Brother Bob,
I've put some serious thought into your situation. While these ladies are offering some fine advice, I'm not sure you are ready for the big dance. Even if you wait till midnight, there is no way you can cover multiple exits by yourself.
We need to get you up to speed. Lucky for you, back in the forsaken years- Freddy knew every trick in the book when it came to courtship.
Thankfully, The Lord has forgave me for those innocent ladies that fell victim to my indiscretions. And certainly I hope some of them asked for forgiveness too because they needed it...
Moving on, forget the dance. I'm betting no one will be impressed with your Hokey Pokie anyway.
We need a controlled environment. I propose you immediately drive, or more probably take a bus down to my house. There is a local facility with countless women that are already confined. They need witnessing and most of them are desperate... REALLY desperate for some companionship.
There will be PLENTY to choose from, Bob! So bring some smokes, some cash may be a good call if needed, and decide if you prefer blondes or brunettes!
Some may even be able to help you out with this Mom of yours....
Here's a link.
You can go ahead and window shop my friend...
http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/newestladies/
PM when you are coming down.