[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Mister Undergrad, I'm not sure I follow.

Why would Landover's True Christians want to save whales and dolphins, other than as food?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

[…]you seem to be ducking my question

Me? Ducking a question? Hey, what about the pot and the kettle – I can’t recall your ever giving a straight answer to anything.

about the Landover bigshots selling their cars, personal jets, gold plated golf clubs, rolling estates, etc. voluntarily to help the less fortunate. That is going to happen, right?

How would that solve any problems? Assume for one moment anyone in the USA could afford to buy “rolling estates” and assume that the “rolling estates” were not administered under a shell company registered in Liechtenstein as a blind trust registered in Tonga for a holding company registered in Liberia with anonymous shareholders registered in the Cayman Islands, how would that help the poor?

SAVE THE WHALES! AND THE DOLPHINS!

The best way to do this is freezing the meat.

Speaking of which, did you preach the Gospel to the dolphins before their inexplicable deaths? Jesus, in Mark 16:15, admonished Christians, "Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature."

They got some pretty fine preaching at the time they were caught in the nets. Although some heathen tried to persuade us of the virtues of the Jack Cousteau Sea Life Ministry and was summarily dismissed and Brother OEJ has written extensively on the difficulties of preaching to bacteria, nevertheless, each creature falling into our possession, gets an appropriate reading from KJV1611,

You do take that verse literally, don't you?

Why, I’m sure you know that we do. How could we be True Christians otherwise?

[StarrKingGrad]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Me? Ducking a question? Hey, what about the pot and the kettle – I can’t recall your ever giving a straight answer to anything.

I don't divide answers into straight and gay categories, that's too narrow a worldview. But, outside the question "what do Unitarians believe," which I'm reluctant to tackle because Unitarian beliefs are not so uniform that I can give you a simple answer, what question have I failed to answer?

How would that solve any problems?

Solve? It won't solve anything. "...the poor always ye have with you..." John 12:8 But I am worried about the immortal souls of your Pastor Deacon Fred and the others who inhabit the Landover gated communities: "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." Mark 10:25. It's not a solution, but rather salvation, at issue here.

nevertheless, each creature falling into our possession, gets an appropriate reading from KJV1611

Well, if you guys really rebuke the animals in your "care," then the death of those dolphins was a blessing, not a tragedy.

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

I"It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." Mark 10:25.

Right next to the large plastic Jesus statue, we've got the world's largest needle, and we regularly have camels from the Freehold Zoo drag ropes through the eye. So, thanks for your concern, but if you want to save a soul, look into your own heart. Pastor Deacon Fred doesn't want or need your help.

Here's a question I'd like you to answer: Why do you hate Jesus?

[StarrKingGrad]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

I don't hate anybody.

After the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Jesus is the person whom I most admire. I recognize, however, that Jesus was a product of his times, and we've made some progress in freedom and ethics over the last 2,000 years. At least, some of us have.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

I don't hate anybody.

After the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Jesus is the person whom I most admire.

Heathen! If I ever find anyone who is more into himself and his own opinions than you, I'll write to you and tell you.

I recognize, however, that Jesus was a product of his times, and we've made some progress in freedom and ethics over the last 2,000 years. At least, some of us have.

Well, how absolutely magnanimous! Purely subjective. I'm sure that the Patriarchs and those who witnessed Jesus's life would have said exactly the same thing as would each generation, there being no time like the time we were brought up, because that is the one we were/are used to.

Were anyone to believe your clap-trap, both the past ans the future would be seen as grim. The past was not good enough, the future is unknown and to be feared!

The secret is to view it objectively. To do this we must learn and regularly consult The Bible - the manual for The Way, The Truth and The Light. Once we all do that, keep to God's Word and have the gift of Salvation, we will really know that we are living in the Best of Times.

[SUV]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Brother Bathfire, I am sorry to burst in upon your thread like this, but I just found out that a clam lived to be 60 years' old. A clam.
A cold, slimy, cooter-looking, piffleing CLAM.

Sometimes I must question the Good Lord, and then I do get Angry

At myself, of course. For questioning Him

But yes, I feel Ill over this new-found fact; in fact, I haven't felt this Ill since Dora Denkins spiked the punch at the Church Social Picnic with her lighter fluid.

So Forgive me if my Tiara slipped here a little, but JESUS CHRIST - a CLAM?!!

Maybe this is in some way related to the Baby Jesu perhaps being a Snail?

[Nobar King]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

I hope I make it to 60.

[SUV]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

That's what I mean, Brother Nobar King. To Live 60 years Praising Jesus would be a Glorious thing. But so many of us are Called Home™ at such an early age.

And when's the last time anybody heard a CLAM of any age Praise Jesus?

A clam. A clam. A clam. A God-Damned piffling CLAM

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

And when's the last time anybody heard a CLAM of any age Praise Jesus?

They tend to clam up when anybody starts discussing God.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

That's what I mean, Brother Nobar King. To Live 60 years Praising Jesus would be a Glorious thing. But so many of us are Called Home™ at such an early age.

And when's the last time anybody heard a CLAM of any age Praise Jesus?

A clam. A clam. A clam. A God-Damned piffling CLAM

Miss SUV, God sometimes calls people home earlier than they might expect. But isn't that a good thing? That means they've been such good people that God wants them with Him right away!

Imagine: Instead of having to deal with false Christians, Jews, Emos, Catholics, Buddhists, Unfalsifiable, and other despicable God-haters, you could get a head start on an eternity with Jesus in Heaven! Glory! You'd never have to read another post by Lump, or look in terror at Brother Pansy Percy's greasy girlie locks (I think I saw a squirrel in there) again! Wouldn't that be wonderful?

