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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Torch bearer Torch bearer is offline
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Default Re: i here to tell a story of greeting and holiness - 03-21-2014, 09:41 PM

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Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
This has become so muddled, I'm not sure whom I am welcoming, but I believe the instructions request that you tell us what church you go to, what your favorite Bible verse is, and how you came to find Jesus.

Who let the dogs out?

NRL
Naomi, i have done that. 2-Dollar Bill was even kind enough to point us a path to obtain a KJV-bible, that our congregation need. He kindly did this without charging us, praise unto him.


Joshua 7:15
Whoever is caught with the devoted things shall be destroyed by fire, along with all that belongs to him. He has violated the covenant of the Lord and has done an outrageous thing in Israel!
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Naomi Ruth Lamb Naomi Ruth Lamb is offline
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Default Re: i here to tell a story of greeting and holiness - 03-21-2014, 09:57 PM

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Originally Posted by Torch bearer View Post
Naomi, i have done that. 2-Dollar Bill was even kind enough to point us a path to obtain a KJV-bible, that our congregation need. He kindly did this without charging us, praise unto him.
I meekly and humbly apologize if I missed this introduction. I am, after all, female and therefore prone to bouts of confusion. If only I had a man to comfort me during those times. I turn instead to JESUS, who brings me to His Arms through prayer. His milk of loving kindness is so sweet.

I know that someday, a man will likewise offer me a taste of his milk of loving kindness.

NRL

PS I am willing to travel.


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
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Torch bearer Torch bearer is offline
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Default Re: i here to tell a story of greeting and holiness - 03-24-2014, 06:00 AM

Dear Naomi,

I took your P.S. and showed it to our congregation. We have a few bachelors here, and it would be good for them to have a Christian wife, as I see that you have reached The True Christian status. They would then not have to fight the evil thoughts of masturbation. We made a descision to buy some of your anti-masturbation cream, while waiting for it we're forced to use tabasco sause for them.

I wonder how I can add a prayer here, since our member in Russia is still missing

Torch bearer


Joshua 7:15
Whoever is caught with the devoted things shall be destroyed by fire, along with all that belongs to him. He has violated the covenant of the Lord and has done an outrageous thing in Israel!
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Re: i here to tell a story of greeting and holiness - 03-24-2014, 06:09 AM

Please excuse me while I gauge out my brain.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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