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  • Re: Manly Jokes

    Rodrigo how are you even a forum member when you can't even speak proper english you dumb ***insults removed*** i hope ***repulsive threats removed*** aids you ***more insults removed*** sell out

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    • Re: Manly Jokes

      Originally posted by tedalmos View Post
      Rodrigo, how are you even a forum member, when you can't even speak proper English? You dumb ***insults removed***, I hope ***repulsive threats removed*** of AIDS you piffleing sell out.
      Matthew 7:5, sweetie.

      God created fossils to test our faith.

      * * *

      My favorite LBC sermons:
      True Christians are Perfect!
      True Christian™ Love.
      Salvation™ made Easy!
      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
      Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
      God HATES Rational Thinking!
      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

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      • Re: Manly Jokes

        Top Ten Reasons That Beer Is Better Than Jesus:-
        a) No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
        b) Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
        c) They don't force beer on minors who cannot think for themselves.
        d) Beer has never caused a major war.
        e) When you have a beer you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
        f) Nobody has ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over a beer.
        g) You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer.
        h) There are laws saying beer labels cannot lie to you.
        I) You can prove you have a beer.
        j) If you are devoted to beer then there are groups who can help you stop.

        Comment


        • Re: Manly Jokes

          Originally posted by tedalmos View Post
          plagiarism
          Ermagerd, yer so original!!!
          sigpic

          Comment


          • Re: Manly Jokes

            Originally posted by tedalmos View Post
            Top Ten Reasons That Beer Is Better Than Jesus
            Top Ten Reasons YOU will burn in Hell:

            1. You are a sinning idiot (James 2:10).
            2. You are a sinning idiot (Deuteronomy 4:2).
            3. You are a sinning idiot (Mark 16:16).
            4. You are a sinning idiot (Genesis 38:9-10).
            5. You are a sinning idiot (Exodus 20:7).
            6. You are a sinning idiot (Matthew 12:32).
            7. You are a sinning idiot (Romans 12:11).
            8. You are a sinning idiot (Job 34:11).
            9. You are a sinning idiot (Matthew 7:13-14).
            10. You are a sinning idiot (Romans 3:23).


            Enjoy Hell!
            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

            Comment


            • Re: Manly Jokes

              Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
              Top Ten Reasons YOU will burn in Hell:

              1. You are a sinning idiot (James 2:10).
              2. You are a sinning idiot (Deuteronomy 4:2).
              3. You are a sinning idiot (Mark 16:16).
              4. You are a sinning idiot (Genesis 38:9-10).
              5. You are a sinning idiot (Exodus 20:7).
              6. You are a sinning idiot (Matthew 12:32).
              7. You are a sinning idiot (Romans 12:11).
              8. You are a sinning idiot (Job 34:11).
              9. You are a sinning idiot (Matthew 7:13-14).
              10. You are a sinning idiot (Romans 3:23).


              Enjoy Hell!
              Amen brother. And that's no joke!
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment


              • Re: Manly Jokes

                Because I know Jesus had and HAS a strong heart, I wish we would be more careful. Sometimes we have to look within, which is where our faith comes from.

                Comment


                • Re: Manly Jokes

                  Originally posted by Achaia View Post
                  Because I know Jesus had and HAS a strong heart, I wish we would be more careful. Sometimes we have to look within, which is where our faith comes from.
                  I am very sorry, Mr. Achaia but I fail to understand the joke. I do admit that I am man more familiar with the serious, utterly serious message of the Bible and Creation Science and, thus, this could be a deficiency from my part. Still, even the patriarchs knew when to laugh.

                  Genesis 12:12
                  Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?

                  Verily, God gave us laughter.



                  Seriously, though, I failed to understand the joke.


                  Yours in Christ,

                  Elmer
                  2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



                  PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
                  Check out our Research in Creation Science:

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                  • Re: Manly Jokes

                    Originally posted by Achaia View Post
                    Because I know Jesus had and HAS a strong heart, I wish we would be more careful. Sometimes we have to look within, which is where our faith comes from.
                    This statement seems contradictory to Ephesians 2:8, so I'd like to see any Scriptural support you can provide that this is true.

                    Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.

                    Yours in Christ,

                    Zech
                    sigpic

                    Comment


                    • Re: Manly Jokes

                      Originally posted by tedalmos View Post
                      Top Ten Reasons That Beer Is Better Than Jesus:-
                      a) No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
                      b) Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
                      c) They don't force beer on minors who cannot think for themselves.
                      d) Beer has never caused a major war.
                      e) When you have a beer you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
                      f) Nobody has ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over a beer.
                      g) You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer.
                      h) There are laws saying beer labels cannot lie to you.
                      I) You can prove you have a beer.
                      j) If you are devoted to beer then there are groups who can help you stop.
                      "beer has never forced war on anyone" have you heard of "The Beer War of 1380"??
                      Proverbs 15:26 - The thoughts of the wicked [are] an abomination to the LORD: but [the words] of the pure [are] pleasant words

                      POKEMON=SATANIC PAGAN RITUAL
                      Check out my new Discipline Lotion if you have NAUGHTY kids

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                      • Re: Manly Jokes

                        Originally posted by Achaia View Post
                        Because I know Jesus had and HAS a strong heart, I wish we would be more careful. Sometimes we have to look within, which is where our faith comes from.
                        HAHAHA! What a silly jest! Oh, boy the jokes in here can get pretty absurd, can't they?!

                        Here's another one...

                        What's the difference between negroids and snow tires?
                        Negroids don't sing when you put chains on them!

                        PRAISE GOD!
                        Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ,
                        -Youth Minister Harry Lester

                        Comment


                        • Re: Manly Jokes

                          Originally posted by Titus Templeton View Post
                          What is worse then beeing black or a muslim?

                          Beeing a black muslim
                          Aren't they all coons?
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                          Comment


                          • Re: Manly Jokes

                            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                            Aren't they all coons?
                            Mohamadens = sand nigras.
                            Apò toû hēlíou metástēthi

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                            • Re: Manly Jokes

                              I'm a woman. These jokes are manly.
                              Myarf

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