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  • Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

    Mother and Father were watching the local Freehold TV station - the one that is only available to True Christians(TM) residing here, and asked why there is never any new programming - just the same old Wash O'Hanley talk show (today's episode was about Jimmy Carter being elected!) and a few reruns of The Real McCoys, My Friend Flicka, and the Roy Rogers show. Granted, these are family friendly, but is there really that much viewership?

    Father suggested revamping the lineup. Does the church own the station? Is it for sale? Mother offered to dye her hair pink or purple if she could be on a program with Father.

    I also wrote a pilot called "The Prayer Closet." It is a soap opera that tells the stories of the Pureheart family. Paul and Paula are the parents of four children, Pat, Priscilla, Primrose, and Petunia. Each week they face a crisis of faith, usually involving the unsaved of the neighborhood. They pray about the crisis and Jesus intervenes. What keeps it lively and interesting? The new families that move to town, those that move away, hurricanes, blizzards, and even a homosexual (portrayed by a straight man). This is but one idea for fresh programming.

    I will pay a reasonable price for the station if the town board will approve it. Of course, Pastor Zeke and Mayor Hold will have rights to determine the appropriate program lineup.
    1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
    Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
    Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
    Locations in 50 States and Canada
    !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
    Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
    Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

  • #2
    Re: Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

    A woman cannot own a business like that
    Tell your parents to harden up. Everyone else I know in Freehold is perfectly happy with it.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

      Your Prayer Closet series does sound interesting, Sister Naomi, but Sister Mother/7 is right, God does not allow women to own businesses that might not be healthy for them. Television stations are an example.

      I have heard from others our programming could use more variety. Our problem is that once both a program and its sponsors have been vetted, few are left acceptable for our City's viewers.

      One thing we are doing to liven up our offerings is taping Pastor Zeke's sermons. I've looked at a pilot and let me tell you, he comes right out of the screen to pounce on sinners.

      I'm working on a State of the City address that will be taped soon and I think people will enjoy. I had to buy a new American flag to set behind me.

      One thing for sure, don't live in Freehold without television. You will miss out on some inspirational viewing.
      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

        The Church owns the TV station, the radio station, and the ad agency.

        See me for more details.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

          Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
          Your Prayer Closet series does sound interesting, Sister Naomi, but Sister Mother/7 is right, God does not allow women to own businesses that might not be healthy for them. Television stations are an example.

          I have heard from others our programming could use more variety. Our problem is that once both a program and its sponsors have been vetted, few are left acceptable for our City's viewers.

          One thing we are doing to liven up our offerings is taping Pastor Zeke's sermons. I've looked at a pilot and let me tell you, he comes right out of the screen to pounce on sinners.

          I'm working on a State of the City address that will be taped soon and I think people will enjoy. I had to buy a new American flag to set behind me.

          One thing for sure, don't live in Freehold without television. You will miss out on some inspirational viewing.
          Hello, Your Honor
          I am soooo thankful for your advice regarding the appropriateness of a lowly, demure female operating a big ol' TV station I think you and I and Zeke , our handsome, GODLY pastor, should meet at my place or perhaps a place of your choosing to talk about this further. My, Mr. Mayor, your muscles look so tight. Let me give you a shoulder massage. Zeke? You may need that massage, too, after spending all day zapping sinners with the Love of Christ. I'm finishing up a cherry pie just now - it's warm and tasty!

          And if the topic of the TV station should pop up, I bet we could come up with some financial arrangements. I have been praying about upping my tithes again. And Mayor, did you get my check for your re-election campaign? Not that it has anything whatsoever to do with this silly TV station, of course

          Meekly, with my pie ready for the both of you,
          Naomi Ruth

          now where did I put that silly checkbook? If only someone were here to help me find it


          1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
          Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
          Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
          Locations in 50 States and Canada
          !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
          Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
          Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

            Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
            Hello, Your Honor
            I have been praying about upping my tithes again. And Mayor, did you get my check for your re-election campaign? Not that it has anything whatsoever to do with this silly TV station, of course

            Meekly, with my pie ready for the both of you,
            Naomi Ruth

            now where did I put that silly checkbook? If only someone were here to help me find it

            Sister Naomi--Thank you for the contribution to my reelection campaign. I want to reassure you your TV production piece is still under consideration. Pastor Zeke and I are very impressed with it.

