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1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Re: Manly Jokes
Originally posted by AnAtheist1 View Post1- My mother is happily married with my father.
2- I wouldn't let you teach me nothing, not even how to shut up.
3-I never heard that Jesus killed, but nevermind. That's just everyone's opinion
NEW RULES
Anyone posting whining complaints or derails this thread from its stated purpose is either going to be banned or will earn themselves a trip to Quarantine.
Not only does this place Jesus in a foul mood, it places the rest of the God Fearing men around here in a foul mood. We come here to share some special time with Jesus - so get over it.Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawnsigpic
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Re: Manly Jokes
Originally posted by AnAtheist1 View Post1- My mother is happily married with my father.
2- I wouldn't let you teach me nothing, not even how to shut up.
3-I never heard that Jesus killed, but nevermind. That's just everyone's opinion
If you see your mother, tell her I love her too, and forgive her for cheating on me with anything that moves.The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Re: Manly Jokes
A pastor of the local Baptist church was walking by the home of one of his congregation when he noticed the man out on the front porch laughing and laughing.
"Share the joy, son," said the pastor. "What has made you so full of merriment?"
"Oh, I just had an argument with my wife," said the man, as he continued to laugh uncontrollably.
"But if you had an argument, why are you laughing?"
"Well, I told my wife to fix my supper and keep the kids away from me so I could pray and read God's Word. She said, 'I don't have to do what you say.' So I locked her in the bedroom along with my daughter, sent my son to spend the night with his grandparents, and here I am."
The two men spent the next hour laughing at the stupid woman's stupidity.
"Stupid women," said the pastor.
It's good to be male.
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Re: Manly Jokes
Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View PostIt's okay, son. I will still be here for you when you are done with your awkward adolescence. That is a father's job.
If you see your mother, tell her I love her too, and forgive her for cheating on me with anything that moves.
Son of a bitch, take that back. This is a place for mentally damaged people, like you, bastard. What kind of F U C K I N G place is this?
F U C K OFF, bastards sons of bitches.
Uh, and tell your daughter that the place she's working in it's not safe, she might not get paid for her work. I mean, that street corner is just too dangerous.
F U C K OFF FROM THIS F U C K I N G PLANET.
Save humanity from death. Kill yourselves.
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Re: Manly Jokes
Originally posted by AnAtheist1 View PostHey. This. Crosses. The. Line.
Son of a bitch, take that back. This is a place for mentally damaged people, like you, bastard. What kind of F U C K I N G place is this?
F U C K OFF, bastards sons of bitches.
Uh, and tell your daughter that the place she's working in it's not safe, she might not get paid for her work. I mean, that street corner is just too dangerous.
F U C K OFF FROM THIS F U C K I N G PLANET.
Save humanity from death. Kill yourselves.
God loves you, because He gave you an undeserved chance at salvation, even though you hate Him and His elect. Does your mother love you so much that she would temporarily die for you? It sounds to me like she would rather lie to you about everything. She lied to you about Jesus. She lied to you about who your father was (she pretended to know). Your mother doomed your eternal soul with her lies and her whoredoms.
I am your true friend. You should listen to me. Because all I am telling you is to listen to God's word, as preserved in the King James Bible.The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Re: Manly Jokes
Originally posted by AnAtheist1 View PostHey. This. Crosses. The. Line.
Son of a bitch, take that back. This is a place for mentally damaged people, like you, bastard. What kind of F U C K I N G place is this?
F U C K OFF, bastards sons of bitches.
Uh, and tell your daughter that the place she's working in it's not safe, she might not get paid for her work. I mean, that street corner is just too dangerous.
F U C K OFF FROM THIS F U C K I N G PLANET.
Save humanity from death. Kill yourselves.
Get well soon friend!
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Re: Manly Jokes
Originally posted by AnAtheist1 View PostHey. This. Crosses. The. Line.
Son of a bitch, take that back. This is a place for mentally damaged people, like you, bastard. What kind of F U C K I N G place is this?
F U C K OFF, bastards sons of bitches.
Uh, and tell your daughter that the place she's working in it's not safe, she might not get paid for her work. I mean, that street corner is just too dangerous.
F U C K OFF FROM THIS F U C K I N G PLANET.
Save humanity from death. Kill yourselves.
I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.
Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Re: Manly Jokes
Originally posted by AnAtheist1 View PostHey. This. Crosses. The. Line.
Son of a bitch, take that back. This is a place for mentally damaged people, like you, bastard. What kind of F U C K I N G place is this?
F U C K OFF, bastards sons of bitches.
Uh, and tell your daughter that the place she's working in it's not safe, she might not get paid for her work. I mean, that street corner is just too dangerous.
F U C K OFF FROM THIS F U C K I N G PLANET.
Save humanity from death. Kill yourselves.
Strong language is never appreciated.God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Re: Manly Jokes
Originally posted by rolledup View PostSince all of you seem to enjoy Freud and Jung so much, might I point out that they said that men who objectified women as nothing but possessions were closet pansies? Just saying. Now this is food for thought
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Re: Manly Jokes
Originally posted by rolledup View PostLol pastor. Er... Not very quick are we??? Lemme break it down for you. This........ is...... not....... a...... joke..... Did you get it Pastor?!
If you need some material, you should study this guy's act, he's a laugh riot:
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Re: Manly Jokes
Originally posted by rolledup View PostSince all of you seem to enjoy Freud and Jung so much, might I point out that they said that men who objectified women as nothing but possessions were closet pansies? Just saying. Now this is food for thoughtHell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawnsigpic
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