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Zechariah Smyth's Avatar
Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is offline
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-05-2013, 11:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChurchMadeMeAthiest View Post
Spilled seed was actually referred to grain that is lost when emptying sacks.

See what I did there?

On a serious note, masturbation lessens the chance of prostate cancer and dulls serious sexual anxiety. If a potential rapist rubbed one out before going on the prowl, he'd be less inclined to follow through.

FACT
I've never known a True Christian™ to get prostate cancer, proving the healing powers of prayer.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth


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ChurchMadeMeAthiest ChurchMadeMeAthiest is offline
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-05-2013, 11:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
I've never known a True Christian™ to get prostate cancer, proving the healing powers of prayer.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
It's an interesting sentiment. However condemnation should only be directed at things that are implicitly and purposefully mentioned.

Not vague and indirect references which are then turned into hateful hell-deserving blights.


Ezekiel 4:15 : I have given thee cow’s dung for man’s dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith.
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Alphonse Alban Alphonse Alban is offline
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-05-2013, 11:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChurchMadeMeAthiest View Post
If rape was ever a thought that I would entertain, then yes, it would still be true.

There's no need to try and put words in my mouth, I was just stating a fact
Without posting anything to support your fact, you must be talking from your own experience. How often do you feel this need for rape?
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-05-2013, 11:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban View Post
Without posting anything to support your fact, you must be talking from your own experience. How often do you feel this need for rape?
Really?

Does this 'ad absurdum' style of discussion usually work for you?


Ezekiel 4:15 : I have given thee cow’s dung for man’s dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith.
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Alphonse Alban Alphonse Alban is offline
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-05-2013, 11:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChurchMadeMeAthiest View Post
Really?

Does this 'ad absurdum' style of discussion usually work for you?
Ah, now I get it. You confused fact with opinion.
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ChurchMadeMeAthiest ChurchMadeMeAthiest is offline
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-06-2013, 05:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban View Post
Ah, now I get it. You confused fact with opinion.
You're right. How un-christian of me.


Ezekiel 4:15 : I have given thee cow’s dung for man’s dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith.
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Alphonse Alban Alphonse Alban is offline
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-06-2013, 12:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChurchMadeMeAthiest View Post
You're right. How un-christian of me.
Of course I'm right as I am a Christian and of course it's un-Christian of you since you are a heathen. It's common for your kind not to understand the difference between fact and fiction.
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Im a Fool & a Sinner Im a Fool & a Sinner is offline
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-07-2013, 02:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban View Post
Of course I'm right as I am a Christian and of course it's un-Christian of you since you are a heathen. It's common for your kind not to understand the difference between fact and fiction.
I would disagree. Its quite common for your "folk" to misunderstand everything you have read in the Bible as truth. ChurchMadeMeAthiest is right, your arguments have absolutely no structure and you spout nonsense. "I've never known a True Christian™ to get prostate cancer, proving the healing powers of prayer." That statement is only true to the people you know, not the all the True Christians on this planet. Go take your non sensical ideas and spout them somewhere else. Or maybe you can pray about them since you have given us supporting articles and facts that prayer does in fact heal the sick.


Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-07-2013, 04:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Im a Fool & a Sinner View Post
Go take your non sensical ideas and spout them somewhere else.
Did you forget where you were, dear? When you registered on this forum, you agreed to the fact you would be joining the chorus of Brothers and Sisters in Christ singing the praises of Jesus, and sharing the Good News that He is going to send every single person on Earth who doesn’t believe in Him, straight to Hell.

Hallelujah! Praise the !

Now, stop trying to pick a fight, and start praising !


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 10-23-2013, 01:47 AM

Here's a wetback who has gone out of it's way to achieve perverted fame as a masturbator. Most likely a papist to boot.
Quote:
Argentinian Man Masturbates 83 Times In 24 Hour Period – New World Record

La Falda, Argentina — Residents of a small town in Argentina are celebrating today as one of their own citizens has become the new record holder in the field of masturbation. From 8pm Thursday evening until 8pm Friday night, 22-year-old Hugo Lopez from the city of La Falda masturbated a total of 83 times. This new feat breaks the previous record set by a Thailand man last year.

Lopez spoke to reporters about the difficulty in achieving the new record. “Growing up I would practice all the time and took it very seriously. I knew one day my hard work and dedication would pay off. Thank you to everyone who made this possible.”

“Hugo would never leave his room,” Lopez’s mom Evita told CNN when asked about her son’s childhood. “He would just stay in his room for days at a time. We knew one day all that masturbation would pay off for him. He has made all his friends and family so proud.”

Lonnie Childs who is president and founder of Stop Masturbation Now does not agree that masturbation should be celebrated. “Masturbation is a gateway drug to rape. It leads to sexual dysfunction, erodes family values, and is a top ten cause of disease,” Childs said. “Kids these days want to break records. They want to see how many Rubik’s cubes can be solved or how many times they can masturbate. It makes me sick. What they need is a good visit from Fappy® The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, that would clear things up.” Childs continued, “God willing, one day masturbation will be illegal.”