            With Pastor Zeke's travel schedule we have not had time to make a decision.
            Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

              I love knowing when I am at the Freehold Westin and I turn on the 85" flat panel TV, I am not assaulted with porn involving midgets, enormously constructed nigra mandingos, hordes of bosomy coeds and chiseled young men having every orifice penetrated. It is the last thing on my mind after a long day of travel sharing the the joy of Jesus.

              I also am pleased to know the WiFi has blocks for everything but Landoverbaptist.net. There is no need to be anyplace else for all the information a True Christian(tm) could ever want.
              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

                I'm not sure how any of you find the time to watch tele-vision when no permission has been granted to stop praying.

                I Samuel 12:23-24
                Moreover as for me, God forbid that I should sin against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you: but I will teach you the good and the right way:
                only fear the Lord, and serve him in truth with all your heart: for consider how great things he hath done for you.

                I Thessalonians 5:16-18
                Rejoice evermore.
                Pray without ceasing.
                In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.


                Although I can't say I'm surprised that not everyone takes their walk with Christ as seriously as I do...
                II Thessalonians 1:7-9
                And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
                In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
                Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



                The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

                  Originally posted by Jedediah View Post
                  I'm not sure how any of you find the time to watch tele-vision when no permission has been granted to stop praying.

                  I Samuel 12:23-24
                  Moreover as for me, God forbid that I should sin against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you: but I will teach you the good and the right way:
                  only fear the Lord, and serve him in truth with all your heart: for consider how great things he hath done for you.

                  I Thessalonians 5:16-18
                  Rejoice evermore.
                  Pray without ceasing.
                  In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.


                  Although I can't say I'm surprised that not everyone takes their walk with Christ as seriously as I do...
                  Handsome, loving Brother Jed
                  Indeed our Lord tells us to pray without ceasing. I,for one, find myself praying every moment of every day - particularly while baking. The Holy Ghost seems to direct my hands when I am in fellowship with the Lord. Although I bow to your far greater knowledge as a man regarding the things of the Lord, I do believe we can pray even while watching 80's classic TV on the Freehold channel: "God's the Boss," "Full House of God," "7th Heaven," "Highway to Heaven," "Kate and Allie find Jesus," etc. I'm just suggesting that we might do well to upgrade a bit - and just think of the profits if we sell our programming to satellite providers. Praise the Lord and Taylor!

                  In meekness,
                  Miss Lamb
                  1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
                  Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
                  Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
                  Locations in 50 States and Canada
                  !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
                  Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
                  Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

                    Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
                    Handsome, loving Brother Jed
                    Indeed our Lord tells us to pray without ceasing. I,for one, find myself praying every moment of every day - particularly while baking. The Holy Ghost seems to direct my hands when I am in fellowship with the Lord. Although I bow to your far greater knowledge as a man regarding the things of the Lord, I do believe we can pray even while watching 80's classic TV on the Freehold channel: "God's the Boss," "Full House of God," "7th Heaven," "Highway to Heaven," "Kate and Allie find Jesus," etc. I'm just suggesting that we might do well to upgrade a bit - and just think of the profits if we sell our programming to satellite providers. Praise the Lord and Taylor!

                    In meekness,
                    Miss Lamb
                    My beloved Sister, being a few years younger than you it pains me to rebuke you (you're practically an elder, ), however, I do have a loving suggestion: why don't you let men worry about manly stuff (which includes anything that has to do with money), and concentrate on improving your baking skills? (As for knitting, I don't think there are any hopes for you, so don't even try).

