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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 12:00 AM
Who here wants to play Sleasepits And Sinners™, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons?
Instead of goblins and orcs we face sinners. Instead of magic spells we use prayer.
Don't worry, you won't need to roll dice or do any elitist math. As the SpM (Sleasepit Master) I'll take care of all that for you. You just tell me what your character wants to do and I'll tell you what happens.
Here are some modules we can play:
- Escape from the Synogogue of Satan
- Deep in the depths of StarbucksStan
- The Campus of Doom
- Journey to the Ghetto of Terrors
We'll start playing right away, the first thing you do is choose your race and class.
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 12:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
We'll start playing right away, the first thing you do is choose your race and class.
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Sounds fun!
My race: White
My class: Upper
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 02:02 AM
You walk into Moe's Tavern (unrelated to the one on the simspons. This one doesn't serve alcohol either, or at least not the kind that causes drunken revelry. Maybe there's depressed drunks, but no revelery.)
As you are served some non-alcoholic mead by a rosy-cheecked, buxon, modestly and morally dressed wench, you think about your wanderlust, no, your wanderduty.
And then, he enters.
He is unmistacable, his rippling manliness emanates across the room, testoserone strong enough to strip paint with, his hair so silky it creates it's own wind to caress it. Yes, this man is so manly you fear you will become impregnated by mere eye contact. Such raw, relentless masculinity that raging bulls feel emasculated and even the firmest parts of the Washington Monument wither in comparism. Here before you stands patriotism incarnate, then paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.
And he has a Crusade for you.
Dare you answer The Call?
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 07-04-2014 at 11:44 AM.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 02:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
You walk into Moe's Tavern (unrelated to the one on the simspons. This one doesn't serve alcohol either, or at least not the kind that causes drunken revelry. Maybe there's depressed drunks, but no revelery.)
As you are served some non-alcoholic mead by a rosy-cheecked, buxon, modestly and morally dressed wench, you think about your wanderlust, no, your wanderduty.
And then, he enters.
He is unmistacable, his rippling manliness emanates across the room, testoserone strong enough to strip paint with, his hair so silky it creates it's own wind to caress it. Yes, this man is so manly you fear you will become impregnated by mere eye contact. Such raw, relentless masculinity that raging bulls feel emasculated and even the firmest parts of the Washington Monument wither in comparism. Here before you stands patriotism incarnate, then paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.
And he has a Crusade for you.
Dare you answer The Call?
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Is he shiny?
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 03:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
You walk into Moe's Tavern (unrelated to the one on the simspons. This one doesn't serve alcohol either, or at least not the kind that causes drunken revelry. Maybe there's depressed drunks, but no revelery.)
As you are served some non-alcoholic mead by a rosy-cheecked, buxon, modestly and morally dressed wench, you think about your wanderlust, no, your wanderduty.
And then, he enters.
He is unmistacable, his rippling manliness emanates across the room, testoserone strong enough to strip paint with, his hair so silky it creates it's own wind to caress it. Yes, this man is so manly you fear you will become impregnated by mere eye contact. Such raw, relentless masculinity that raging bulls feel emasculated and even the firmest parts of the Washington Monument wither in comparism. Here before you stands patriotism incarnate, then paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.
And he has a Crusade for you.
Dare you answer The Call?
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I am overwhwhelmed by this glorious apparition. I dare not say no, I dare not say anything but I fall on my knees and my white and financially relatively well-kept lips utter a silent verse in prayer.
Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word:
For mine eyes have seen thy salvation,
Which thou hast prepared before the face of all people;
A light to lighten the Gentiles, and the glory of thy people Israel.
I nod frantically. YES, YES. But I dare not make eye contact lest I be refused to join the quest.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 03:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
Is he shiny?
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Due to his ever-diligent application of top-quality antiperspirant, no, but around his neck is a cross so impressive it makes Flava-Flav's neckware look downright dainty. It's made from a metal so valuable, the place that mines it uses platinum as packing peanuts.
With a voice like thunder, he says:
"Patriots, in the far away land of the People's Republic of DesMoinstan, in that sweltering urban jungle, deep in that moist and humid nether-region, lurks a secret that must be uncovered. Hidden in ACORN HQ is a stolen Ballot Box that proves Sarah Palin, and therefore Jesus, won the 2008 election. Also Obama's Kenyan birth certificate. And his Iraqi birth certificate also. These artifacts must be recovered, if you fail the world will be destroyed. By which I mean America will be destroyed, and probably also some parts of Canada, since they're mostly downhill from us. Win and the universe is saved. Also, you'll get 200 Experience points, so you'll probably level up."
Edit: A note about races: Dwarves are not allowed, because God hates them. (Leviticus 21:17-23) Oompa-Loompas are okay, I guess. Monsterous races are okay, but until I get used to this game let's stick to monsters that are Biblically proven to exist in real life.
A note about classes: You don't have to be wealthy to be an adventurer. A level 1 "Blue Collar" gets $50 an hour or whatever minimum wage is, plus you get extra thief skills (because you've gotten practise stealing from your employer).
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 07-04-2014 at 11:44 AM.
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Fisher of Men
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,835
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 03:56 AM
I'm in.
Race: White
Class: Upper-Middle
II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 04:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
You walk into Moe's Tavern (unrelated to the one on the simspons. This one doesn't serve alcohol either, or at least not the kind that causes drunken revelry. Maybe there's depressed drunks, but no revelery.)
