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  • The Easter Message: True Christians™ Will Walk Out of Our Graves.

    I think a lot of people just run through the motions at Easter time, eating ham and nodding off in church.

    They forget a specific message of Easter, we True Christians™ will walk out of their graves. It happened when our beloved, Jesus, called out from the cross. The graves of True Christians™ opened up, they walked out and "were seen by many."

    This is a little known fact. It seems like God put it it the Bible as a secret message to we True Christians™. It's like he whispered to us, "You don't have to die like those other smucks."

    This whispered message is at Matthew 27: 50-53.

    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

  • #2
    Re: The Easter Message: True Christians™ Will Walk Out of Our Graves.

    Amen, Mr Mayor! That is a heartwarming message. I feel truly blessed to be a True Christian(tm). Indeed, we won't all die.

    1 Cor 15:51-52 Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

    And if we do die, we won't die like unsaved trash; we'll be resurrected to life (Jn 5:29). I wonder where all those resurrected Old Testament saints went.
    sigpicMt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

    Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies

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    • #3
      Re: The Easter Message: True Christians™ Will Walk Out of Our Graves.

      Amen!

      Brother Mayor, this is precisely why I've requested to be buried in sensible shoes. I cannot imagine being brought out of the earth to be reunited with loved ones, only to be slowed down by fashionable shoes. Besides, I don't think anyone will really notice if my shoes match my handbag at the time.

      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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