A group of
eggheaded scientific nerds, with the liberal-bias you'd expect from over-educated people, have published a list of 14 questions they want John McCain and Barack Obama to answer. Since John McCain obviously has more important things to deal with than what some group of dweeby pencil-necks thinks, I think we should answer the questions for him.
1. Innovation. Science and technology have been responsible for half of the growth of the American economy since WWII. But several recent reports question America’s continued leadership in these vital areas. What policies will you support to ensure that America remains the world leader in innovation?
My answer: by causing as many Americans as possible to get raptured to heaven. Once in heaven, we can continue our leadership and economic growth there. Let's see the European and Japanese are still able to invent new hybrid engines while swimming in the lake of fire!
2. Climate Change. The Earth’s climate is changing and there is concern about the potentially adverse effects of these changes on life on the planet. What is your position on the following measures that have been proposed to address global climate change—a cap-and-trade system, a carbon tax, increased fuel-economy standards, or research? Are there other policies you would support?
My answer: First of all,
Climate change is caused by volcanoes, and is made up by the liberal-bias scientific community, with funding from the weather channel. Secondly, the rapture will come before the volcanoes can do much damage. Any even if they do, God will provide for us.
3. Energy. Many policymakers and scientists say energy security and sustainability are major problems facing the United States this century. What policies would you support to meet demand for energy while ensuring an economically and environmentally sustainable future?
My answer: There is enough energy in
baby seal oil to fuel freedom for 200 years, and once the seals are depleted, there is also penguin oil.
4. Education. A comparison of 15-year-olds in 30 wealthy nations found that average science scores among U.S. students ranked 17th, while average U.S. math scores ranked 24th. What role do you think the federal government should play in preparing K-12 students for the science and technology driven 21st Century?
5. National Security. Science and technology are at the core of national security like never before. What is your view of how science and technology can best be used to ensure national security and where should we put our focus?
My answer: You know, I'm reminded of a beach boys song: Bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb Iran. And let's stay in Iraq for 100 years. People don't care if we stay there for 1,000 years or 10,000 years.
6. Pandemics and Biosecurity. Some estimates suggest that if H5N1 Avian Flu becomes a pandemic it could kill more than 300 million people. In an era of constant and rapid international travel, what steps should the United States take to protect our population from global pandemics or deliberate biological attacks?
My answer: Plagues are sent by God to punish those who disobey God. They will not trouble America once we have phased out the quaint and obsolute constitution and replaced it with Biblical law.
7. Genetics research. The field of genetics has the potential to improve human health and nutrition, but many people are concerned about the effects of genetic modification both in humans and in agriculture. What is the right policy balance between the benefits of genetic advances and their potential risks?
My answer: We will replace genetic engineering with intelligent designing, which is similar only we pray for new crops and so on.
8. Stem cells. Stem cell research advocates say it may successfully lead to treatments for many chronic diseases and injuries, saving lives, but opponents argue that using embryos as a source for stem cells destroys human life. What is your position on government regulation and funding of stem cell research?
My answer: Murderers will be given the death penalty.
9. Ocean Health. Scientists estimate that some 75 percent of the world’s fisheries are in serious decline and habitats around the world like coral reefs are seriously threatened. What steps, if any, should the United States take during your presidency to protect ocean health?
My answer: The last 25 percent of the fishes should do fine until the rapture. If not, read about Christ's miracle of the Loaves and FISHES, amen. God will provide for us.
10. Water. Thirty-nine states expect some level of water shortage over the next decade, and scientific studies suggest that a majority of our water resources are at risk. What policies would you support to meet demand for water resources?
My answer: Nonsense.
Read this article here.
11. Space. The study of Earth from space can yield important information about climate change; focus on the cosmos can advance our understanding of the universe; and manned space travel can help us inspire new generations of youth to go into science. Can we afford all of them? How would you prioritize space in your administration?
My answer: While we understand that God place the lights in the firmament for giving us signs to read, we also understand that astrology is a form of witchcraft and that witches must be put to death. There, the creaters of the hubble telescope, and other devices used to study the lights in the firmament, will be given the death penalty.
12. Scientific Integrity. Many government scientists report political interference in their job. Is it acceptable for elected officials to hold back or alter scientific reports if they conflict with their own views, and how will you balance scientific information with politics and personal beliefs in your decision-making?
13. Research. For many years, Congress has recognized the importance of science and engineering research to realizing our national goals. Given that the next Congress will likely face spending constraints, what priority would you give to investment in basic research in upcoming budgets?
My answer: There's some new nuclear bomb R&D that looks promising.
14. Health. Americans are increasingly concerned with the cost, quality and availability of health care. How do you see science, research and technology contributing to improved health and quality of life?
My answer: The only way to eternal life is through Christ.
Trying to make your life longer is a crime against dignity.
I would go longer and into more detail, but I want to give everyone a chance to help answer these questions.