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Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator

 
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Van Nuys, CA
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Default Re: WEDDING QUESTION : SHOULD MY FIANCEE' SHAVE HER VAGINA? - 10-18-2009, 02:24 AM

Hey man, I have more than a little experience with vaginas so I hope I can help. There are basically two reasons you want your lady to shave her cat.

The first reason derives from the old proverb "don't stick your hand anywhere you can't see." Let's say you're a cop and you're investigating a drug house, I think we can both agree that it would be unwise to reach anywhere that you can't see, for fear of pricking your finger on a needle or something like that. The same can be applied for reaching down snake or gopher holes. Apply this to a woman's vagina. If you can't see down there why are you sticking your Johnson in it? Who knows what kind of shit might be hiding in there.

The second reason is pretty simple: you don't want to do a chick that has a massive bush, but the only problem is that the only way to find out if a girl has a massive bush is by taking her pants come off, and once a person's pants are off you have to have sex with them. Once those pants come off you've reached the point of no return, bro. It's better to be safe than to be sorry, you know? You don't want to be sitting there naked when she pulls down her pants and you get to see how she has some ZZ Top shit going on down there, because at that point it's too late to get out of there and you gotta just go with it.

Therefore, it is my suggestion that you also ask and insist on the girl shaving beforehand. And by "shave" I don't mean "trip" or "leave a landing strip" or something like that, I mean her crotch needs to look like a WWI no man's land with barbed wire and dead trees all over the place-- looks like a bomb full of mustard gas went off and will kill anything that steps foot in it.


My story is like that of most, if not all Born Again Christians: I was lost, I did some drugs, I had sex with a lot of women, then I had sex with a lot of men, then I did it with some children, then I did it with some animals, then I went back to women for a little bit but also did it with animals on the side, then I did it with men and some children, then I got a bunch of irreversible STDs and can no longer get an erection so I decided to give my life to Christ since I can't bone women or men or children or animals anymore. Read my testimony here: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=21140
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