                    M
                    God created fossils to test our faith.

                    * * *

                    My favorite LBC sermons:
                    True Christians are Perfect!
                    True Christian™ Love.
                    Salvation™ made Easy!
                    You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                    Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                    Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                    Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                    Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                    The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                    Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                    God HATES Rational Thinking!
                    True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

                      Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                      My beloved Sister, being a few years younger than you it pains me to rebuke you (you're practically an elder, ), however, I do have a loving suggestion: why don't you let men worry about manly stuff (which includes anything that has to do with money), and concentrate on improving your baking skills? (As for knitting, I don't think there are any hopes for you, so don't even try).

                      M
                      Glory to God, Sister:

                      I would never consider your kind suggestion as a rebuke, darling! In fact, I wouldn't consider it at all.

                      In His Holy Name,
                      Miss Lamb
                      1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
                      Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
                      Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
                      Locations in 50 States and Canada
                      !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
                      Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
                      Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

                        Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
                        Glory to God, Sister:

                        I would never consider your kind suggestion as a rebuke, darling! In fact, I wouldn't consider it at all.

                        In His Holy Name,
                        Miss Lamb
                        My most beloved older Sister, I'm glad that you are not offended by my humble Christian opinion.

                        Note to Mayor Hold:

                        Be aware that somebody is trying to bring Oprah Winfrey's OWN tv network to the Godly Freehold tv. I won't name any names, but will send you the evidence.
                        God created fossils to test our faith.

                        * * *

                        My favorite LBC sermons:
                        True Christians are Perfect!
                        True Christian™ Love.
                        Salvation™ made Easy!
                        You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                        Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                        Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                        Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                        Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                        The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                        Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                        God HATES Rational Thinking!
                        True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

                          Although there has never been a television in the Lizalor household, I occasionally see recorded episodes of Inspector Rex. Perhaps a similar idea could be reproduced using a rescué? Apparently some of them have already been trained.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

                            Sister Mitza,

                            Isn't this the theme song that you yourself recorded? I recognize the lilt and tone that is so you. I was moved as I watched this clip and I know that it is a wonderful idea. Just as soon as I obtain ownership of the station, you and I MUST get together and talk. Would you consider a show of your own, dear? If so, in what genre do you see yourself?

                            Kirk Cameron is looking for a love interest for a program I'm writing called "That True Christian(TM) Girl," which chronicles his search for the perfect wife; but that would be a one-episode deal, I'm afraid, since each week features a different girl.

                            Let me know your ideas and we'll collaborate! PRAISE GOD!

                            Your best friend,
                            Miss Lamb
                            1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
                            Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
                            Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
                            Locations in 50 States and Canada
                            !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
                            Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
                            Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Who Owns the Freehold TV Station?

                              Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
                              Sister Mitza,

                              Isn't this the theme song that you yourself recorded? I recognize the lilt and tone that is so you. I was moved as I watched this clip and I know that it is a wonderful idea. Just as soon as I obtain ownership of the station, you and I MUST get together and talk. Would you consider a show of your own, dear? If so, in what genre do you see yourself?

                              Kirk Cameron is looking for a love interest for a program I'm writing called "That True Christian™ Girl," which chronicles his search for the perfect wife; but that would be a one-episode deal, I'm afraid, since each week features a different girl.

                              Let me know your ideas and we'll collaborate! PRAISE GOD!

                              Your best friend,
                              Miss Lamb
                              My experience is generally behind the scenes, I could assist with training perhaps; or hospitality. Mostly it's been near the coast where venues cater to a different clientelle than would be the case for Freehold I suspect. But I am open to any suggestions, naturally.

                              Occasionally I transcribe theme tunes for different instruments, but never having seen the shows and general unavailability of theme tune scores makes it a bit tricky. However I have just completed "Blak Adder" transcribed for harpsichord - but that would be unsuited. Probably.

                              Comment

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