Dear Naomi,
I took your P.S. and showed it to our congregation. We have a few bachelors here, and it would be good for them to have a Christian wife, as I see that you have reached The True Christian status. They would then not have to fight the evil thoughts of masturbation. We made a descision to buy some of your anti-masturbation cream, while waiting for it we're forced to use tabasco sause for them.
I wonder how I can add a prayer here, since our member in Russia is still missing
Torch bearer