[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

Airplanes have already done that to people, haven't they?
But my point was how would it exit the body? Seeing as the convenient exit would be removed, would one blow it out their nose?
Just asking.

As fast as I eat my strawberries in cream in Heaven, and it gets past my virtual taste buds, it will simply disappear into the ether. We won't evacuate bodily wastes because we won't have bodies. We won't need haircuts, we won't get old. The most beautiful women in history will be allowed into our presence on occasion to serve us JESUS' personal beer, which will always be as tasty and refreshing as the first one was at breakfast, and bring the cold lobster salads which are denied to us on earth. We will eat fresh oysters on the half-shell and toss the shells over the side, counting the seconds until they 'boink' some sinner down in the pits. Everything we want will appear instantly.

There are no Bibles and no sin. We have passed the test and graduated! All we have to do is relax and enjoy whatever we like and the only requirement is that when Jesus walks by you must prase Him. Most of us will be allowed to travel to other universes to be Gods ourselves and start our own planets. I am going to draw billions of souls from HELL to take with me, especially all of the clerks who have been rude to me in the past. They thought HELL was bad, but I have some ideas of my own.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

As fast as I eat my strawberries in cream in Heaven, and it gets past my virtual taste buds, it will simply disappear into the ether. We won't evacuate bodily wastes because we won't have bodies. We won't need haircuts, we won't get old. The most beautiful women in history will be allowed into our presence on occasion to serve us JESUS' personal beer, which will always be as tasty and refreshing as the first one was at breakfast, and bring the cold lobster salads which are denied to us on earth. We will eat fresh oysters on the half-shell and toss the shells over the side, counting the seconds until they 'boink' some sinner down in the pits. Everything we want will appear instantly.

So you won't have bodies, you'll have 'virtual bodies'?
With all due respect, you aren't talking about virtual reality here, Pastor. If you won't have bodies then in what will your consciousness reside?

There are no Bibles and no sin. We have passed the test and graduated! All we have to do is relax and enjoy whatever we like and the only requirement is that when Jesus walks by you must prase Him. Most of us will be allowed to travel to other universes to be Gods ourselves and start our own planets. I am going to draw billions of souls from HELL to take with me, especially all of the clerks who have been rude to me in the past. They thought HELL was bad, but I have some ideas of my own.

I can only imagine

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

Why does everyone keep saying this has something to do with an 'M' problem? How could it??

Oh, let's see. There's your undying fascination with this and, in another thread, with bestiality. Or did you mean other than those things?

I must confess myself surprised you seem so willing to help out a convicted drug addict felon. Has she bribed you agreed to tithe, then?

Fine. Criticize Mother Glynndie for showing some Christian compassion. When you're in hell, the devil will constantly remind you of all of the chances that we True Christians™ gave you to Repent®.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

Oh, let's see. There's your undying fascination with this and, in another thread, with bestiality. Or did you mean other than those things?

I'm more fascinated by the fact that none of you are able to answer the question.

Fine. Criticize Mother Glynndie for showing some Christian compassion. When you're in hell, the devil will constantly remind you of all of the chances that we True Christians™ gave you to Repent®.

I'm just curious as to why she cares about an umarried pregnant woman in prison when usually she might call such a woman 'an unsaved hellbound harlot'.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

I'm just curious as to why she cares about an umarried pregnant woman in prison when usually she might call such a woman 'an unsaved hellbound harlot'.

No, YOU are the unsaved hellbound harlot. This poor girl needs the love of Jesus and Mother G is showing her True Christian™ colors by trying to guide her to the Lord.

You insist on spitting in Jesus' face, so there is no hope for you.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

No, YOU are the unsaved hellbound harlot. This poor girl needs the love of Jesus and Mother G is showing her True Christian™ colors by trying to guide her to the Lord.

You insist on spitting in Jesus' face, so there is no hope for you.

I'm just curious as to why you want to help out this particular girl? What's in it for you?
You're christians, you don't do something for nothing, that's against the rules!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

I'm just curious as to why you want to help out this particular girl? What's in it for you?
You're christians, you don't do something for nothing, that's against the rules!

An innocent Christian girl has been treated badly and falsely convicted! Of course we are going to help her.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

An innocent Christian girl has been treated badly and falsely convicted! Of course we are going to help her.

I'm guessing she's agreed to become a platinum tither, has she?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

I'm guessing she's agreed to become a platinum tither, has she?

I am wounded to the core to hear that you think Christian kindness and compassion can be purchased! As far as I know the poor girl offered no money nor was she asked for any!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

I'm guessing she's agreed to become a platinum tither, has she?

That is of no consequence to you, heathen. Just because we discovered that this poor girls family is loaded to the gills and she's an only child, that is no reason to accuse us of base deceptions. The child needs Jesus in her life, obviously.

By the way, so do you. How are your parents doing?

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

I'm guessing she's agreed to become a platinum tither, has she?

I can't belive it took me this long to figure out what's really wrong here. Ms. BeenHellbound seems to be jealous; she has become used to our undivided attention. But now, another damsel in distress has come along and Rachael is worried we might pay more attention to her. Perhaps this is the time to turn or burn young lady.

[Ixi]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

Shut up, leave the girl and Rachel alone!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

Shut up, leave the girl and Rachel alone!

How about you shut your orifices to Satan and leave us decent godfearing Christian folk alone?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

Well thankyou, Ixi, at least someone here has some manners.

[Hushed_Agony]

Re: Pregnant in Prison

Pregnant in Prison
Forwarded from Valley State Prison for Women, Chowchilla, CA 93610 USA

My name is Tammy Greensboro and I am pregnant in prison. My mom and dad are going to be surprised when I come home with my beautiful baby in arms. But for now I am seeking a relationship with an open minded male or female. I am also seeking donations so I can buy formula and a crib for my baby. I'm not at all like the other prisoners here. I come from a good family and I plan to get a master's degree as soon as I get out of prison. I have leaned one thing - don't ever let a friend store her smack in you purse.

Correspond here or write to:
Tammy Greensboro # 154211
Chowchilla Prison 18-B-225
Chowchilla, CA 93610 USA

Sister Glendora,
I am willing to take this one in. She would be a most helpful asset to the farm. Chores start at 3:30 am and do not end til 10 or so. I am sure she is used to that in our nations prison system. I run about 300 head of cattle, along with my other job and really the work never ends. There is alot of sh*t that needs to be moved. Her little one would be useful as well. I am sure he/she(after he/she could walk) could add about another 3 hours worth of shovelin' to the farm. I think along with Pastor Al and Pastor Ezekiel's guiding hands they could show me ways of usefulness here on the farm and maybe turn the wretch around. But being inprisoned with those other lezbeauns...I would hope that the ladies of LBC could help me with that as well. Anyways, I offer my undying, but stern hand of faith in this situation.

YIC
Hushed