(Fappy® The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and STOP Masturbation NOW are nonprofit organizations paid for by the Monsanto Company. Their main focus is educating children about the dangerous consequences of masturbation and the benefits of genetically modified foods.)

The previous masturbation record of 61 times in a 24-hour period was achieved by Santi Amranand of Pattaya, Thailand June 16th – June 17th of last year.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 04-29-2014, 08:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
The movie stars of Hellywood all masturbate. And then they brag about it! What kind of example does that set for Christian children?

I love James Franco. I think we must all respect him for being a good christian and not being hypocritical. He is honest about his masturbation
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 04-30-2014, 09:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rolledup View Post
I love James Franco. I think we must all respect him for being a good christian and not being hypocritical. He is honest about his masturbation
Utterly absurd! How is he a good Christian? From his wiki article:
Quote:
Regarding his secular upbringing, he told The Guardian that he feels as if he has "missed out on the Jewish experience", but has been told not to worry about that by his Jewish friends and said in the same interview that he likes "the idea of religion as a source of community." When asked if he was a "believer," he responded "In God? I don't know. Yes. To a certain extent. It's a complicated question."[18]
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 06-05-2014, 04:31 AM

THIS coon singer has publicly admitted to a deformity caused by excessive masturbating.
Quote:

50 Cent Blames Bad Baseball Pitch on 'Excessive Masturbation'
The rapper also responds to Aziz Ansari's bit about rapper's lack of grapefruit knowledge

Last week, rapper 50 Cent made headlines not for his music – but his lack of athletic skill, throwing the worst first pitch in the history of MLB (and, well, since the invention of baseballs). But there's a perfectly good explanation for the debacle, and, as A.V. Club notes, it involves a different manual activity.



"I have a skeletal muscle injury on my left shoulder from excessive masturbation so take it easy lol," the rapper wrote Wednesday in his Reddit AMA session promoting new album Animal Ambition.

This isn't the first time he's defended himself from the lopsided throw. "Look, I'm not a professional baseball player and won't be any time soon. I'm a musician," the rapper recently told Rolling Stone, adding that he "did practice before going out there and it went great, all strikes!"

LOLs aside, the rapper's struggles with masturbation appear to be semi-serious – at least, if a series of tweets dating back to 2012 is any indication. "Step 1. To avoid the urge to masturbate stop going to porn sites," he wrote, followed by three more bits of advice (including "Do not go to strip clubs").

Elsewhere in the AMA, 50 Cent finally addressed Aziz Ansari's classic stand-up bit – a story about how the rapper didn't know what a grapefruit was. Turns out he goes way back with the tasty treat, and he doesn't take the claims lightly. "My grandma used to get me grapefruit juice as a kid," he wrote. "(Anzari)'s a comedian. Ima have his ass whoop if he keeps saying that lol," he said.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 06-08-2014, 12:56 AM

Sorry, I'm a little slow cos I'm quite high, but are you guys serious? I can't tell if you're joking or not. You know the bible is made up right?
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 06-08-2014, 01:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by NotSureWhatsHappenin View Post
Sorry, I'm a little slow cos I'm quite high, but are you guys serious? I can't tell if you're joking or not. You know the bible is made up right?
Salvation is no laughing matter, friend.



Yes, the Bible is made up...of the greatest collection of advice, history and admonitions EVER!!!!!



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth


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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 06-19-2014, 05:10 AM

Well it seems that a young man in godless Argentina (a suburb of Mexico), has made satan proud today. What a world we ive in, where perversion like THIS would even be mentioned in polite company.

Quote:
Argentinian Man Masturbates 83 Times In 24 Hour Period – New World Record

La Falda, Argentina — Residents of a small town in Argentina are celebrating today as one of their own citizens has become the new record holder in the field of masturbation. From 8pm Thursday evening until 8pm Friday night, 22-year-old Hugo Lopez from the city of La Falda masturbated a total of 83 times. This new feat breaks the previous record set by a Thailand man last year.

Lopez spoke to reporters about the difficulty in achieving the new record. “Growing up I would practice all the time and took it very seriously. I knew one day my hard work and dedication would pay off. Thank you to everyone who made this possible.”

“Hugo would never leave his room,” Lopez’s mom Evita told CNN when asked about her son’s childhood. “He would just stay in his room for days at a time. We knew one day all that masturbation would pay off for him. He has made all his friends and family so proud.”

Lonnie Childs who is president and founder of Stop Masturbation Now does not agree that masturbation should be celebrated. “Masturbation is a gateway drug to rape. It leads to sexual dysfunction, erodes family values, and is a top ten cause of disease,” Childs said. “Kids these days want to break records. They want to see how many Rubik’s cubes can be solved or how many times they can masturbate. It makes me sick.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
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Default Re: Famous Masturbators in History - 06-19-2014, 07:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by NotSure View Post
You know the bible is made up right?
I think you are mixing The Bible up with the Lord of the Rings friend. The Bible is about Jesus who is the risen savior of mankind. The Lord of the Rings is a fantasy about a wizard who survives his own death and flies off into the sky.



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