God obviously does not want the Clam to come to Heaven. That's why He has allowed it to stay on Earth for so very long, as He did with George Burns. That Satanic monkey-man lived over 100 years, and God only let him die when his body finally quit working entirely!

However, you can boil the Clam and have it for dinner, if you like, with some melted butter. Yum! Assuming 60-year-old Clams don't get tough and stringy.



(Note: Clams don't have souls and don't go to Heaven anyway. But George Burns had a soul, which is now burning in Hell.)

[StarrKingGrad]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Heathen! If I ever find anyone who is more into himself and his own opinions than you, I'll write to you and tell you.

Don't bother, I wouldn't care about what they thought, anyway.

Well, how absolutely magnanimous! Purely subjective.

That's why I started the sentence by saying "I recognize." Unlike a True Christian, I at least recognize the possibility that some of what I believe might be wrong.

I'm sure that the Patriarchs and those who witnessed Jesus's life would have said exactly the same thing as would each generation, there being no time like the time we were brought up, because that is the one we were/are used to.

Let's say you're right and the Biblical stories are all literally true. Then mankind started in a state of grace and perfection in Eden, then God's chosen people wound up in bitter bondage, being redeemed only to fight a series of nearly endless wars, being delivered by God into slavery six times in the Book of Judges alone (twice, God got paid for that), and it goes on and on. I see no evidence that the Patriarchs considered their times to be better than the past; the exact opposite seems to be true. There's a reason the Book of Lamentations comes toward the end of the Old Testament.

Were anyone to believe your clap-trap, both the past ans the future would be seen as grim. The past was not good enough, the future is unknown and to be feared!

I am not afraid of the unknown.

The secret is to view it objectively. To do this we must learn and regularly consult The Bible - the manual for The Way, The Truth and The Light. Once we all do that, keep to God's Word and have the gift of Salvation, we will really know that we are living in the Best of Times.

If you are spiritually fulfilled, for whatever reason, then who am I to say that you aren't living in the best of times for you? You'd be surprised at the number of True Christians who are not being fulfilled spiritually (I know, because I'm in touch with many of them). Or maybe you do know, but refuse to admit it in public.

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Unlike a True Christian, I at least recognize the possibility that some of what I believe might be wrong.

Trust me on this, we True Christians™ also recognize the possibility that some of what you believe might wrong. And that's putting it mildly.

[Orelia]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Part 2

So there you are – although because of point 2 above, I’m not doing it again - it was another eventful excursion into the world of Biblical Science! Faith is all anyone ever needs!

I am very happy to have googled these HOAX pictures to see they were from other stories and had nothing to do with yours because I would have sent PETA after you!
Oh and I happen to KNOW a guy from Sea World!!! He says there is no way they let you have dolphins and NO dolphins were missing, sold, gave or anything! The dolphins bring well over 20,000$ a day EACH, so there is no way they would of departed from them! This is SICK!!! Although it is clearly a hoax, just the fact that you can think of doing such a thing too innocent dolphins is just sick and one of the most EVIL thing I have heard of in my life! Surely you are in with SATAN! I have no doubt of it!

Now let me explain little things to you! EVOLUTION DOES NOT WORK OVER A DAY, NOR A WEEK, NOR A MONTH, NOR A YEAR AND CERTAINLY NOT OVER ONE GENERATION!!!! Had you truly done something like this would of proven NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING AT ALLLLLL against evolution! There is NOT ONE EVOLUTIONIST IN THE WORLD that would of seen this as disproving evolution! Killing innocent animals does NOT disprove evolution, it is SICK and NOTHING ELSE!!!

Evolution works over thousands of generations, one little step at time, one tiny change at a time for over thousands of years, and it takes MILLIONS and MILLIONS of years for MAJOR changes (such as terrestrial becoming aquatic or vice versa) for it to happen! THIS IS WHAT EVOLUTIONISTS THINK!!!!!!!! No evolutionist is stupid enough to believe an entire animal will change physically just because he is in a different environment, and even then if the animal is not given proper time to adapt to slow changes in environment it will NOT change, simply become EXTINCT!!!
THERE IS NOT ONE SINGLE EVOLUTIONIST IN THE WORLD that believes a dolphin put in the desert and left to die there has ANYTHING EVEN TO DO WITH EVOLUTION!!!!! This is pure nonesens!!! This is nothing more than the slaughter of an INNOCENT ANIMAL OF GOD! This is animal CRUELTY NOTHING MORE!!!
Before you start trying to disprove evolution EDUCATE YOURSELF about what evolutionists believe in!!! Its like trying to disprove the existance of God by, by doing something as foolish and MONSTRUOUS like ripping a page out of the Bible book! "See it rips, its not IMMORTAL and yet it COMES FROM GOD, so GOD MUST NOT BE IMMORTAL AND THUS IS NOW DEAD!!" Do you see how this way of thinking LACKS ANY LOGIC AT ALL!!!!???
How can you disprove evolution when you clearly know nothing about it? If you don't educate yourself about it then how can you fight it?? Its like fighting in the dark and shooting arrows without knowing what your aiming at! How are your enemies suppose to think your a worthy opponent if you don't know anything ABOUT battle????
To know something you need to see both sides of the medal! Creasonists should study on ACTUAL professional web sites that talks about evolution, not CREATIONIST sites talking about what THEY THINK evolutionists think! How can you know if you never look for yourself, and simply take for granted what other creationsist say??? Evolutionists don't just look at TRUE SCIENTIFIC information, they go on true creationist web sites too to see both side of the medal! Its pointless if you only saw one!

[StreetPreacherLew]

Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Would SOMEONE please take out the Unsaved Trash?!?

We don't need your 'facts' or 'logic' here. We've got Jesus Christ and the KJV1611, His Holy Word!

Who are we to question why an omnipotent being needs a rest? If the Lord says He's tired, He's tired! End of story!