Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
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Rectal prolapse hardly sounds like a life-threatening condition; in fact, one of the elderly members in my former congregation had surgery for just that, and why would the LORD GOD have stricken one of my most pious members (indeed, his Christian name was "Pious") with the same condition inflicted upon that infidel Jehoram? One might conclude that Western medicine has no term for this because there are no documented cases. It's certainly not hemorrhoids, for I myself have suffered those wretched things, but in retrospect I deserved my discomfort because of some dietary indiscretions (I ate unclean flesh while under the influence whilst celebrating a relative's holy matrimony).
I frequently hear doctors say we need more fiber and regular checkups by gay butt doctors who use modern devices of sodomy (with cameras attached to them, no doubt so they can pleasure themselves to the footage afterwards
) to prevent such butt problems, but whenever you find yourself coming down with the grapes of GOD'S wrath, remember Lamentations 1:20 -- "Behold, O LORD; for I am in distress: my bowels are troubled; mine heart is turned within me; for I have grievously rebelled."
If, however, your rectal pains are due to receiving the stiffened member of the same sex or an artificial phallic device, you will need more than a Bible verse...