Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
You walk into Moe's Tavern (unrelated to the one on the simspons. This one doesn't serve alcohol either, or at least not the kind that causes drunken revelry. Maybe there's depressed drunks, but no revelery.)
As you are served some non-alcoholic mead by a rosy-cheecked, buxon, modestly and morally dressed wench, you think about your wanderlust, no, your wanderduty.
And then, he enters.
He is unmistacable, his rippling manliness emanates across the room, testoserone strong enough to strip paint with, his hair so silky it creates it's own wind to caress it. Yes, this man is so manly you fear you will become impregnated by mere eye contact. Such raw, relentless masculinity that raging bulls feel emasculated and even the firmest parts of the Washington Monument wither in comparism. Here before you stands patriotism incarnate, then paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.
And he has a Crusade for you.
Dare you answer The Call?
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I am overwhwhelmed by this glorious apparition. I dare not say no, I dare not say anything but I fall on my knees and my white and financially relatively well-kept lips utter a silent verse in prayer.
Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word:
For mine eyes have seen thy salvation,
Which thou hast prepared before the face of all people;
A light to lighten the Gentiles, and the glory of thy people Israel.
I nod frantically. YES, YES. But I dare not make eye contact lest I be refused to join the quest.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer