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Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

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Naomi Ruth Lamb's Avatar
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Default Requesting Permission to Post Here - 01-25-2014, 08:01 PM

Brothers in Jesus,

I meekly request permission to post a question about business management and other manly topics in your inner sanctum.

Please grant my request and I'll open up a little more to satisfy your curiosity.

Big smiles, winks, and appropriately platonic hugs,
NRL


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
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Alvin Moss's Avatar
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Default Re: Requesting Permission to Post Here - 01-25-2014, 08:07 PM

I for one have no objections, Sister.

Many have proceed you and we could hardly be described as not being open minded when it comes to new ideas.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: Requesting Permission to Post Here - 01-25-2014, 08:53 PM

It has been some time, but the Church Elders did bring this up for discussion at a regularly scheduled meeting. I remember a discussion about trying to control those who sign up for the forum and lie to the Baby Jesus concerning their gender. Then there was the problem of all this despicable transgender stuff going around and determining whether a transplanted tallywhacker constituted a real man in the eyes of the Lord, let alone in the secular world where we are trying to spread the Gospel and save souls for Jesus.

While no exact policy change was made concerning the forum, I would advise that Ms. Lamb proceed with some caution. The Senior Pastors will be watching this little experiment and will either decide to loosen the existing policy or rebuke and clamp down harder.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Requesting Permission to Post Here - 01-26-2014, 03:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
Brothers in Jesus,

I meekly request permission to post a question about business management and other manly topics in your inner sanctum.

Please grant my request and I'll open up a little more to satisfy your curiosity.

Big smiles, winks, and appropriately platonic hugs,
NRL
Since you have already posted here in the clearly-marked MEN's ONLY section of the forum, it seems that your "request" is largely rhetorical. I have often said from my Pulpit that an unattached female is a danger to any Congregation, and I am beginning to see evidence that I was right, as always.

Despite my misgivings, I am willing to allow you to make a fool of yourself attempt to post to the high standards here in the MEN's ONLY section this once. And if all you have to post is some ridiculous pie recipe, I can assure you that unpleasantness will be coming your way.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Requesting Permission to Post Here - 01-26-2014, 09:13 PM

I shan't post where I am unwelcome; I was merely seeking a man's opinion regarding the matters of my pie business that women can't possibly understand.

My apologies for the intrusion. I will spend four hours in the prayer closet seeking God's forgiveness.


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in Arkansas, California, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, New York, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, and soon near YOU!

Our pie is endorsed by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Default Re: Requesting Permission to Post Here - 01-26-2014, 10:13 PM

Sister Naomi, I am also breaking with tradition by posting here. I do so with a Pastor's permission, as a woman of advanced years, who was long ago able to demolish her menstra-shack and redevelop the site into a bijou barbecue area.

I would suggest that, as a respectable True Christian™ woman, there are no questions related to your moist pie that you cannot post on the open areas of the forum. You are free to ignore the mindless witterings of any women who may feel the need to respond - just as you are free to ignore the pointless stupidity of this response.

Bless you, Sister.

YiC
AW


2 Timothy 3:16

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


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Default Re: Requesting Permission to Post Here - 03-03-2014, 05:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
Brothers in Jesus,

I meekly request permission
DENIED!

Wow, that was fun. I should get myself into a position of real authority sometime soon.


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