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Default Re: Help Me Understand the Purchase Application - 01-23-2014, 02:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
Marla Jennings, True Christian ™ Realtor, is on vacation and I received the following letter from the Property Manager at Leviticus Landings:

"Dear Miss Lamb:

We are in receipt of your application to purchase a condo at Leviticus Landings for your parents. The Board has a few concerns:

1. One or more of your parents is reported to have early onset dementia. We consider this tantamount to demon possession.
2. Special consideration for approval of this purchase has not yet been given by the senior pastors of Landover Baptist Church.

No one is allowed to reside in Freehold's gated community if they have the smallest speck of sin stains. We need to be assured that a senior pastor has declared both of your parents to be free of sin. We therefore recommend the Buyer's Exorcism and Soul Cleansing package as an addendum to your sales contract. Not only will this speed your purchase, but it will give you peace of mind in knowing that your loved ones will enter heaven's gates after they enter ours..."

Is there an extra charge for this package? Can one of the senior pastors see that I get a package in my hands soon? Is there a safe community outside of Freehold where my parents could live comfortably? Will they be relegated to the bleacher seats for Sunday Services, or can I get passes for the Holy of Holy Inner Sanctuary for them? So many details, so much red tape.

Yours in Him,
NRL
Just sign the papers and give your account details. The pastors will take care of your package with the utmost care and fulfill it to perfection.

As noted in your realtor's information your old mother will be saved if you take that choice, as for the placement (and depending on her condition) it might be outside of view, for both her and everybody else's good.

But as mentioned in another post, you should consider the financial impact of the additional burden, it would be most unwise to spend all on your mother and not having enough for yourself.

As you don't have a father nor a husband, feel free to ask any TRUE CHRISTIAN man to help you with your package and instruction.

PRAISE THE LORD!
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