The same people (Al Gore, ACORN, atheist scientists, etc) who are behind the global warming hoax are also responsible for this one. Not surprisingly, the liberal media continues to beat their anti-business drum by publishing propaganda photos like this:
In fact, it's a total lie to claim that this animal was harmed by the "oil spill." That bird is actually one of my company's latest food products, "Pre-oiled Seagull." It's great - just drop it in the frying pan, no need to add canola or olive oil. You've heard of all the benefits of taking omega-3 fish oil - well, our researchers have discovered that our bodies also require at least 3 tablespoons per day of crude oil as well! Crude oil is a totally natural product, just like uranium and mercury, and our bought-and-paid-for medical researchers have discovered that most people are deficient in these vital nutrients.
More good news - non-digestible black crude oil has no calories and helps relieve constipation! Research confirms that it will help you lose weight (and possibly hair and fingernails).
By this time next week, you'll find our Pre-oil Seagulls in the Frozen Foods section at Wal-Mart, along with several other new mouth-watering items like "Petroleum Oysters" and "Diesel Tuna." Just more great products from Uranus!