I spank my wife every day so she can remember Jesus's pain, and God's wrath. She is thankful for it, even though it hurts. Once a person living down the block (he would've been banned from this church, he stuck his foot in the door and insisted on coming in. He was lucky I didnt grab my gun, once I was robbed, and I pumped the robber so full of lead, we had to use him as a pencil instead
) and when he saw me beating my wife with whatever was handy, this time a broom she had been sweeping with, he freaked. I pointed out that my wife wasn't a 'free thinker' (witch) and she behaved perfectly. His wife was the polar opposite, like a northerner to one of us southerners. He got real quiet after that, soon I might get him to convert and save his soul!