August 15, 1945 -
Victory over Japan Day
It was on this glorious day so many years ago that the Lord Jesus finally moved the Japanese to surrender, as we knew they would, to the vastly superior American Army. After months of getting their skinny, rice-eating, slanty-eyed, God-hating heinies handed to them on a silver platter, we finally snapped their chopsticks and forced them to give up and go back to their rice paddy. Little known fact: it was also on this day that Japan agreed to start acting more American and pursue more Godly goals such as making products that Americans would spend money on. I believe it was on this day that our glorious leader, Pastor Al, was captured on film expressing his extreme joy by kissing his future wife:
Praise Jesus and pass the soy sauce!