Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
ENJOYING SUMMER CAN SEND YOU TO HELL!!
Summer time is often every ones favorite time of the year because of the pleasant temperature and fun summer activities. But to a True Christian it can also be a very dangerous time of the year.
Brothers and Sisters, please help me compile a handy list so we can know at a glance what to look out for.
1. Public Pools! They can cause pregnancy. True Christian women should never get in them past their knees. Public pools also spread the AIDS. Come to think of it JUST STAY OUT of them.
2. Sun Screen. Putting sunscreen on your self or others. Often the rubbing on of sun screen with cause arousal in you or the person you are putting it on (even children). This often leads to fornication or self abuse from M'ing.
3. Sun Dresses. As a woman I know that wearing a cute sun dress in the sweltering is not only fashionable, it's down right comfortable. BUT did you know that perverted men are just dying to get a peek of your legs and arms! Just the sight of ankles or bare arms can send some men in to a sexshual frenzy causing them to M for hours on end fantasizing about YOU. This will send YOU BOTH TO HELL. YOU will be the one who caused him to "sin in his heart".
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Sister,
I must tell you, I see a lot of positives about summer, as that is when I usually get many a conversion or recruit for Jesus!
I don't know how many times I have watched the beach from my balcony and taken photos of all the scantily clad guys and gals (
for research purposes of course
), changed into a bathing suit so as to fit in
, with my Bible in one hand, my Chick Tracts in another and my picnic basket come soapbox, swinging on my arm!
I certainly get a lot of attention and they must like my bathers as near everyone points and smiles at me.
I draw quite a crowd.
^..mine is very similar to the one on the right. Not so many buttons though as I think they are a little too brash for my taste.
Things that DO worry me however are
Chocolate coated Frozen Bananas.. I think WHY is self explanatory.
SUMMER IN AUSTRALIA - Most heathens spend Jesus' Birthday on the beach eating shellfish no less!!...
That in itself is like a double slap in the face to God!
YIC,
Sister Phebe.