
              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Proof Positive: Retardeds are Helping Al Quaida

                LOL! I have to admit, if anybody knows anything about retards, it's fundies. Straight from the horses mouth, you could say.
                Space, and green chicks, the final frontier. These are the voyages of an atheist captain. His five year mission - To explore strange new women, to seek out new chicks and new chick hangouts. To boldly go where no man has gone before.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Proof Positive: Retardeds are Helping Al Quaida

                  Originally posted by Captain James T. Kirk View Post
                  LOL! I have to admit, if anybody knows anything about retards, it's fundies. Straight from the horses mouth, you could say.
                  You have a retarded horse that speaks to you?
                  May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Proof Positive: Retardeds are Helping Al Quaida

                    He totally agrees!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Proof Positive: Retardeds are Helping Al Quaida

                      I would argue the point Capt but
                      Attached Files

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X