[Sledge Riprock]

Re: Colonic Demons?

That guy in the banner ad that links to this thread is giving me the CREEPS! He DEFINITELY has demons in his colon! Just look at his EYES!

YES!!!

He is ONE of Them! That Face, He Haunts my Dreams, my DREAMS OF BLOOD!!! He is a DARK ONE, he is not of The Her! He is Of The Shadows! PURE EVIL!!! The HORROR of THAT FACE!!!



His EYES, those Horrible EYES! NO!!! Begone Demon-Filled MONSTER, back to HELL, Back where you Came From! NOW!!! I call on The Lord to CAST YOU INTO The Pit! LEAVE Me Alone, Get out of My HEAD!! NOW!!!

'

[Living_Water]

Re: Colonic Demons?

I'm quite worried that it is very likely I've gotten colonic demons in my youth while masturbating.

Is it possible to arrange colonic demon check and cleansing via webcam for those that do not live in Freehold?
If it is possible I'd like to reserve a calling time for that operation.

[Rapture Eddie]

Re: Colonic Demons?

I'm quite worried that it is very likely I've gotten colonic demons in my youth while masturbating.

Is it possible to arrange colonic demon check and cleansing via webcam for those that do not live in Freehold?
If it is possible I'd like to reserve a calling time for that operation.

You need to get in touch with one of our "outreach" Pastors.

[Original Gothster]

Re: Colonic Demons?

You need to get in touch with one of our "outreach" Pastors.

Other than getting sent to Hell if you die with Demons up your butt, what else do they do up there? Do they have teeth, or are they like ghosts? Can you feel them, all wiggling around and stuff?

As a former working girl, for the right price, a guy could do pretty much whatever he wanted back there, so I'm a bit wore out if you get my meaning. But I don't think anything is actually living up my poop chute. And what about cooter demons?

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Colonic Demons?

Jees, we jist figgured DeWayne had a bout wif worms....shoulda known it was the debil his-self up his butt

[wait_what]

Re: Colonic Demons?

The world is not a sphere, as we know. Therefore it can have more than one central location. Here are a couple of illustrations which are clear enough concerning the real situation, the Truth revealed by God who created all things.




COLOSSIANS 1
16 For by him were all things created that are in heauen, and that are in earth, visible and inuisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him.
17 And he is before all things, and by him all things consist.
©1611

God by His Word made everything. That is why He knows everything about it, everything that can ever be known, whether we can see it or not.
God has not abandoned us in some enigmatic dark age. He illuminates our understanding by the light of His Word.

JOHN 1:14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among vs (& we beheld his glory, the glory as of the onely begotten of the Father) full of grace and trueth.
©1611

When God tells us about the world He has created or about His Plan For Salvation, He is telling the truth. God is not a liar.

JOHN 14:6 Iesus saith vnto him, I am the Way, the Trueth, and the Life: no man commeth vnto the Father but by mee.
©1611

Some people would rather pay attention to their own spurious ideas and ignore God's Truth. They are really worshiping Satan's philosophy in so doing: they might as well worship their own genitals! It's idolatry in any case, but there are many who do prefer lies!

God tells us about people like that, too:

ROMANS 1:25 Who changed the trueth of God into a lye, and worshipped and serued the creature more then the Creatour, who is blessed for euer. Amen.
©1611

As accurate and detailed as your portrayal may be, I fear for you. You may need to have your colonic demons removed. It seems they have motivated you to try to correct a man, and a True Christian one at that. No way you would do that if you didn't have anal archfiends.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Colonic Demons?

As accurate and detailed as your portrayal may be, I fear for you. You may need to have your colonic demons removed. It seems they have motivated you to try to correct a man, and a True Christian one at that. No way you would do that if you didn't have anal archfiends.

1. Little Donkey is not a True Christian(tm).
2. It is not your place to correct a Forum Member, someone on a par with you on the forum but far beyond you in her Biblical knowledge. It is the place of a Pastor or a True Christian(tm) to correct her.
3. Why do you concern yourself with an imagined mote in Sister Mitza's eye, while ignoring the SCUD missile in your own?

[wait_what]

Re: Colonic Demons?

1. Little Donkey is not a True Christian™.
2. It is not your place to correct a Forum Member, someone on a par with you on the forum but far beyond you in her Biblical knowledge. It is the place of a Pastor or a True Christian™ to correct her.
3. Why do you concern yourself with an imagined mote in Sister Mitza's eye, while ignoring the SCUD missile in your own?

Fair enough. I apologize.

[mcmullanbrush]

Re: Colonic Demons?

I live in the north of England and was hoping I could find somewhere locally to exorcise my fundament. Can anyone help?

[Talitha]

Re: Colonic Demons?

I live in the north of England and was hoping I could find somewhere locally to exorcise my fundament. Can anyone help?

We do not perform exorcism. That is a catholic occupation.
Get those mary worshipers in and it wouldn't just be Demons they wanted from your Rectum.

If you are a skirt wearing nancy boy from North England then there is your problem.
Demons just love men in skirts.

[Nobar King]

Re: Colonic Demons?

Now that they have esophageal cameras it's only a matter of time before we start seeing pictures of the demons that reside in the rectums of the unsaved.

[mcmullanbrush]

Re: Colonic Demons?

We do not perform exorcism. That is a catholic occupation.
Get those mary worshipers in and it wouldn't just be Demons they wanted from your Rectum.

If you are a skirt wearing nancy boy from North England then there is your problem.
Demons just love men in skirts.

I apologise for the confusion. When I said North England, I didn't mean Scotland, where skirt wearing is compulsary.

[Jonesey]

Re: Colonic Demons?

Where do the demons go in women? Are they anal or vaginal? Or both? Or do the demons only like boys' butts, because they are fags?

[IcelandIsDoomed]

Re: Colonic Demons?

OMG! I obviously really need the Jesus enema! Although I'm not Canadian and I really didn't want to listen to Celine Dion... does that count for anything??

God save our rectum!!

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: Colonic Demons?

OMG! I obviously really need the Jesus enema! Although I'm not Canadian and I really didn't want to listen to Celine Dion... does that count for anything??

God save our rectum!!

Icelanders are even more infested. I think you'll need to ask Brother Eddie if the JE can even work for you.

All those years of listening to Bjork have toughened them up.