The King James Bible. The One and Only. The 100% accurate transmission of the Word of God, of Jesus Christ in the original American, just as Jesus meant it to be. First distributed in the barbaric vernaculars of Greek and Latin until eventually restored to its perfect Celestial form by the order of King James VI and I in 1611.
We all know it and
love and Cherish it as the Ultimate Guidebook for Life, Universe and Everything. However, modern
Creation Science has proven that the man responsible for this - arguably the most
awesome deed after
Jesus's selfless temporary self-sacrifice - was a homosexual gay. The evidence is overwhelming.
King James was a rampaging fatally femme queer who began his fornicatory exploration at the tender age of
13 and continued his rectal romps until his death from
dysentery, a fitting end of bloody diarrhea for a sodomite. First, we shall examine the proof and then we shall assess why
Jesus saw it fitting to channel His most perfect collection of writings through a gay homosexual.
The proof:
The best and most authoritative research article on the issue is the classic "
The Homosexual Tendencies of King James: Should this Matter to Bible Readers Today?" by Donald Capps and Nathan Steven Carlin. In addition, several other
prestigious texts provide information about the
sodomite nature of King James as follows:
Then, there's the
character witness of effeminacy and clearly "gay" physique.
A portrait of the
teenage James clearly shows these tendencies.
A
later portrait still clearly shows these tendencies.
It is extremely hard to
accept but, as Capps and Carlin note, most of the rebuttals are circular reasoning of the kind "James was a man of
God so he could not have been a gay homosexual because men of
God are not gay homosexuals". In a vivid passage the authors show how desperate the opposition can be in their rationalization.
Who were the sodomite lovers of King James? Let us see!
Esmé Stuart. The object of the 13-year-old James's affections. Clearly a "bear" sodomite, whom the adolescent James must have found
irresistible.
Robert Carr, first earl of Somerset (and we all know that
Somerset Maugham was a gay man, too), the Groom of James's Bedchamber.
Jesus H. Christ! See the wide eyes ready to ogle the unmentionable
treasures of young or old James.
George Villiers, Gentleman of the Bedchamber (
) and ultimately the Earl (1st) of Buckingham. See the forward-leaning jaw ready to
engulf the male organ of James into
oral stimulation.
A
swarm of gaydom not unlikely the following centuries on the UK throne. Why or why did
Jesus choose this man to be the messenger of His most precious Words? Words that in their still ortographically incomplete 1611 form included this
cherished verse!
Romans 1:27
And likewise also the men, leauing the naturall vse of the woman, burned in their lust one towards another, men with men working that which is vnseemely, and receiuing in themselues that recompense of their errour which was meet.
Why? Let us
think! And
Pray! Mostly
Pray! By transmitting these wonderful words through a well-known sodomite
Jesus, in fact, made His message even
more reliable. If a manly womanizer with healthy ovulation-synchronized conjugal bed manners had produced the beautiful verses condemning homosexuality, it would have been passed as totally
uneventful. But by making a
gay effeminate "bottom" order the production of these lines,
Jesus enforced the apparent Truth™ value of these sweet verses. Why would a sodomite condemn his own behavior if
Jesus did not intervene? he did. He chose just the right
bi-curious creature to spread His Good News. A homosexual condemning his
own kind is much more powerful as a
testimony than the words of a man who selflessly mounts women despite all the
mess and discomfort. This great tradition is ongoing. The most powerful testimonies for
Jesus are those who publicly tell how they were cured by prayer. That is the
best evidence.
Why
1611? It could
not have been earlier as the American tongue was not
perfect enough to contain such grandiose prose. Why not a bit later to avoid the
ortographical mess? Because many tens, even
dozens of souls would have been lost had Jesus chosen to procrastinate. King James. A
sodomite, yet the
perfect man for the job. Obviously, it is unlikely that we shall meet him in
Heaven but we can watch from the lookout spot (Luke 16:26) how he and his lovers receive the
endless rectal ripping from Satan and his minions.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
