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Larry Lee Larry Lee is offline
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Default FINALLY! The Joos grow some payots… But is it too late? - 07-29-2014, 11:34 PM

Hi, I’m Larry Lee, Brothers and Cistern, greeting you with a Holy drive-by kiss because, GLORY, I know you’ve been getting as agitated with the Joos as I’ve been lately. What with their dragging their tallitot between their legs and letting the ultra-radical Mudswine Hamas have its way REPEATEDLY (and on FILM!) with our precious Promised Land. Honestly, up to this point, it’s been exactly like Samuel said long ago: “And all the men of Israel, when they saw the Mudswine, fled from him, and were sore afraid” (Samuel 17:24). HA! Not much has changed, has it? At least that’s what we thought, until the Joos grew some payots and started bombing the dung out of the “Getta outta Israel” Strip.

But let’s back up for a minute before we give too much glory to the Joos for what seems like some awfully good work their doing. The videos from the “Getta outta Israel” Strip are wonderfully edifying. Our souls sing when we see the block after block of Mudswine ruin. And it’s just too righteous to hear of baby Mudswines killed in their cradles, even as their tiny fingers no doubt clutch the barrels of the loaded AK-47s their Daddy Mudswines put under their pillows.

The Joos aren’t slacking, now, that’s for sure. But is it too little, too late? Has God already turned His countenance against them?

Let’s think about this situation Biblically and with our Lord’s Holy blessing, shall we… One day, at the beginning of Jooish history, God grabbed Moses, as Moses was limping gaily down the Akhenatënstrasse, and God whispered huskily into his ear: “Unto thy seed will I give this land” (Genesis 12:7). The Apostle Paul tells us what happened next: “Now to Abraham and his seed were the promises made. He saith not, And to seeds, as of many; but as of one, And to thy seed, which is Christ.” (Galatians 3:16). Which is to say, Brothers and Cistern, the Promised Land is OUR BIRTHRIGHT as True Christians and followers of the hung Savior. The Joos are the caretakers of the Promised Land that God gave to US, and frankly, ever since the Joos signed the 1993 Oslo Accords with the Palestine Lecherous Organization (PLO), the Joos have been doing a pretty piss poor job of securing the integrity of our Promised Land and its neo-liberal borders (notwithstanding the Joo’s recent annihilation (Oh, Lookie Lookie!) of life (or whatever you want to call it) in the “Getta outta Israel” Strip.) Hamas can kiss my Fatah Advent calendar all it wants because the Joos have done nothing but let me down.


Newt

I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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