As you are served some non-alcoholic mead by a rosy-cheecked, buxon, modestly and morally dressed wench, you think about your wanderlust, no, your wanderduty.
And then, he enters.
He is unmistacable, his rippling manliness emanates across the room, testoserone strong enough to strip paint with, his hair so silky it creates it's own wind to caress it. Yes, this man is so manly you fear you will become impregnated by mere eye contact. Such raw, relentless masculinity that raging bulls feel emasculated and even the firmest parts of the Washington Monument wither in comparism. Here before you stands patriotism incarnate, then paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.
And he has a Crusade for you.
Dare you answer The Call?
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I would follow Jesus anywhere. I would do whatever He commands of me. I will never, ever turn my back on Him. I will never, ever resist obedience, nor would I hesitate a moment to think it over. My life for my Savior. My body for my Savior. My mind for my Savior. He can have my happiness, my memories, my will, and my all, for He is my All and I love Him! I love Him so much I would kill or die for Him. Kill or die. As He commands.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 04:45 AM
Race: Anything but NASCAR
Class: None, but can fake it if needed (do I have to wear pants? )
Quote:
...paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.
And he has a Crusade for you...
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Cool, never tried that before.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 09:09 AM
I'm in too!
Race - Anglo-Celt (just to mix it up a bit - this is only a role-playing game, right?)
Class - Intellectual Elite
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 10:25 AM
I was thinking about "other" but couldn't see any comments. The other option "Journey to the Ghetto of Terrors" seemed to have a lot of shiny people in it but as the description in OP unfolded what I visualised was without a head.
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 11:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
Race: Anything but NASCAR
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Just for that, you'll be an Oomba-Loompa.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
Class: None, but can fake it if needed (do I have to wear pants? )
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A double-amputee, legless Oompa-Loompa. Sister Mary will carry you in her handbag.
On with the role-playing:
A phone suddenly rings, startling Sister Mary, who fails a dexterity check and drops her handbag on the floor. Hard. Also, there's broken glass on the floor, causing 1d6 damage to Didymus. He loses 4 hit points. Ouch.
Zeke picks up the phone, and says "Yes....Yes....Yes....I understand....Amen". He puts down the phone and says "I've just gotten word that Obama's Birth Certificates have been moved to new locations. One is in the Campus of Doom, and the other is in the Synagogue of Satan, where the terrifying Level 5 Rabbi George Soros sits upon a vast treasure hoard. Also, if you're feeling sleepy, you can always get some coffee at Starbuckstan, but you don't have to, I mean, I'm not complaining that you're going to ignore something that took hours of work to create, it's totally your adventure."
"Where will you go first?"
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,765
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 10:44 PM
What a wonderful idea!
The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play. 1 Corinthians 10:7
Race: full-blooded white
Class: finishing 3rd year of dental school
Alignment: conservative Republican
Profession: 1st level dentist/1st level churchgoer
Powers: speaking in tongues, spotting homos, performing root canals, immunity to witchcraft, prayer
Items of Power: The Holy Bible, KJV1611
Weapons: God's Living Word; +2 dental drill; Chick tracts
Armor: The Whole Armor of God (Ephesians 6:11)
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-05-2014, 12:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
"Where will you go first?"[/COLOR][/I]
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Probably the one that is closer. I'm not afraid of either destination (Romans 8:31), but let's be practical here. Gas prices are on the rise, and Mr. Etheldreda doesn't like to wait for supper.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-05-2014, 01:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Probably the one that is closer. I'm not afraid of either destination (Romans 8:31), but let's be practical here. Gas prices are on the rise, and Mr. Etheldreda doesn't like to wait for supper.
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Zeke smiles. "Finally, some leadership, initiative, and clear thinking from a true go-getter."
*SLAP*
"ONE TIMOTHY TWO TWELVE YOU HELLSPAWN!"
(You have lost 3 hit points)
Footnote:
1 timothy 2-12
"But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." -God
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-05-2014, 02:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
...*SLAP*
"ONE TIMOTHY TWO TWELVE YOU HELLSPAWN!"
(You have lost 3 hit points)...
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Did she pick me back up before that? Do I take another 1d6?
Am I wearing a red shirt here or something?
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-05-2014, 04:06 AM
I suggest we go for the synagogue. Joos won't be too difficult to fight physically, but we will have to be prepared for a flock of vile lawyers. I think we DO need coffee, but womenfolk can make it on the spot as a nice picnic lunch. Ham sandwiches will also help to repel to joos.
Enough of this indecision. Time to see how our Acts unravel themselves.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-05-2014, 04:16 AM
I would have preferred the Campus of Doom but what I prefer is not important. I leave it to the men to decide.
I come armed with a coolbag full of home-baked individual pork pies.
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 63
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: the people's republic of cannukistan
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-05-2014, 04:21 AM
Race: Human
Class: Undead
Alignment: Darkwraith Covenant
Profession: Deprived
Powers: Iron Flesh, Wrath of the Gods, Chaos Fireball
Items of Power: Old Witch's ring, Darksign, broken pendant.
Weapons: Quelaag's Furysword,
Armor: Greatshield of Artorias, Ornstein armor set.
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Posts: 5,720
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Surrounded by feral eskimos.
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-05-2014, 09:29 AM
Race : Nigra
Class : gay
I'm hoping to prove with this character, that gaysexuality is purely a deathstyle choice and that Christ can wash even the curse of ham away, so I'm on the guest of becoming an ex-nigra and an ex-gay.
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