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Default Re: What is it like to be an atheist? - 04-19-2012, 10:35 PM

Average day of an atheist:

9:22 a.m. Wake up feeling terrible, hungover from the previous night.
9:45 a.m. Stumble over empty vodka bottles on the way to the bathroom.
10:00 a.m. Stare into the mirror thinking about your sad, pointless life and your inevitable date with Satan.
10:05 a.m. Shave.
10:16 a.m. Wonder where your life went wrong-- "Oh yeah, that's right--- avoiding church and rebuking Almighty God is how I became a hopless wretch," you say to yourself.
11:05 a.m. Porn on computer.
1:36 p.m. Mailman arrives with Government handout check.
3:31 p.m. Call your drug dealer for more drugs to dull your pain.
4:02 p.m. Drug dealer arrives with illegal drug delivery and a complementary Obama campaign lapel pin.
4:22 p.m. Regular porn won't do it for you any more, so it's on to gay porn.
5:06 p.m. Call a guy offering sodomy for sale on Craigslist.
6:00 p.m. More drugs.
7:00 p.m. More porn.
8:33 p.m. Pledge allegiance to Obama.
9:10 p.m. Call another guy on Craigslist.
9:52 p.m. Drive to liquor store, guzzling liquor all the way home.
10:22 p.m. More drugs.
11:42 p.m. Pass out, drugged up and drunk on the floor of the bathroom.
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