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Default Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus - 12-31-2013, 05:31 AM

THIS kind of story makes me shake my head in despair. The darkies are just incapable of comprehending the majesty of Christ.

Quote:
Pastor Drowns When He Attempts To Walk On Water

A news organization,WORLDNETDAILY has reported the following unfortunate incident: “An evangelist who tried replicating Jesus’ miracle of walking on water has reportedly drowned off the western coast of Africa. Pastor Franck Kabele, 35, told his congregation he could repeat the biblical miracle, and he attempted it from a beach in Gabon’s capital of Libreville.

‘He told churchgoers he’d had a revelation that if he had enough faith, he could walk on water like Jesus,’ an eyewitness told theGlasgow Daily Record. ‘He took his congregation to the beach saying he would walk across the Komo estuary, which takes 20 minutes by boat. He walked into the water, which soon passed over his head and he never came back.’ A researcher at Florida State University believes he has a natural explanation for the account of Jesus’ miraculous walk on the surface of water — ice. Professor of Oceanography Doron Nof and the co-authors of his study theorize that a rare combination of optimal water and atmospheric conditions resulted in a unique, localized freezing phenomenon called ‘springs ice.’

"This horrible incident, together with a “professor’s” response, progresses from the tragically untaught to the supremely obtuse. The Tragedy of Ignorance“‘Pastor’ Kabele” obviously was a very sincere man; but sincerity does not nullify ignorance. I do not use this term in a pejorative way. All of us are ignorant in some matters. It’s just that sometimes one form of ignorance can have a greater consequence than others. In the first place it should be noted that “revelations” from God do not occur today. When the Old Testament era came to an end in Malachi’s day, 400 years passed with no “revelations” from God.

This era frequently is described as “the four silent centuries.” With the coming of a new age, from the commencement of Jesus’ ministry to the death of the apostle John, there was another relatively brief period when supernatural revelation and signs were manifest. When the New Testament was completed, and the apostles and other people possessing miraculous abilities died, no further signs were provided.

Had poor Mr. Kabele known his Bible better, he would not have attempted his “miracle” feat; had he possessed a moderate amount of common sense, he quickly would have discovered he could not “walk on water,” before the sea finally took him.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus - 12-31-2013, 07:23 AM

Darwin wins this round, I guess. (but )


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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus - 12-31-2013, 11:38 AM

Just goes to show that this man did not have enough faith in Jesus and so Jesus Smote him with the drowning.

When will people realise that not just any old man can be a Pastor? And thank God that Jesus sent this obvious liar as a clear and obvious message that He loves us and we should love Him I have never met a True Christian™ who has drowned.

Only sinners drown: that is the message.

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus - 12-31-2013, 12:21 PM

I despair of Africa. Did nobody even think to video it on their phone?


2 Timothy 3:16

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus - 12-31-2013, 01:58 PM

Good grief, what is that "professor" talking about Jesus walking on ice? What a nutjob.



Don't you think that if Jesus would've walked on ice it would've been DESCRIBED that way? Ice and snow and frost are all mentioned in the Bible, so it isn't like God invented them after this miracle.

Some people.

YiC,

Zech


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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus - 12-31-2013, 03:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
Just goes to show that this man did not have enough faith in Jesus and so Jesus Smote him with the drowning.
Oh AMEN Brother! Why, if one, just one person was Saved by watching this false shepherd being ushered into the depths of Hell, then it was worth it!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus - 12-31-2013, 06:06 PM

Such a easily avoided tragedy.

Had the nigra actually been a Christian (which is near impossible unless that are a graduate from the LBC Ex-Nigra Biblical School) Satan may not of led him to the depths of Hell. Furthermore, I think the creatures owners have some culpability. They need to watch better over their things. I hope they did not have the unmitigated gall to submit a loss claim with the insurance company.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus - 12-31-2013, 11:24 PM

We'll soon be getting emails from the beneficiaries of this nigra's will asking for our help to get his millions out to the West.
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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus - 01-01-2014, 01:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
Good grief, what is that "professor" talking about Jesus walking on ice? What a nutjob.



Don't you think that if Jesus would've walked on ice it would've been DESCRIBED that way? Ice and snow and frost are all mentioned in the Bible, so it isn't like God invented them after this miracle.

Some people.

YiC,

Zech
Another example of how far the sickular lieberal media will go to continue to persecute Christians. They will get their just reward for their actions come the Judgement.


Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016

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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus - 01-01-2014, 06:18 PM

Silly negro. He mustn't have been very bright.

1. It is a well known fact that negroes cannot swim

2. Do NOT mock or He will strike you down.




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Default Re: Coon Pastor Drowns Trying to Copy Jesus - 01-02-2014, 02:32 AM

Isaiah 43:2 tells us that the LORD doesn't allow His people to drown (I assume there is fine print somewhere, but still...) had this darkie been in good stead with the Heavenly Father, He would still be walking and leaping and praising God.


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
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