Dearest dearest Brother Faith Machine:
It's been decided to grant you immunity from the
Tithing Accountability Review for thirty (30) days, but you must come into the Church Offices, or surrender yourself to a Pastor, so you may sign the simple paperwork.
You need to tell us
where you are so we can bring you a pen.
Doesn't some nice hot soup sound good about now? Why, you can have all you want. And even some rolls. Doesn't the little heart-shaped butter pat tell you how dear you are, and always have been, to the Church™?
Now, where are you?
Luke 23:
41 And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.
42 And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.
43 And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.