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  • #76
    Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!

    Originally posted by YouRaiseMeUp View Post
    I see myself as David and BAWls as the Goliath
    Not even close son, and please keep it out of this forum. Remember your place and show some respect. When Jesus makes you a True Christian™ then you get to dis me. /It's over.
    Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.

    Comment

    • #77
      Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!

      Originally posted by YouRaiseMeUp View Post
      I see myself as David and BAWls as the Goliath, you want to pick on somebody small? No problem, the rock of Christ will get to your head.
      Dear, your analogy is wrong. This is how it really goes:

      Brother BAW is a Godly True Christian™ Man, and you're a pathetic heathen worm that he accidentally squished under his Godly boot.
      God created fossils to test our faith.

      * * *

      My favorite LBC sermons:
      True Christians are Perfect!
      True Christian™ Love.
      Salvation™ made Easy!
      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
       Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
      God HATES Rational Thinking!
      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

      Comment

      • #78
        Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!

        Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
        ...Brother BAW is a Godly True Christian™ Man, and you're a pathetic heathen worm...
        But, he can get better.


















        I'm talking about BAW.

        Comment

        • #79
          Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!

          Amen, Sister.

          Keep fighting the good fight against unclean hands and souls.

          Comment

          • #80
            Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!

            Originally posted by CreationistRoger View Post
            Proud to say that after 7 years of cleanliness, I'm an official member of the anti-masturbation club.
            Blessed be those who rise above the temptations of the flesh.

            Comment

            • #81
              Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!

              We need to fight sin and self-defilement.

              Comment

              • #82
                Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!

                Originally posted by Sister Sally Bate View Post
                Blessed be those who rise above the temptations of the flesh.
                Amen, sister! As I always tell my children, you can't hold hands with if your hands are otherwise sinfully occupied.

                Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                Comment

                • #83
                  Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!

                  Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                  Amen, sister! As I always tell my children, you can't hold hands with if your hands are otherwise sinfully occupied.

                  That is very sensible and wise of you.
                  I had to buy my nephew one of these, because he did not understand the severity of his actions.



                  I am convinced he is closer to heaven now that his bad habits have been curbed.

                  Comment

                  • #84
                    Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!

                    Originally posted by Sister Sally Bate View Post
                    That is very sensible and wise of you.
                    I had to buy my nephew one of these, because he did not understand the severity of his actions.



                    I am convinced he is closer to heaven now that his bad habits have been curbed.
                    Self-rape hurts so many more people that just the rapist/victim. Mostly, it hurts Jesus, and that breaks my heart. It also makes me very, very angry, and my boys know better than to cross me.

                    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                    Comment

                    • #85
                      Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!

                      This ingenious device could have a dual purpose. If you prop the young boy upright in the corner, it could teach him what it felt like for Jesus while he hung from the cross.
                      Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
                      in 2016

                      Comment

                      • #86
                        Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!

                        Originally posted by VictoryOS View Post
                        This ingenious device could have a dual purpose. If you prop the young boy upright in the corner, it could teach him what it felt like for Jesus while he hung from the cross.
                        That is genius! In the Sunday school where I used to teach, I would pass around a Styrofoam donut with toothpicks so the kids could see how Christ felt with his crown of thorns. Each child got to experience, first hand, the ecstasy of sacrifice.

                        Comment

                        • #87
                          Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!



                          I have had a friend with one of those. He used it for his Retarded Mongoloid, Down Syndrome Daughter. What he did though was pull an old handle off a Golf Buggy and attach it behind the head of the padded Cross and used it so he didn't have to wheel a wheelchair into the pub when he met his friends for the daily Alcoholic-Booze-Up. It was too embarrassing, the wheelchair. He still has to show up with the spastic but he thinks it makes it a lot more manly.

                          Turns out he was a Catlick and ended up in some Heathen Satanic fellowship called Alcoholics Amoungus or Alcoholics 'R' Us or some Satanic named group. May both of them burn in .
                          He's back at the Pub again but screw him. He borrowed a can opener off me once and never returned it. I've killed for less than that (in the old days) and his freak daughter kreep'd me out big time. It looked like her eyes were always following me when I was shouting enthusiastic prayers at her to keep the evil away from me.
                          Thank God she's dead now. I still see those hellish eyes. Following me. Like it was a real child.

                          Artists rendition of Cross-Buggy

                          Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.

                          Comment

                          • #88
                            Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!

                            Originally posted by Back against wall View Post
                            ... and his freak daughter kreep'd me out big time, it looked like her eyes were always following me when I was shouting enthusiastic prayers at her to keep the evil away from me.
                            That's quite a common catlick thing**, Brother Back (** though being a retarded would make it worse). I know this for sure because my husband explained it to the boys when one of them asked why that creepy Mona Liza picture keeps staring at you, even when you try to get out of its line of sight. The twins even did a proper experiment where they stood on opposite sides of the room to test it and it still managed to stare at both of them!

                            Apparently you see it in a lot of catlick "art", because the artists picked models from their own perverted kind and these people are so paranoid that they have to watch everyone all the time. It's not natural.

                            Originally posted by Back against wall View Post
                            Thank God she's dead now. I still see those hellish eyes. Following me. Like it was a real child.
                            I wish you hadn't said that. I shall have nightmares.

                            YiC
                            Joanna
                            Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                            Comment

                            • #89
                              Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!

                              While the very idea of fondling my genitalia in a manner that provides maximum stimulation to achieve the most powerful eruptions of my manly sex, I cannot get over what the sounds of the tens of thousands of dying babies must be like as their tiny lifeless bodies dry out on a tissue.
                              No, I let God take hold of my urges, producing offspring in my wife, Mrs. Hutchins. Do His deeds, no matter how distasteful.
                              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                              Comment

                              • #90
                                Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!

                                Originally posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
                                Apparently you see it in a lot of catlick "art", because the artists picked models from their own perverted kind and these people are so paranoid that they have to watch everyone all the time. It's not natural.
                                The Horror, the horror.
                                Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.

                                Comment

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