Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
Every father knows that daughters are completely useless. In theory they could be helpful in the household but that usually doesn't work out as planned. Daughters turn out to be whiners who are always complaining about how their head hurts after you hit them on the head with the Bible to discipline them for complaining too much. People often seem to forget that raising daughters is hard and unrewarding work.
1st Corinthians 11:8-9 "For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man."
Uninvited guests? Let them rape your daughter!
As always the Holy Bible has very clear guidelines for how we can use our daughters. Let's take Judges 19:22-30 for example. Here someone has invited a friend and his whore into his house and suddenly several uninvited guests arrive who want to kill the friend. The friend is probably a Christian while the uninvited guests are evil Atheists or Democrats. Of course the men of the house does the right thing and invites the uninvited guests to rape his virgin daughter: "Behold, here is my daughter a maiden, and his concubine; them I will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good unto you: but unto this man do not so vile a thing." Unfortunately you don't see this kind of hospitality anymore nowadays. People have become rude and insensitive towards the wishes of their guests.
If for some reason the uninvited guests are not interested in raping your virgin daughter, just show them your daughters naked body! Problem solved. Nahum 3:5-6 "Behold, I am against thee, saith the LORD of hosts; and I will discover thy skirts upon thy face, and I will shew the nations thy nakedness, and the kingdoms thy shame. "
Your daughter no longer a virgin? Burn her!
If your daughter behaves like a whore, the Bible is clear on what you have to do. An example of this would be your daughter allowing guests to rape her. You will have to burn your daughter after which she will go to Hell where she will burn for all eternity for being a whore! Genesis 38:24 "And it came to pass about three months after, that it was told Judah, saying, Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt."
Money problems? Sell your wife and daughters!
It is unfortunate most people nowadays ignore God's clear instructions on how to solve money problems. The economy would not have been in its present state if Obama wouldn't have forced Americans to use their houses to load insane amounts of money to pay his insanely high taxes. Taxes which are only used to fund terrorists. God's solution to money problems is very simple. Sell your daughter! Exodus 21:7 "... a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant ..." And to make the deal more interesting Matthew 18:25 makes clear that you can also sell your wife if you want. Only sell your wife if you have someone else to cook and clean for yourself though! |
According to this, after you let a complete stranger rape your daughter, you have to kill them, because they are no longer a virgin (don't deny that, COM SPECIFICALLY gave this as an example). If you don't kill them, you sell them into slavery. Is this even legal in the U.S?
Hypothetically speaking, if a Democrat came to my house and tried to rape my daughter many Bibles I have in my house, whack him with it, give it to him, and slam the door in his face. I'd rather protect my daughter's virginity so she could get into Heaven