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Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

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Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package). - 07-06-2014, 03:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
...What I'm thinking is it would probably be pretty painless for him if, when the lease is up on his current Caddy, which costs $500 per month, we were to trade it in on something like a Ford Fusion Hybrid ...which can be leased for $300 per month. That right there saves us $2,400 per year just on lease payments, and when you consider the fact that the Fusion Hybrid gets 47mpg vs. the Cadillac's 14mpg, we'd be saving at least another $3,000 on Zeke's gas bill... Anyway, I just thought this was something we should maybe consider. I love Pastor Zeke with all my heart, and I know he works very hard, but I know he also loves this church more than he loves his own life, and I'm sure he would not want to ever feel like his expenses were unduly burdening this fine organization.
Dearest Brother,

I always try to give everybody the benefit of doubt, even for vile unsaved trash. I could not do anyhing less for you.

So I researched the issue of the car:




Not good. Many extremely unpleasant aspects emerged:
  1. The Ford Fusion Hybrid was designed by abominable hippie GREENS for other sodomistic hippies. God hates greens. He intended us to multiply and subdue the Earth's disk (Genesis 1:28). This car is both atheist and ungodly.
  2. Steve Ballmer of Microsoft owns a Ford Fusion Hybrid.
  3. Steve Ballmer is a known homersex enthusiast (Leviticus 18:22), who actually donated lots of actual MONEY to the homer agenda. Had he given it to LBC, no-one would be in this mess!
And the worst part...:

Quote:
The attractively styled front seats have headrests that protrude too far forward for those who are slender or petite. I’m tall and thin and just couldn’t get comfortable behind the wheel, even with the headrest pushed to its most rearward position. No matter how I positioned the seat and steering wheel, my shoulders and neck invariably got cramped on long rides from straining to keep my head clear of the headrest.

That seems innocent... BUT IT IS NOT! "A headrest that protrudes..." - this is a clear euphemism and metaphor for male arousal. This car can turn people to the dark gayside of God's force. Of course, nothing can turn Pastor Zeke homer, but he might be entertaining more susceptible young students and disciples that are more prone to the gay innuendo.


Dearest Brother,

I am most certain that Pastor Zeke would be the first one to follow God's Word on wealth, such as the one that follows:

Mark 4:19 And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful.

..and I know financial issues ARE important, but this proposal of yours was not perhaps prepared in the best possible manner? I encourage you to continue your mission to ensure the continued enabling of spreading the GOOD WORD as efficiently as possible. BUT NOT WITH THIS HOMERCAR, please!

Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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