Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole
Sexuality and war-crimes are inextricably linked, exactly as you have pointed out Mrs. Templeton. A real, intact male follows his orders without question. He watches military propaganda videos like a true patriot, he stabs babies through the chest with his bayonet without hesitation and from thousands of feet above he will drop bomblets on villages that leave unexploded munitions in the ground for decades. Where would the world be without spiritually uncastrated men?
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Dr. Toole, I fear this semi-errotic post, while inspiring, may be spiritually dangerous to some of our younger, unmarried ladies. The potential to lie in bed at night while drifting off to sleep, thinking of such a manly specimen of God's Work, might tempt some of the younger ladies into impure thoughts. I'm not upset with you, but please do keep in mind the easily influenced mind of the younger ladies, the ones who are waiting for their future husbands to be led by Jesus to their father's door. It's not because I'm a cougar or anything, I'm not fantasizing about these enormously masculine qualities because you so clearly articulate them to the point I can almost feel the rough and yet tender fingers on my thigh. And it's not because I'm dissatisfied with Mr. Etheldreda's manhood. I just want to put that out there so no one gets the wrong impression. Sure, I'd like to be held just once by arms strong enough to rip the throat out of an enemy during an intense, sweaty, testosterone filled interrogation, but that's not why I'm replying. I'm happy with what the LORD has blessed me with. A good provider. I'm provided for. And I'm grateful. Even if his arms are just a little floppy, like Grover, only less furry. Anyway, I just think a little tact might be in order in the future. For the spiritual strength of the young ladies, you see. I do hope you understand.