[Jim Farmer]

No, not the celebration of Christ's temporary death and resurrection. The word 'Easter'.
Pagans have for too long attempted to take away our Christian heritage and celebrations. Probably for 2500 years or more. They try to steal our children by associating eggs and rabbits with His death and resurrection. As we all know, eggs and rabbits are to do with pagan fertility rites. And in that sense no True Christian™ will have anything to do with these pagan symbols.

But what's wrong with the word 'Easter'? I hear you say.
'Easter' is a variation of Eostre, Estre, Estara, Eastre, Ostara etc which are all variations of the name of a pagan fertility goddess, which for ease of discussion we can call 'Eostre'. Now anyone with a medical background, and indeed even a dumb woman will immediately see the connection of that word with 'eostrogen' - a female hormone. So this isn't something I made up - the word 'Easter' truly is all about female fertility. Can you really think of anything more loathsome to discuss? If a woman isn't fertile, she's probably a witch, or at least a lezbean, and most certainly destined for Hell. How can she be saved in child-bearing if she's infertile?

It's been so long since the pagans have been trying to subvert our celebration that it was even known as 'Easter' in the time of King James of England! My suggestion, is that we from now hence, call it Paschal.
What do others think?