Thread: How to Land a Good Husband
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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 09-07-2016, 02:42 AM
Sister Handmaiden,

Can you tell me more about your qualifications for being a wife and mother? I would appreciate being informed of your cooking skills, ability to remain silent, keep a clean, sanitary home, and the like.

I also am interested in the reasons why you have waited so long to marry. As a True Christian™ man, I have every right to wait until the correct person comes along - but why a woman would select spinsterhoodity over spitting out Christ's Army -- well, I just can't imagine.

Nonetheless, I have interest in these answers. Could you also provide a suitable photograph? How wide are your hips?

May GOD richly bless you, Sister. Here are some of my qualifications for husbandry:

True Christian™
Certified Equine Gnathologist (a noble profession)
Future resident of Freehold, Iowa
Heir to Pureheart BMW, Cadillac, Lexus
Heir to Pureheart Chevrolet
Heir to Pureheart Auto Service of East Brunswick, NJ
A trust fund of over $2,000,000 has been recently released to me
Hard worker, diligent provider, and kind yet firm disciplinarian
Dedicated Republican, White Male, Baptist Patriot
Single, and untouched. I have known no woman Biblically.
Prayer Warrior (I am in the closet much of the time)
Graduate of the Ex-Catholic program offered through LBC
Endowed by my Creator in more ways than one
Supporter of Donald J. Trump
Athletic supporter
Fit body and sound mind

Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen