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  • #16
    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    What part of MEN ONLY don't you understand, filthy hippie!?

    The next time I find you in here, Pastor Pistle is going to hear about it. I suppose you remember the prayer closet?
    Do I look like someone that follows the rules preppy boy? NO. Therefore, I really don't care if it says "Men Only". You boys could actually learn a thing or two from the Landover women.

    As for the prayer closet...how could I forget. You kept me compay there...oh what a night that was. Some hot and heavy praying was deffinately going on in there.

    Moon

    Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
    Jesus comes to good Christian men in their sleep and raptures the excess seed from their bodies during dreams about intense religious experances with Christ.
    BJ, I know you're very patient with me and I really appreciate that, but I have to say...this whole dreaming about Christ and getting wet dreams is sort of....homerish?? Don't get mad, but remember that I'm Wiccan and so I don't understand the relationship you all have with JC. Is it like the hands on healing I attend with Larry (they're very satisfying and extremely intense)??

    Curious,
    Moon
    Last edited by MoonFlower; 09-21-2006, 03:53 PM.
    You pray...I dance naked in the forest

    Comment

    • #17
      Originally posted by MoonFlower View Post
      BJ, I know you're very patient with me and I really appreciate that, but I have to say...this whole dreaming about Christ and getting wet dreams is sort of....homerish?? Don't get mad, but remember that I'm Wiccan and so I don't understand the relationship you all have with JC. Is it like the hands on healing I attend with Larry (they're very satisfying and extremely intense)??

      Curious,
      Moon
      I don’t see what is homerish about it Moonflower; Jesus just appears in the dream bare to His holy waist, His Godly golden locks flowing from His glorious mullet. He smiles with His kind blue eyes and reaches down with His oh so warm but rugged hands and takes the seed from me. He holds up His Holy hand were He is holding a glowing ball of light filled with the seed souls He has taken from me. The seed souls flutter about in the light ball with their little wings and halos singing “All Glory to God for He has risen!” and Jesus ascends back to heaven. Pretty routine and hetro stuff. I think TV has given you some odd ideas Moonflower.

      Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

      Hot Must ReadThreads!


      Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        You don't know about this because the degenerate men you hold orgies with are drained dry of their Manly fluids by the time you are finished with them...
        errrrrr ... I thought this topic was about Christian dating, an activity where the only thing manly that a lady needs to worry about is her date's command of scripture.
        sigpic

        I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
          He smiles with His kind blue eyes and reaches down with His oh so warm but rugged hands and takes the seed from me.

          Riiiiight...nothing homerish about that....

          Moon

          PS - Does JC do that for women???
          You pray...I dance naked in the forest

          Comment

          • #20
            Originally posted by MoonFlower View Post
            Riiiiight...nothing homerish about that....

            Moon

            PS - Does JC do that for women???
            A Pastor's work is never done...
            sigpic

            I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

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            • #21
              Lar baby! So would I be correct is saying yes, JC does the same for women??

              Moon
              You pray...I dance naked in the forest

              Comment

              • #22
                Originally posted by MoonFlower View Post
                Lar baby! So would I be correct is saying yes, JC does the same for women??

                Moon
                Our Lord Jesus is a hands-on kind of God, but there's nothing more uplifting to a sister's spirit than some private Bible study with a True Man Of God™. But don't take my word for it, stop by my office tommorrow afternoon around 4, and we'll be praising God by 4:30.
                sigpic

                I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

                Comment

                • #23
                  Originally posted by Larry Lee View Post
                  Our Lord Jesus is a hands-on kind of God, but there's nothing more uplifting to a sister's spirit than some private Bible study with a True Man Of God™. But don't take my word for it, stop by my office tommorrow afternoon around 4, and we'll be praising God by 4:30.
                  Lar baby, you should be proud of yourself. You're the only Landover man I will actually have a hot and heavy Bible Study with. No one has been able to get me to scream praises as loud as you. We should start our Bible Studies™® and Healings™® all over again...I've really been in need of letting out some serious steam and I know with your classes I always leave refreshed, satifies, and most all...exhaused for some starge reason.

                  I give you props Lar...you're truely a very gifted man. I'll be there at 4pm and hopefully be able to get an all-nighter, if you're not to busy, of course.

                  Moon
                  You pray...I dance naked in the forest

                  Comment

                  • #24
                    Get A Room, You Adulterers!
                    Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                    "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                    Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                    Comment

                    • #25
                      Pa'DADDY, HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT OF ME?!

                      I'm hurt.
                      Moon

                      Ps - He's not married is he?
                      You pray...I dance naked in the forest

                      Comment

                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                        Get A Room, You Adulterers!
                        Adultery? Sorry to question you but I don't see where are you getting that from, Pastor. I see a Pastor studying the Bible and praising the Lord with a woman who is in bad need of the Lord's love in her life, nothing about fornication of any kind.
                        The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
                        Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
                        sigpic

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Jesus is Lord View Post
                          Adultery? Sorry to question you but I don't see where are you getting that from, Pastor. I see a Pastor studying the Bible and praising the Lord with a woman who is in bad need of the Lord's love in her life, nothing about fornication of any kind.
                          Thank you for your input, Brother. Here is a warning point for questioning a pastor.
                          Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                          "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                          Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                          Comment

                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                            Thank you for your input, Brother. Here is a warning point for questioning a pastor.
                            See, this is is why when the Alpha dog growls, you're supposed to back down....or something bad happens.

                            Moon
                            You pray...I dance naked in the forest

                            Comment

                            • #29
                              Originally posted by MoonFlower View Post
                              See, this is is why when the Alpha dog growls, you're supposed to back down....or something bad happens.

                              Moon
                              AND WHY ARE YOU STILL HAUNTING OUR MANLY MEN-ONLY AREA!?
                              Who Will Jesus Damn?

                              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                              Comment

                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                                Thank you for your input, Brother. Here is a warning point for questioning a pastor.
                                I like the warning points we have on this board; they appear as big red flags, warning innocent members that the post above was made by a Communist.
                                O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                                God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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