[Elmer G. White]

The King James Bible. The One and Only. The 100% accurate transmission of the Word of God, of Jesus Christ in the original American, just as Jesus meant it to be. First distributed in the barbaric vernaculars of Greek and Latin until eventually restored to its perfect Celestial form by the order of King James VI and I in 1611.

We all know it and love and Cherish it as the Ultimate Guidebook for Life, Universe and Everything. However, modern Creation Science has proven that the man responsible for this - arguably the most awesome deed after Jesus's selfless temporary self-sacrifice - was a homosexual gay. The evidence is overwhelming. King James was a rampaging fatally femme queer who began his fornicatory exploration at the tender age of 13 and continued his rectal romps until his death from dysentery, a fitting end of bloody diarrhea for a sodomite. First, we shall examine the proof and then we shall assess why Jesus saw it fitting to channel His most perfect collection of writings through a gay homosexual.

The proof:
The best and most authoritative research article on the issue is the classic "The Homosexual Tendencies of King James: Should this Matter to Bible Readers Today?" by Donald Capps and Nathan Steven Carlin. In addition, several other prestigious texts provide information about the sodomite nature of King James as follows:

At the age of thirteen James fell madly in love with his male cousin Esmé Stuart whom he made Duke of Lennox. James deferred to Esmé to the consternation of his ministers. In 1582 James was kidnapped and forced to issue a proclamation against his lover and send him back to France.

Later, James fell in love with a poor young Scotsman named Robert Carr. “The king leans on his [Carrʼs] arm, pinches his cheeks, smooths his ruffled garment, and when he looks upon Carr, directs his speech to others.”
—Thomas Howard, Earl of Suffolk, in a letter, 1611
Jamesʼs sexual orientation was so widely known that Sir Walter Raleigh joked about it in public saying “King Elizabeth” had been succeeded by “Queen James.”
—Catherine D. Bowen, The Lion and the Throne

Then, there's the character witness of effeminacy and clearly "gay" physique.

A physical weakling, as an adolescent James had shown himself to be a coward, who liked only to hunt, to read (which he did, prodigiously) and to talk. To protect himself he wore thick quilted doublets, so padded that they provided a kind of armor against any assassin who might attack him with a knife. When he revealed a sexual preference for men, falling in love with his cousin Esmé Stewart and elevating him to a position of authority on the royal council...

As he aged James indulged his preference for handsome men, living apart from his wife. His doting fondness was part paternal, part erotic; he called his favorite George Villiers “sweet child and wife” and referred to himself as “your dear dad and husband.” But to his courtiers, the sight of the aging, paunchy, balding monarch, who according to one court observer had a tendency to drool, leaning on his paramours was utterly repellant.

A portrait of the teenage James clearly shows these tendencies.



A later portrait still clearly shows these tendencies.



It is extremely hard to accept but, as Capps and Carlin note, most of the rebuttals are circular reasoning of the kind "James was a man of God so he could not have been a gay homosexual because men of God are not gay homosexuals". In a vivid passage the authors show how desperate the opposition can be in their rationalization.

If, for example, we knew that James fondled Villiers, we can easily imagine Coston responding: “Just because James and Villiers stroked each other’s penises does not mean that James had homosexual tendencies. Skin is only skin, after all, and in James’s time this was just like shaking hands, a common practice in the English court. Moreover, many men in England and Europe did the same. Do you seriously think that they, too, had homosexual tendencies?”

Who were the sodomite lovers of King James? Let us see!

Esmé Stuart. The object of the 13-year-old James's affections. Clearly a "bear" sodomite, whom the adolescent James must have found irresistible.



Robert Carr, first earl of Somerset (and we all know that Somerset Maugham was a gay man, too), the Groom of James's Bedchamber. Jesus H. Christ! See the wide eyes ready to ogle the unmentionable treasures of young or old James.



George Villiers, Gentleman of the Bedchamber () and ultimately the Earl (1st) of Buckingham. See the forward-leaning jaw ready to engulf the male organ of James into oral stimulation.



A swarm of gaydom not unlikely the following centuries on the UK throne. Why or why did Jesus choose this man to be the messenger of His most precious Words? Words that in their still ortographically incomplete 1611 form included this cherished verse!

Romans 1:27
And likewise also the men, leauing the naturall vse of the woman, burned in their lust one towards another, men with men working that which is vnseemely, and receiuing in themselues that recompense of their errour which was meet.

Why? Let us think! And Pray! Mostly Pray! By transmitting these wonderful words through a well-known sodomite Jesus, in fact, made His message even more reliable. If a manly womanizer with healthy ovulation-synchronized conjugal bed manners had produced the beautiful verses condemning homosexuality, it would have been passed as totally uneventful. But by making a gay effeminate "bottom" order the production of these lines, Jesus enforced the apparent Truth™ value of these sweet verses. Why would a sodomite condemn his own behavior if Jesus did not intervene? he did. He chose just the right bi-curious creature to spread His Good News. A homosexual condemning his own kind is much more powerful as a testimony than the words of a man who selflessly mounts women despite all the mess and discomfort. This great tradition is ongoing. The most powerful testimonies for Jesus are those who publicly tell how they were cured by prayer. That is the best evidence.

Why 1611? It could not have been earlier as the American tongue was not perfect enough to contain such grandiose prose. Why not a bit later to avoid the ortographical mess? Because many tens, even dozens of souls would have been lost had Jesus chosen to procrastinate. King James. A sodomite, yet the perfect man for the job. Obviously, it is unlikely that we shall meet him in Heaven but we can watch from the lookout spot (Luke 16:26) how he and his lovers receive the endless rectal ripping from Satan and his minions.






Yours in Christ,

Elmer