Quote:
Originally Posted by Holy Henry
Hello my friends. Finally I have found a forum suitable for real Christians like myself.
My name is Henry and I used to be a dirty, filthy alcoholic atheist. I used to think I knew it all and often watched ridiculous videos featuring demons such as Christopher Hitchens, Neil DeGrasse Tyson and other monkey loving ignorant fools.
One day i was being a typical atheist scumbag and because I was so blind I accidentally wandered into my local church, Ebenezer Chapel. There were about 4 people in there getting ready for an evening of worship and I started mocking them with my circular logic and asked them if god could make a curry so hot that he couldn't eat it. I felt proud of my powerful faith destroying statement and turned around to walk out only for the wind to blow the church door shut and slam me in the face.
I was then informed it was God's way of making me stay. And I knew from that very moment that God was real and was calling me.
I have been in love with God ever since that day and was no longer an alcoholic. The only thing I thirsted for was the blood of Christ.
That's my testimony, I'm ashamed of my former ways. But I hope with your help I can become a better man.
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Welcome, Henry.
I rejoice in Jesus Christ the Lord that you are among those few who have turned their back on atheopathic lies to follow Jesus©. And it's a good thing since I have no doubt that any day now Jesus is going to rain fire and brimstone down on each and every laboratory in this country outside of Freehold.
The atheists you mentioned have recently reached a new low as they now worship some fellow named Higgs Boson. There simply aren't words to describe the blasphemy.
I look forward to your Godly participation on Jesus' Favorite Message Boards.
Warm Regards,
Pastor Ed