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  • #1

    Mother's Fund Raiser for Missions in Watts

    Sisters in Christ:

    Mother is once again making Bible covers to raise funds for missionaries assigned to Watts and other areas of our country where uppity nigras have neglected God by perpetuating violence and nonsense (Bronx, Camden, NJ, and the ABC network).

    These lovely covers look like tapestries and can be customized to your liking. Among Mother's best sellers:

    The Last Supper
    The Circumcision of Jesus
    The Descending Dove
    Jesus Transfiguration into Heaven

    Your favorite Bible verse
    Your favorite sports team (Great gift for Dad) "God Bless the Blackhawks"

    Portrait of Jesus
    Portrait of your pastor
    Portrait of your pastor and Jesus shaking hands
    Portrait of you, your pastor, and Jesus in a 3-way (handshake)

    The price varies, based on the difficulty of the work. Mother says a three way costs at least $100 but it is sure to make someone jealous! I am not certain we should encourage someone to commit the sin of jealousy, however. Please place orders no later than April 15 if you plan to give it as a Mother's Day gift, and no later than the 15th of May for Dad's special day. You will love the way your Bible looks!

    And don't forget: Mother also knits scarves, hats, sweaters, ties, martial-arts belts, and baby blankets.

    ALL sales go to save an unrepentant nigra or someone affected by his violent ways. GLORY!
    1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
    Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
    Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
    Locations in 50 States and Canada
    !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
    Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
    Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Mother's Fund Raiser for Missions in Watts

    Wow these sound nifty, and it is such a good cause! Naomi will you please tell your mother that she can expect an order from me?

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Mother's Fund Raiser for Missions in Watts

      Originally posted by KateSanders View Post
      Wow these sound nifty, and it is such a good cause! Naomi will you please tell your mother that she can expect an order from me?
      Oh, Sister Kate, she'll be so pleased! She's already received 17 orders thus far. Just let her know which one you'd like; I have sent you a private message with the phone number.

      May I ask you a personal question? Is your waist measurement 10 or 12 inches? Mine used to be 14 but I am slimming down like you.
      1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
      Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
      Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
      Locations in 50 States and Canada
      !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
      Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
      Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Mother's Fund Raiser for Missions in Watts

        Sister Naomi, Do you have any pics of ones she's done that you could email me?

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Mother's Fund Raiser for Missions in Watts

          Certainly, Sister Heather.

          Mother is so excited that the ladies of Landover are going to help her outreach to the lesser races. We'll bring the unwashed tribes to the Lord and shout glory as they make their way to Heaven. Hallelujah!
          1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
          Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
          Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
          Locations in 50 States and Canada
          !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
          Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
          Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Mother's Fund Raiser for Missions in Watts

            Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
            Certainly, Sister Heather.

            Mother is so excited that the ladies of Landover are going to help her outreach to the lesser races. We'll bring the unwashed tribes to the Lord and shout glory as they make their way to Heaven. Hallelujah!
            12 inches dear. Also, what kind of role models would we be if we didn't reach out to the lesser races and challenge them to try an improve themselves. Just recently I was lecturing my Negra maid about christian morals, and she seemed interested. Although, it was also clear that most of it went right over her head... She is probably about as smart as a chimp, so its not surprising, but I do wish I was able to get through to her more easily. I hope your missionaries are more successful than I was.

            Opps! Sorry about rambling, you know how we women can get. Anyways I am eagerly awaiting my purchase and I am glad my husband and I were able to support such a good cause! Glory!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Mother's Fund Raiser for Missions in Watts

              Sister Kate, I just know we're going to be lifelong friends.


              I had mother measure me this morning and I am SO embarrassed that I've reached 13 1/2 inches. How will I ever find a husband?


              Mother made your Bible cover a priority (at my request) so you should be receiving it this week. Won't you let me know if you like it? I want you to be completely satisfied and I'm willing to do ANYTHING to see you tingle with satisfaction, dear.


              Would you ever consider working at one of the pie shops? You'd make a great face on Naomi's Moist Pie.


              In Holy Sisterly Love,
              NRL
              1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
              Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
              Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
              Locations in 50 States and Canada
              !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
              Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
              Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Mother's Fund Raiser for Missions in Watts

                Well I checked my porch this morning and there was my package! Its everything I had envisioned. Thank you so much for having your mother prioritize me.

                Nothing would make me more happy then to be apart of your illustrious enterprise, but I fear that my pies would lower the quality of your shop. I make pies for my husband every Friday, and he never seems interested in them. Sometimes he won't even have a slice. I think the only explanation is that my pies don't taste good. I don't want to damage your stores reputation for having amazing pies with my lousy ones.

                Comment

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